The days that passed held some of the most painful feelings I've ever felt.
The heartrending songs that my ex-boyfriend sung through the tape were not only gorgeous, but they brought back too many memories.

It's been nearly a week.

Eight songs down. I have no idea how many to go.

Tomorrow was the fresh start of my very own mini-promotional-tour, an MPT. (That's what they call it.)

I'd got everything planned, but the only thing was, most of the songs I was going to perform, were about my relationship with Nick. The songs were inspired by him and his family and the experiences I've had with them.

But I guess they could be interpreted in any way they wanted to be. Most of them were pretty general.

Every time I'd turn on the TV flashes of images of the brothers would switch on. My eyes would well up instantly.

I loved them all.
Of course, Nick and I shared something that I cannot describe in words, the feelings that I felt towards him were too extreme to speak out about.
Apart from in my songs. It was just so easy, just came flowing instantaneously out of my mouth and music was made.

I sat down on my bed, reached for the play button on the cassette player and listened.

'This song, was when we first realised we were truly made for each other.'

I sucked in a breath. The chords began, and I drifted back to the scene when we made our true love vows.

'I hold you close,
You hold me tight,
This is for real,
The feelings right,

I've never spoken,
These words before,
Promise me baby,
You'll open the door,

I love you,
It's true,
I can't hide it anymore,
I love you,
I love the way you smile,
I love how you stuck around for a while,
I love it when you call my name,
Please tell baby,

That you feel the same,

You let me go,
I pull you back,
You're gravitational,
It's a fact,

I've never spoken,
These words before,
Promise me baby,
You'll open the door,

I love you,
It's true,
I can't hide it anymore,
I love you,
I love the way you smile,
I love how you stuck around for a while,
I love it when you call my name,
Please tell me baby,

That you feel the same...

I feel like we have something more,
Than a kiss, yeah,
I feel like we should set the score,
Like this,

I love you,
It's true,
I can't hide it anymore,
I love you,
I love the way you smile,
I love how you stuck around for a while,
I love it when you call my name,
Please tell me baby,
Tell me baby,

You feel the same.'

For the first time, I didn't cry at one of the songs.
I felt happy, because I remembered the feelings I had for him on that day.

Sure, I guess I'll never be able to experience them again, and I won't feel the warmth of his body ever again... nor will I know what it feels like to feel that loved.

But I had something else now.

Music.

I took the songs as inspiration, they helped me to define my sound, and create emotion in my songs, and no matter what comes my way now, I'll have the passion and drive to get me through it.

I'm done with crying.

And although, I'll always love Nick.

No matter what he's done to me.

He'll always be special to me, and I can never forget that.
Nor can I forget his amazing family, whom without I could have never rebuilt my life the way I have.

_________________________________________________________________________

Sunrise was truly the most beautiful natural thing I've ever seen.
Apart from Nick of course.

I'd come out onto the ocean front wearing one of Nick's navy hoodies and my denim shorts. I didn't have time to search for shoes, I was afraid I'd miss the view.

As I watched the sun streaks dance across the gentle waves I felt two arms wrap themselves around the front of my chest.

There was no question to who it was.

"Hey rockstar." I leant my head up and kissed his soft cheek.

He snuggled his head into the crook of my neck and kissed me tenderly.
I tingled, as usual.

"Why are you out here all on your lonesome hey?

"I wanted to see the sunrise."
I said simply, watching the horizon.

"Why didn't you come and get me?"
He asked, he didn't sound offended, just a little sad.

"Well, I didn't want to wake you. You looked so peaceful. And anyways, you don't care about nature anyways! You hate going anywhere near the wilderness!"

I felt his smirk stretching across his face.

"True." He stated.

"But I'd of loved to of spent it with you."
His voice sounded so seductive, but he was such a romantic.

"As you say Nicholas, it's just the sun. I mean it's not our source of life or anything like that."

He laughed softly.
"Shut it you."
He tickled my sides playfully, and I wriggled in his grip.

"I'll prove to you I'm not scared of nature!"

He released his arms around me and took of his t-shirt.

"Hey, big shot Jonas! I never said you were scared. Keep your pride Nick you needn't do anything to prove to me you're a real man!"

I laughed as I watched him strip down to his boxers.

"Erm, Nicholas. Now's not the time to be a wild child. I think I see the paps on their bikes over that sandy hill!"
I giggled.

"Let them see! I, Nick Jonas is not scared of nature!"

And with that, my proud boyfriend jumped right into the freezing cold ocean.

"Oh shit." I stated humorously as I watched his head pop up victoriously from the waves he had just created.

"Help me! I forgot, I can't swim!"
Oh no you don't Jonas.

"Please won't someone save me!?"
As he flailed around in the water, I couldn't help but laugh.

"You're ridiculous Jonas!" I squealed.

I took off the hoodie, and realised I was wearing a thin yellow vest-top.
What the hell.

I ran into the waves and jumped into the ocean as if it was my long lost friend.

I felt Nick's arms lift me in the water, and I wrapped my arms and legs around him and we floated there, embracing as we dipped up and down with the current.

"Do you know what?"
Nick hushed quietly.

"First of all Nick. No one else is around to hear us. And, what is it you crazy boy?"

"Ok then." He stated in a louder voice.
But nothing could of prepared me for what was coming next.

"MARNIE ELOISE JONAS! I LOVE YOU!"

He screamed at the top of his lungs, he made my whole body vibrate and tingle with excitement.

"Nick!" I half squealed-screeched.

"What?" He grinned that adorable open-mouthed grin and I melted.

My voice toned right down, it was tender soft, and what I was about to say I couldn't of meant more.

"I love you too."

We both smiled at each other, and I pressed myself forwards and we kissed.
Soft, tender, meaningful kisses that I would of exchanged the world for.

"Marnie."

Nick breathed out as our lips came apart from each other's.

"There's no one else I'd rather be with than you. You mean the world to me, you mean everything, and I'm so lucky to have you. There is no one else you compare to..."

I stared at him.

"I'd rather be with you."

My mouth crept into a big grin, my head fell onto his shoulder and I flicked my head back to look at this casanova right in the eye.

"You have no idea how much you mean to me, without you... I'd be nothing. I'd lose everything."
My forehead fell gently against his, tears starting to sting my eyes as the salty ocean water began to grow with strength.

"No Marnie. Without you, I'd be lost. I promise you baby, I'll never leave you, ever. You will always mean the world to me, no matter what."

I breathed out in awe.

"No matter what?"

"No matter what."
He replied simply, and kissed my hairline.

"Come on you little water baby, I think it's time we got out of here."
I giggled and he kissed my cheek.

He carried me out of the water and dropped me down onto the sand carefully when we reached the water's edge.

We were soaking wet, no surprise really, what did I expect after being in the ocean?

He picked up his clothes and dried himself quickly, he was still dripping.

He then picked up his hoodie that I'd thrown onto the sand and wrapped it around me.

"Why do you insist on wearing my clothes? I'm not saying you don't look good, because well you always look good but... they are always miles too big for you!"

I looked down at his attire on my body.

"I don't care. And anyways they're most comfortable."
I said beaming up playfully at him.

"Oh really? Comfortable you say?"
He smiled at me.

All of a sudden he picked me up with such force I let out a small stifled scream and held underneath the tops of my thighs and pecked my chin as I was above his level for once.

He proceeded to tickle me all the way back up to our apartment. I couldn't do anything, I was trapped in the arms of a Jonas.

A Jonas in a Jonas, who'd of thought it?

Hey, none of your innuendos' ok?

Joe watched us stumble in as Nick threw me onto the sofa.

"Where have you two rascals been then?"
He said in a sing-song voice.

"Nowhere. Just to the moon and back."
Nick's smile gleamed over on me, and it really was out of this world.

Joe ruffled my damp hair.

"Hmm, if I didn't know any better I'd say you'd been swimming."
Joe bantered.

"Well, swimming isn't really the word."
Nick laughed.

"Yeah, Nick can't really swim can he?"
Joe chuckled.

"Wait, Nick. You really can't swim?"
I smiled, and I knew his and his brother's grin meant torture for me.

I was suddenly attacked by two Jonas' and I was unable to stop my self from laughing.

Frankie wandered in from his bedroom.

"Frankie. Back off!" I half-yelled at him as he came closer.

"This is too good to pass, the million times you get me!"
Frankie lunged forward and joined his brothers.

This went on for about... ten minutes?

We all ended up on a laughing heap on the floor.

Joe got a hold of Frankie's hand and they went into the kitchen for some breakfast.

Nick rolled over so we were facing each other.

"I'm so glad you're in this family. We all love you, you know."
Nick placed a small kiss on the end of my nose.

"I love them all too."
I smiled.

He stroked my hair.
"Want some breakfast?" He questioned me.

"I'm so glad you asked! I'm starving!"
We giggled and went to eat the most satisfying breakfast I'd had in a long time.

_________________________________________________________________________

The audience loved my set.

They love the songs.

And, oddly, and weirdly enough. I think they may love me?

Not only girls were in the crowd but guys too, which I appreciated alot because most of my stuff is real gushy and heartfelt.

But hey, I can't complain!

It was a wondrous night, simply the best time I'm had in so long.

"Marnie! You rocked it chick!"

Demi came along to see my first show.
Yes, the Demi Lovato.

She pulled me into a hug.

"Thanks Dem!" I smiled at her.

"So, how're you doing?"

"Oh I'm fine, and this show has certainly set me straight again."

"Good for you girl. Hey, wanna come to my party tonight, it's in about an hour, but you look gorgeous anyway! Meet you here?"
She handed me a slip of paper.

"Sure." I grinned.

Life was just getting better and better, like I said, sewing itself together again so fast, I must be better at knitting than I thought!

I got in my bus, and instructed Dave (my driver) to the location.
When I opened the door paparazzi cameras flashed rapidly into my eyes, I held my hand up and walked into the doors.

Everything looked so familiar, but I was sure I'd never been here before.

I spotted Demi.

"Hey, hey Miss Lovato, you look great!" I grinned and hugged her excitedly.

"Likewise babe." And she grinned her beautiful signature smile.

All of a sudden I felt I hard hit against my head.

And before I could take it the pain, I was on the floor.

I stared up, everything seemed to be spinning. My vision blurry and out of focus.

"What the hell did you do to Nick you nasty little bitch!"

I recognized that voice anywhere.
The southern twang, the gorgeous brown hair flowing from her head. The attire nowhere near suitable for someone her age.

Miley Fucking Cyrus.
_________________________________________________________________________

Comments

"Look at the fish, if you poke the... the glass they go round... move."

Everyone's drunken state was rubbing off on me, I'd only had three bottles and I'd already fallen through the trampoline springs, nearly made out with a friend's brother after knowing him five minutes, smacked someone in the face, spun the bottle and ending up kissing countless people, danced like a fool, and now, I was poking the glass on the fish tank.

Lucy joined me distressing the fish, and I then went to the toilet for about the tenth time tonight.
It was already morning really.

2:23AM.

Everyone was still going strong, it was getting freezing cold as the wind whipped through the open door where every once in a while someone would step out to talk with each other.

"Close the fucking door!"
I screamed as I slammed it shut.

Suddenly a figure stood in front of me. I was sat down on the floor beside some friends but I can't recall who.

"Hey." I said, when I hadn't even met the person's eyes yet.

"Hey, you ok?"
He had curly brown hair and dazzling brown eyes.

"Yeah." My head swayed limply in a sort-of nodding motion.
I recognized him, but there's no way I've met him before.

I pointed my finger up at him,
"Are you from ... America?" My words stuttered out.

"Yeah." He smiled, his teeth glinted in the bright light above us.

"Cool." I nodded, and gave a thumbs up and ran into the kitchen to find my play-mate Charles.

He was sat on a stool,
"Li!"
His fingers reached out spreading themselves back and forth, I wandered over to him and fell in his grip as he turned me around so I was sat on his lap.
His snuggled his head into the crook of my neck,
"You're a bit out of it aren't you?"

I faked a gasp.
"No! I'm fine, I'm completely...sober."

"Yeah right Croft." Toby mocked from across the room.

"You can't talk, your so off your face you couldn't even remember whether you kissed Gemma or not!"

His face was a picture.

"Oh yeah, I went there!" I laughed as I swayed back into Charles' grip.

He was just under two years younger than me, but he acted so much older.
He looked older two, everyone needed someone like him in their life.
Cute, straight and totally uninterested in me whatsoever.

He was so caring, sweet and adorably lovely in every way.
And I'd given him his first drink tonight. Which him and myself enjoyed a lot.

Everyone after that was a bit of a blur.

I was just talking and complaining about the cold and then I ended up on the sofa and this is where I remember everything.

I'd ended up spread on the edge of the sofa, while my American acquaintance whom I'd met earlier, was sat with my legs over him as I sobbed.

"I'm so sorry."

"What are you sorry for?"

This conversation went backward and forward for about five minutes.

"I regret so many things, I'm just so horrible sometimes... I don't want to grow up and be nasty. I'm a bad person."
My voice stuttered and bubbled as I spoke.

"It's ok, you're not a bad person."
His voice was foreign to me, but somewhat soothing.
Ugh, why did I have to make this impression?
An emotional drunken wreck?

His fingers slid through my hair and he began to stroke my forehead and trace the shape of my eyebrows.

I was so comfortable, he made me feel so relaxed. Nevertheless I was still crying, his thumb wiped away the tear from the corner of my eye and he played with my fingers and still calmly moved his fingers along the top of my head.

"We all have regrets. But I believe regrets are mistakes you don't learn from. From what I can see, you'll learn from everything you do. Look at you now. If you're telling me this it shows you care. And I have no idea who you are or what our name is, I don't know anything about you. But I can tell you're an amazing person. Don't forget that."

His fingers moved up and down the line of my body. Making me tingle all over.

"What's your name?" I whispered through my last pathetic sobs.

"Nick, what's yours?" He hushed back.

"I'm Lianna. But everyone calls me Li or Lia."
Like he need to know that!? I was just babbling.

"It's really cold." I said simply.

"Yeah." He answered.

Together we slumped down onto the floor, I reached for my flowery sleeping bag.
He reached out onto the sofa and brought down a pillow.

"Here." He put the pillow under my head. He turned his body away from me, and curled up.

Quietly, I unzipped the sleeping bad so it was now a duvet and I whipped it into the air and it rested perfectly over Nick and I.

He turned back around.
"You don't have to, it's your sleeping bag, I should have brought something."

"No, no." I mumbled, I was still drunk but I assure you, I was sobering up.

He turned back around once more snuggling closer now we were under the same blanket.

His body felt hot next to mine, his muscles bulged out of his woollen jumper and t-shirt.

Abruptly, the next two hours that came were full of on and off cold unbroken sleep.

Tom, Alex and Rachel were still pissing about and as we watched two films on the run, 'Role Models' & 'Forgetting Sarah Marshall', Nick had leaned on his back, his hands behind his head, and that was invitation enough for me to snuggle into his chest. He didn't seem to mind. At one point one arms came down to hold my hand that rested on his heavily breathing torso.

At seven in the morning, everyone had finally started to go to sleep. Whilst in those hours Tom had ran out of the house and gone down the road after attempting to take some alcohol from the family's wine rack, Jodie had gotten hysterical over knocking over a cactus, Harriet gave us all a scare when we got so worried about her because of her diabetes, which I found out that my new friend Nick had as well and comforted her about it.

My feet were so cold. Suddenly, my arm reached over his shoulder and it hung over his side. He groaned slightly, then grabbed my hand and held it tight.

We then fell asleep. Together.
_________________________________________________________________________

In the morning reality had snapped back in.

I realised exactly who I'd fallen asleep with.

His older brother knocked at the door at 9AM sharp.

No one else seemed to hear it.

I stumbled out of Nick's grip and made my way to the door. I looked at state. My dark eye make up was smudged half-way down my face from crying, and my hair all over the place like I'd been sitting on an electric fence for an hour.
I'd changed into my overly-sized Giorgio Armani navy tee, and my pink chick covered fleecy pyjama bottoms.

I didn't know if her parents would approve of me answering the door at this time, especially since it wasn't my house but whatever.

I opened the door, and my eyes flickered for a few moments.

A wide smile greeted me, along with a dark head of hair and the same eyes I'd been looking at hours ago.

"Hey sweetie. Can you get Nick? We have to go really soon."

I rubbed my eyes.

I looked over at the huge bus that was pulled up on the gravel.

Oh. My. Fucking. God.

The Jonas Brother's design was printed on the side of the car, and my eyes switched back to the one who was standing in front of me.

"Erm, yeah. Sure." My voice slurred, but the only excuse I could now give was that I was in awe. Starstruck.

The Jonas Brothers were outside.

And I'd just slept with one of them.

Not like that yeah?

_________________________________________________________________________

"I can't believe you remember it so well."
Joe smiled at me as the whole Jonas clan looked at me in awe as I told the story how Nick and I met.

Ok, so I didn't go into every detail. I certainly didn't tell them I was off my face.
Just slightly hyper...

As I sat on my fiancé, I looked down at the ring on my finger, it was beautiful.

I leant back and kissed him on the cheek. He returned and wrapped his arms around my body.

My life was bliss.

I had my family, the Jonas family, my friends, and my wonderful groom-to-be.

"I remember it too well." Nick whispered in my ear.
I smiled as my body creased up into his.

The night he propose to me, felt like the night we met.

We snuggled together, breathing in-sync.

I was now twenty one and Nick was nearly twenty three.

We gripped each others hands and sighed in unison.

Nick kissed my lips softly and then sent me off into my lullabyes with a final goodnight. Then he whispered gently, barely audible.

"Who knew a love like this could of started at a drunken Halloween party?"
_________________________________________________________________________

Comments

I kissed her forehead, and walked away from the best thing that's ever happened in my whole life. I hated that part.

I couldn't bare to see her like that. I've never seen her cry. Well I did once, but it was because she was laughing so much. She had a great laugh, I'd do anything to make her smile.

I couldn't believe what I was doing. But it had to be done. It was for her own good.
When ... IT happens...she won't be as heartbroken as she was going to be now.

She stood there for ages after I'd returned to my car. I'd sat in there just watching her. Her eyes just staring at the grass. Her beautiful brown hair whipping in the wind looked so dramatic, I wanted to run back to her and cradle her in my arms and tell her it was joke and everything was fine.
But everything wasn't fine. What was going to happen in the near future, I dread and I fear. I couldn't let Marnie be a witness to it. She needed to be rid of me.
I loved her so much.
Too much.
Then I saw her turn, and I sat still so she wouldn't notice the car.
Then, she turned back and bent down to pick something up.
The tape. Thank God.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

When I arrived home, Joe was the first to confront me.

"So, did you tell her?"

I nodded slowly. My eyes not wanting to admit the terrible thing I'd just done to my wonderful girlfriend. Well, ex-girlfriend.

"Nick, do you want me to go and see her? Just so your mind is at rest?"

My eyes averted upwards, stunned at his offer.

"That would be amazing."
I almost smiled as a flush of relief went through my body.

"But what if she asks something like why you broke up with her, I don't want to be saying anything I shouldn't."
He was right.

"Tell her, if she asks. That I was with someone else."

Joe's eyes widened.

"You sure?"
I had to be sure, it was least painful thing I could lead her on to believe.

"Yeah." I nodded and he pulled me into a hug.
He was a great brother, always there when needed.

"It'll be ok Nick." He hushed.

Only it wasn't going to be ok, nothing was.
I just hope it was for Marnie, I couldn't bear the thought of her in pain and sorrow.
After all that's why I broke up with her.
To save her the hurt and mourning.

"Tell her, to listen to a song a day, on the cassette. I think it may ease her pain. And mine too, to know that she's taking it slow. It'll be a comfort... you know?"
I quivered in his hold.

I looked out of the raindrop embedded window as Joe left to see Marnie.

A million and one thoughts riveted through my brain.

Life was beautiful, Marnie was the love of my life and I was sure I was going to spend the rest of my life with her.

But then, I was given an ultimatum. Something I couldn't say no to.
The other option would be beyond selfish and cruel.

My family respected my decision, even though they themselves were going to be put through hell when the evil ordeal reached me.

For the past week I'd known about my fate, what was to happen. I've come to terms with the fact that I had to do what I felt was right.

So, I decided to record everything I felt for Marnie onto tape.
She was the only person I could think of that still owned a cassette player, and I thought it would be perfect, so only she was able to listen to it.

Every single emotion I've felt since I'd been with Marnie, I sung about, using one song that reminded me of the best of times with her.

That song, just let her known how much she means to me, how special she was and how special she will always be.

_________________________________________________________________________

I heard Joe arrive back.

I'd been laying on my bed for hours. Just thinking about what was to become of me.

What was going to happen?

How would the public cope with it, how would they react?

Leading Marnie to believe I was with someone else, was torture in itself.

All I wanted her to do, was to forget.
So she wouldn't feel regret or guilt or anything when it came to the ...

I'm also scared shitless.

My family's life was never going to be the same. Ever again.

I didn't know how to put into words the worry and excruciating heartache I felt every second of the day.

When I had to say goodbye to Marnie, it was the worst pain I've ever felt. The pain exceeding through her eyes, that I'd never thought I'd see. She was dumbstruck, and so was I.

I just want to go back to the start. Have those feelings again, relive the precious moments I'll never get back.

The way she smiled at any mildly worthy of a grin. How her laugh differed from time to time. How her eyes glowed a beautiful shade of brown in the light. The way her body felt went it was close to mine. How she always smelt so wonderful. And how she always knew how to cheer me up.

She was the best of the best. No one I met could compare to her.
Her nature was of someone who I could only imagine about. I found it hard to sleep at night because reality was finally better than my dreams.

Marnie Eloise Jonas was part of me, like breathing. Now half of me has left my soul and I can't contemplate how to carry on.
But I'll have to.

For my families sake, and hers.

_________________________________________________________________________

Tomorrow we were off on the road again. Touring the whole of the U.S and a few dates in the UK.

It's hard trying to focus on my career, especially since Joe has only just told me about what happened with Marnie.

I didn't want to warn anybody about anything.

It would just make it harder for both me and the public. Nothing should be any different.

Sure it may come as a shock, but I don't want an interlude running up to the fateful day.

As I packed, I found a photo. It was a bit crumpled up, but I could see clear as day the memories from the picture.

_________________________________________________________________________

"Nick, come on, it'll be fun."
Marnie tugged at my sleeve and pulled me onto the largest rollercoaster in the theme park.

"I just ate." I bantered with her, smiling at her lips starting to curl.

"Well, just vomit the opposite direction to me." She giggled.

Believe me, there was no point in compromising or arguing with Marnie.
She was so stubborn, but it's one of things I love about her.

As the force of the ride made my stomach do countless flips, I held onto Marnie's arm, snuggling right up next to her as we flew around the air.

As the ride began to slow down, I leant towards her and kissed her temple.
Her eyes flickered up at me, her eyes smiling more than her mouth.

Then, ever so quickly, she bounced upwards and pecked my cheek.
She grinned, and hopped off the ride and ran towards the carousel.

"Hey you!" I finally caught up with her, wrapping arms together at the front of her torso.

Her eyes were locked on a couple, holding onto each other on a colourful and decorated carousel horse.

"You wanna have a go?" I said gently and quietly in her ear.

"Yeah." She whispered, no more than a hush as I took her hand and led her into the line.

As we went up and down and round and round, I felt her skin begin to prickle.

I leant over her and held her tight.
Our bodies meshed together, watching the world around us spinning, as if we were the only ones left.

Her chest moved up and down as she breathed heavily. Her eyes clamped shut suddenly, and I rested my head on her shoulder.

"What is it?" I asked softly.

"You." She answered simply.

"You're too perfect for words. Utterly indescribable and so beautiful in every single way."

With those words ringing through my ears, I kissed her cheek.

"I know, we've only been together properly for six months now, but I've already decided."
I whispered in her ear.

"What?" She shifted her head slightly so it leant on mine.

"You're perfect for me too." As my grin creased into her emerging smile, I felt like life was complete.

I had my wonderful family. An amazing career. And a simply perfect girlfriend.

And on that day, I realised how lucky I was, and how life had turned into incredibly cool, to unimaginable bliss.

When we jumped off our horse, (from the carousel) I whipped out my camera and held it up high above our heads.

"What are you doing?" She asked as she gripped my arm.

"Being spontaneous." I grinned.
"And kissing you." With that, I bent slightly and kissed her impeccably soft pink lips, and I clicked my camera as I did so.

"A picture?" She asked pondering.

"A memory." I replied with a smile.

She nodded and returned the smile.

As we started to walk back hope she leant on me, getting more and more tired.

"Come on sleepy head." I grabbed her belt bands on her jeans and lifted her upwards onto me. She wrapped both her arms and legs around me, and I carried her back home.

That night, we slept side by side. Fully clothed, and damp from the rain that surprised us just as we made it back.
She still smelt beautiful, and even with her eye makeup smudged and half of it running down her face, she looked gorgeous.
Her breathing rate started to slow, as she became in her dream state and I wrapped my arms around her.

"I love you." I whispered and kissed her cheek.

"Mmmm." She mumbled in her sleep a few seconds after.

It was the best 'I love you too' I ever heard.

_________________________________________________________________________

As I jumped onto the tour bus, and we drove past Marnie's house. It seemed dead almost, the lights were all off and the curtains drawn before the darkness came.

I blinked. A few tears that I hadn't even noticed that were coming, fell from my face.

My heart did a thousand beats in a second, and I laid back onto the sofa.

I breathed out.

Kevin poked his head round the door.
"Hey Nick, we were thinking of writing some new songs... you game?"

Now was the time. Couldn't of asked for a better invitation.

Comments

There he was.

His dark curls a mess upon his head, and his tanned skin wet from the rain.

"Joe?" My voice was barely a whisper. Why was he here?

My eyes suddenly started to well again, Joe's face was a sullen saddened picture, his eyes just as empty as my own.

"Marnie, I need to talk to you."
I nodded, tears falling from my face, he seemed shocked by this, I never cried in front of them, ever.

I pulled his hand so we were both standing in the narrow hallway.
I blubbered a stutter of a cry and I found myself in Joe's arms.
He gripped my waist tightly, pulling me upwards onto his body.

We manoeuvred our way to my bedroom, both resting on my bed as we recoiled from each other.

"Marnie," Joe began.
What is it with people addressing me with my name so often all of a sudden? It's not helping explain this awful dilemma at all.

"Nick has done this for your own good. He doesn't want to hurt you any further, he just wants you to carry on with your life without him. It's for the best."

I didn't understand. Nick was my world. There's nothing else I wanted... needed in my life but him. The only logical explanation is that he'd been with someone else, afraid to tell me and now wants to scurry way in shame and not face the consequences.

What an asshole. We were standing there in the rain, our clothes damp, our hair wet and our two bodies moving together as one. Well, he wanted to go out with a bang.

This was majorly unfair. If he didn't want to be with me, we could have talked it out, something that made SENSE.

"He was with someone else wasn't he?"
My voice shuddered at the thought of Nick holding someone else. Kissing another girl's lips. Wrapping his strong arms around their waist...

"Yes." Joe answered simply.

I sighed. I knew it. It's the only reason that seemed plausible.

"Then why has he given me this shitting cassette tape?"

I pointed at the cassette player that still was set on pause/play.

"I guess he thought it would help ease your hurt. A comfort. I'm not entirely sure."
Joe's voice didn't seem fully committed to the words he was saying, I'm not sure if I believed him or not, but I guess I had to, there wasn't much else in the world that I could truly believe in anymore.

"Well, he can have it back!" I half-yelled in anger and ejected the tape and brandished it towards Joe.

"No, Marnie. You have to keep it."
Joe's hands waved outwards, palms facing me. When people show their palms, it's a sign of honesty. Truthfulness, and I guess I did need to keep the cassette for whatever reason.

I placed it back in the player.

"Listen to one song a day. It'll be easier."
He said, his voice growing softer.

"Look sweetie,"
I adored it when he called me that. He was a great big brother. I loved him to pieces and was truly awesome.

"I'll keep in contact, and I know it's going to be hard. Kevin, Frankie, our parents, Big Rob, the band and I all want to keep in touch with you."

I nodded, my head falling slowly to face my crossed legs.

He cupped my chin in his hands and looked right at me. Wow. He had Nick's eyes.
Oh shut up Marnie. Nick's gone. It's all you now.

"Babe, we'll always be here for you, you're our little sister, and Frankie's big sister. You are a part of our lives that we are not going to give up as easily."

I nodded, another tear rolled down my face.
He wiped it away with his thumb and kissed my cheek.

"You'll be fine. Trust me." He breathed softly.

And I guess I had to.

We sat and cuddled each other for a few minutes before I said my goodbyes to him

"Tell the family I love them." I said as he stood at my front door.

"I will." He smiled.

I smiled my best forced smile back at him. I waved, and he did the same as he walked off into the weather which had settled down surprisingly, since he'd made an appearance at my house.

One song a day. Ok then. I've had my fill for today, but I was desperate to just listen to one more before tomorrow.

I couldn't resist. Well, could you?

I hit play.

'Hey baby, I know you know that you should be taking a break from listening to these songs. If I didn't know you, you'd be one of those people who'd be too angry to listen to anymore right now. But I know you Marnie, and you want to hear another.'

Oh my god. He knew me like the back of his hand. It was kind of strange how he'd said that I should be 'taking a break' from listening to the songs. It was just like Joe had said. Weird.

A few chords were played and his gorgeous voice erupted from the speakers.

'My darlin',
You are my life,
But I've made so many mistakes,
It's time that I,
Should come to say,
Why you make me feel this way,
And why I went,
Behind the scenes,
And dishonoured your trust,
Oh baby please,
It's not what you think,
But honesty is a must...'

My heart melted. Why didn't he just tell me? It wasn't torture listening to the song, but it broke a tiny bit more of my heart to say the least.

'We've gone through so much,
I melt at your touch,
And I hope you feel the same,'

Oh believe me, boy I do.

'We'd stand side by side,
Together with pride,
Oh, I hope you feel the same,

Oh, why is everything so confusing?
Maybe I'm just out of my mind?
But I love you,
I really do,
Please,
Don't cry...'

Too late, my sheets were damp with my tears long before those lyrics boy.

'I need you to know,
I'm sorry,
I really am,
Please,
Just fly...

My love,
Spread your wings,
It's time you flew solo,
I've been holding you back for so long,
Just open your mouth,
Scream and shout,
Tell them what your all about,

I'm sorry for this,
Whatever I've done,
I just need you to run like the wind,
And show the world,
To the world,
Sing,
Your heart out...'

He always told me he loved my voice. I'd written songs for him on the piano and guitar and he told me the lyrics were incredible.
I never quite believed him, but if that's what I have to do to forget him, then so be it.

I stopped the tape.
The phone began to ring.

"Hello?" I said, my voice still slightly hoarse from the crying.

"Hello is that Marnie Jonas?" I didn't recognise their voice, but it was man.

"Yes it is, who's calling please?"

"I'm Lucas Hunter and I've spoken with your manager and agent."

"Oh?" I said, trying not to sound to eager, but this sounded beyond exciting.

"We want you to go on a small tour for about three months, seeing how the public respond to your music, and then we'll arrange details for you to record your first album."

My heart skipped a beat. I've always wanted to be a performer, always. And now it just came along, I guess as the old saying goes.
When one door closes, another one opens.

"That sounds incredible. How is this being arranged?"

"We'll meet up in a day or two, your manager should call tomorrow and we will explain everything, I hope your ready for this Miss Jonas."

"Oh I am. Thank you so much."

"No, thank you." I heard a smile creeping in his voice.

And with that, Lucas Hunter the answer to my prayers hung up.

This was going to be awesome.

_________________________________________________________________________

FLASHBACK

Nick's eyes never left mine, even though I kept looking down at the strings on the guitar.

'Just need you to know,
I'll always be here,
No matter where you go,
Or what you fear,
I'll always be here...'

I plucked the last few strings and Nick smiled.

"Marnie, it's beautiful."
My lips formed into a smile.

"And so are you!"
He leant forwards and moved the guitar that was placed on my lap and moved on top of me and started to caress me with countless kisses.

"I freakin' love you Jonas."
I said, in between the pecks he made over my skin.

"I freakin' love you too Jonas."
I felt a smile on his kisses and it made me giggle.

He was the best damn thing.

Falling slowly for Nick Jonas isn't possible.

You fall fast, and land hard.
But luckily he's got the best safety net I could have asked for.

He picked me up and spun me around a dozen times and then proceeded to try and dance the jive with me.

"Jiving Jonas can we stop being so energetic!?" I had squealed as he twirled me around.

"Sorry, I can't stop, the Red Bull has got to me!" He laughed as he twisted me this way and that before we fell onto the the floor together.

He rolled over, found my hand and lay, peaceful on the grass.

"You love it out here don't you?"
He said quietly.

I nodded.
"Nature is beautiful. All the colours, the shapes, the music..."

"Music?" He lifted his head up to look at me.

"Yeah. Music. Ever heard the crickets sing? The wind whistle? The snowflakes whisper gently in the snow?"
I sounded sappy, but nature was amazing, I admired it a lot. And one of the reasons I like to take pictures of it. I'm a very naturistic photographer.

"You're awesome Marnie, you sound so poetic."
I couldn't tell if he was making fun of me or being deadly serious, it may have been a mixture of the two.

All the same, he rolled closer to me and his lips clamped onto my shoulder making me crease up as he nibbled my shoulder blade.

We laid there, holding each other as the bright sunshine beamed down on us.

I know, Ms Sun I know. I've made the perfect choice.

_________________________________________________________________________

Later that night, I got three texts.

The first one from Kevin:

'hey babydoll, how are you holding up?
Kev xx'

I replied,
'hey big bro, i'm not too bad. trying to just get on with it. but i've got some exciting news, call you tomorrow love you lots,
-xxx'

The second from Garbo:

'hey sweetie, keep smiling you lovely girl. we're always here for you.
x'

'thanks, your such a babe. keep rocking your socks off (:
-xxx'

And last, the third one. From Joe.

'i heard from our manager about you landing the tour(: well done gorgeous, hoping to hear your tunes on the radio soon xx'

I smiled. Life had just been ripped apart from the seams and then suddenly it's being sewn as fast as it can back together again.

'thank you beauty, and i hope so too(: i can't wait, life is just going through the roof, love you lots, -xxx'

I'm not going to forget Nick. I can't forget him.
Not with all the love songs I've written him which are heavily featured in the line-up of the tour.

Shit.

I almost forgot about all the love songs I have to listen to on the tape.

This is going to be a long tour.

_________________________________________________________________________

Comments

My eyes were red and swollen. I hadn't taken my eyes off the coloured red heart 'o' in the word 'love' on the tape.

I was on my back, laying on my bed, admiring the cassette.
I was probably the only person left to still have a cassette player, and it still being able to function.

I turned over on my front. I felt my ribs protruding through the sheets. They were also sore and ached from me sobbing so much.

I reached under my bed without looking, I knew just where it was.
I pulled out the electric pink and yellow cassette player I'd customised, and pressed the open button.

It flicked out so delicately, and looked as good as new, not as if it had been under my bed for months, gathering dust.
I placed in the tape. Hit play. And listened.

His voice sounded slightly muffled, but what can you expect on a cassette tape?

'Marnie baby,' my heart beat quickened. He can make me feel so incredible even if it is just his voice.

'These songs tell the story of why I have to let you go.'
And just when I thought I'd been dehydrated from my tears, a few more dripped pathetically from my face.

I heard him strum his guitar, and it made me picture how gorgeous he looks with it, his hands dancing along the neck of the instrument like they were born to be together, like him and I... were.

'The first song is about how you make me feel, Marnie, you have no idea how much I love you.'

Then why did you leave me you bastard?!

The song that started, was one he always used to play to me. Not him playing it personally, but I remember once, we were on a long plane ride and he kept it on a loop on his iPod as we shared the headphones.

As he began to sing the first few words my eyes started to pour again.

'Give me more lovin' than I've ever had,
Make it all better when I'm feeling sad,
Tell me that I'm special even when I know I'm not,
...
Make me feel good when I hurt so bad,
Best that I've had, I'm so glad that I found you,
I love bein' around you,
You make it easy, it's as easy as 1, 2, 1, 2, 3, 4...'

As the song continued to play, my whole body was now on a rollercoaster of emotions.

That plane journey was one of the best memories I have.
_________________________________________________________________________

FLASHBACK

Nick had a hold of both my wrists while trying to plant me with tingling kisses over the base of my neck. I was wriggling around in the window seat of the plane as he was attacking me with affection.

"Will you two love birds stop be so adorable?"
Joe had leant over our seats, ruffled Nick's hair and playfully wiggled his fingers under my chin.

"Jonas, go back to your own seat, your just jealous."
I mocked, beaming up at my annoying so-called-sort-of brother. Kevin, Joe and Frankie were all like brothers to me, we were always so close and it was always like a family.

"I will, Jonas."
He grinned at me and walked back to his seat.

It was funny how we both had the same surnames. It was just another reason for Nick and I to believe we were made to be together.

As Nick continued to make me giggle under his kisses, his sweet warm breath prickling my skin, and his curls brushing softly against my face, I couldn't help but think how lucky I am to have him in my life.
We were always together, by each other's side, day-in day-out.
Those days when we were a part were the most painful days of my life.
We could have deep, meaningful conversations and they really did mean something to us, we were able to understand each other, when no one else could. We knew when we could play around together acting like those seven year olds we once were. We understood when to be sensible and when to act all crazy and silly. It was a bond I never could never put my finger on, but it didn't matter, because it worked perfectly.

I truly had the most amazing life.

After the countless kisses, he pushed my hands down beside me resting both ours on top of each other's on the seat.
He leant forward, planting a small kiss on my forehead. Retracting slowly he looked deep into my eyes. Our foreheads met, and our noses were just touching one another's.
"I love you." He whispered.
"I love you." I whispered back.

Suddenly, his fingers wriggled around my waist, squeezing and tickling every part of my body.
As he did this, he smiled. He told me he lived to see me happy. My body, as ticklish as it was, exploded with tingles and excitement and I moved my own fingers jabbing at his waist but it had no effect. Damn him and his beautifully toned torso.
My giggling was attracting some attention from the Jonas clan. As they all walked past to their seats they smiled and laughed at the sight they saw.

When he stopped making me laugh, the buzz that was electrifying through my veins hadn't stopped. Everything he did to me was like shock of euphoria. He was like my heroin, I needed him. He was so addictive and it was scary how dependent I was on him at times.
I was independent. You know, I was able to go and buy some milk by myself, but I mean, no milk-buying trip is as good when it's with Nick.

We snuggled together, our heads resting on each others.

"It's going to be a long trip."
He said, his slight smile creasing into my face.

"Mmm. Well, it's good that I get to share it with you."
I replied, not expecting any unusual response from him.

"What?" He pulled himself backwards a bit, so we were looking at each other.

"Well, I'd rather share it with you than anyone else."
I grinned and we knocked into each other's heads again gently.
I kissed his hairline and smoothed back his curls.
He tucked my hair behind my ear and placed a small kiss on the crease of my eye.

He put on his iPod, us sharing the earphones.
We jammed for about half an hour to some amazing tunes, and then we were getting tired.

"Hey, this song is the perfect lullaby for you."
His lips stretched into a smile and he clicked onto the 'Plain White T's' album. I scrunched up my face, not really being into them that much.

The song started to play and I immediately fell in love with it.
He kept it on a loop, and by the end of it, I was singing the lyrics in my dreams.

I awoke to little pecks on my face.

"Wakey, wakey Marnie baby." I flickered open my eyes and smiled at Nick's face.

"Good to see you this happy, this early Jonas." He winked at me.

"Mmm." I mumbled I stretched out my arms and I felt his hands grip underneath me.

"What are you doing Jonas?" I said, my voice playful and drousy.

He lifted me into a cradling position and started to carry me off the plane.

"Nice baggage." I heard Kevin chuckle as he stroked my shoulder.

My eyes opened to see Joe looking right at me.

"Is little Marnie tired?" He mocked in a baby voice.

"Is baby Joey a borderline tard?" I said in the same voice, and held his chin with my fingers.

"Good to see you still have your humour in the early hours of the morning babe."
Joe smiled and pecked my cheek.

Nick carried me into a bus and we laid down together on a sofa/seat. He ran his fingers through my hair, and kissed my cheek tenderly.
Denise came through and smiled.

"You kids are beautiful. Don't let that go." And with that, she grinned widely, and walked out.

We were all so close. The Jonas family felt like they were my own.

I really loved my life.

It was brilliant.

________________________________________________________________________

'1,2,3,4,
I love you.'

As the song finished my eyes were even bigger than before, as if that was possible.

I paused the tape, and pondered around my room. The pictures that were framed of me and Nick were placed every empty space on my wall.
As a joke, I'd also framed articles about Nick and I which were totally untrue and they made us laugh when we realised how absurd they were.

But then there were two articles that Nick had always assured me were utter lies.

I stood up on my bed and brushed my fingers over them.

Miley and Selena.

'NILEY HOOK-UP'

'Nick Jonas and Miley Cyrus have been spotted together holding hands and looking very loved-up. The pair have since been seen at restaurants with each other, having fun backstage and Miley even kissing her rumoured-boyfriend on stage in one of her concerts.'

Nick told me he never thought of her in that way. She was just a friend, the pictures were nothing. She just kissed him on stage for the hell of it, to create attention.
I believed him, because I had seen the footage from the concert and Nick did nothing in return after she planted her pink sweet lips on his cheek.

'GOMEZ GRABS A JONAS'

'Selena Gomez and Nick Jonas have been caught looking very close these past weeks. Personal photos have been leaked of the pair that show clear affection and the rumours seem to becoming even more true. Will this couple admit the romance?'

Nick assured me that the photos were just a bit of fun. Nothing at all serious. They were just goofing around, nothing behind it whatsoever.
I believed him, because I'd met Selena and there seemed to be absolutely nothing going on.

I flopped back down on my bed.
I loved Nick, he was faithful to me. Always.
Just because he's left me doesn't make me any less able to love him.

Then, I heard four knocks at the door.

1.2.3.4.

I walked feverishly out of my bedroom, and made my way to the door.

The figure was tall, dark and had a mass of dark hair upon his head.

My heart beated rapidly, my throat began to dry again.

I pushed down the handle, and opened the door.

"Marnie." His voice breathed out.
_________________________________________________________________________

Comments

His kisses were soft and pure, and made my whole body tingle with excitement and adrenaline. He'd held my hands behind my back, grasping my wrists firmly but gently. He leant over my stature and took full advantage of his position. Continually, he'd plant kisses over my skin around my neck and I could have died right there and then. Slowly he dropped his hold around my wrists, and his hands danced their way along my back. As he positioned his head over on my shoulder, his fingers started to slide their way underneath my top and moved up and down my bare skin. My heart was going a thousand beats per second, the sensation he gave me was beyond euphoric. It felt like it had lasted hours, days. But only a few minutes with him felt like forever.

After our affection had come to a tragic end, he drew backward and his eyes met mine. It was weird how comfortable we felt just looking at each other like that, anybody else and I'd have whipped my head away from them.
Gradually, I felt his hands mine and intertwined our fingers, all the while we still stared at one another. Suddenly, his soft, strong arms wrapped themselves around my body. My head smothered into his chest.
I felt his warm breath tickling my ear as a gust of wind blew past us, making us both tilt. He steadied me, and whispered,
"Marnie, I'm so sorry."
My eyes shot open, they'd be shut tightly feeling safe in his hold, but this comment startled me. What was he sorry for?

"What?" I hushed in reply, my voice concerned but I tried not to sound like what he said had bothered me.

"Marnie. I'm so sorry for what I'm about to say to you."
I pushed myself off of him slightly, he tried to hold me back into my snuggled position, but I think that was an excuse to not look me in the eye.
My head craned to look at him. His eyes filled with tears. I've never seen him cry. Ever. He was always strong. Sure, when he was upset he'd be very down and mopey, but he never cried.

"What is it Nick?" My voice was filled with worry, but my tone of voice had become high-pitched and I sounded a bit angry.
A flash of guilt flickered in his chocolate brown eyes, and he couldn't look at me straight.
"Nick. Look at me." I demanded. We always promised we'd be faithful to one another, truthful, honest, and we told each other everything. And I mean everything.

He did as he was told.
"Marnie." He breathed out a huge sigh. His grip was still firmly on my shoulder as were my cold hands on his.

"I love you." He stated. That was it? He told me he loved me everyday, but this time it didn't seem to mean a lot to him. It was said matter-of-factly with no feeling or emotion behind those three little words at all.

My heart pounded hard on my chest. My stomach knotted itself. My brows furrowed and my face was pulled into an utterly confused contortion.
"Nick." I said firmly, "What is it?"

His body tensed up, I dropped my hands from his muscled shoulders. I cocked my head to the side.

"Marnie..." He began, but I was getting pissed off with the way he started every sentence with my name as if it was supposed to mean something or explain his strange behaviour.

"Stop saying my fucking name and get to the point." My voice was brash but calm. I never fight with Nick. Ever.
My abrupt comment seemed to startle him, and I did surprise myself how the words came out of my mouth.

His hold loosened on me, and soon we weren't in contact with each other's bodies anymore.

"Look. I didn't want to have to do this to you. It breaks my heart for it to end this way."

My heart sunk. The knots in my stomach tightened until I thought I was going to throw up. My eyes started to burn with tears, and my throat went dry and I was unable to speak.

He sucked in a breath, took in my reaction and carried on with his pathetic please-feel-sorry-for-me-even-though-i-am-ripping-your-heart-to-shreds speech.

"You know I adore you. We've been together forever, and I've never been happier in my life. But I'm not sure if I can go on..."

In utter desperation I found my voice again,
"GO ON? GO ON WITH WHAT? WHAT CAN'T YOU GO ON WITH? WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU? WE ARE DESTINED TO BE TOGETHER! THIS DOESN'T HAVE TO END! WHA..WHAT, WHY... NICK... WHAT THE..."
I was at lost for words.
I promised myself if I ever had a dramatic break-up with a guy I'd make sure I'd shove all my hatred in his face and make sure I'd say what I needed to. But this was Nick, I hadn't planned this break-up.

"Baby, I'm so sorry. I know, we are destined to be together. But with all the accusations floating around, these assumptions about us... I can't bear to see you being hurt anymore."

I didn't understand what the hell he was going on about. We've been in the spotlight together for nearly three years. I know what it's like to be criticized. I know how to handle the rumours and the stupid threats.

This has nothing to do with him feeling sorry for me.

"Shut the hell up." I said sternly.
His eyes blinked at me, he was scared.

"This has nothing to do with you protecting me from the media. Nothing is wrong with our relationship. We are perfectly happy. Why are you going on about something that isn't even a fucking problem?"

When I was upset or angry, I usually put up my guard, so I seem stronger and it looks like I have thicker skin than I actually do. I break down and cry many times. Sometimes it happens for no reason at all. If anyone could break me, it was Nick. But I wasn't going to let him see that.

His hands fumbled into his pocket, taking out cassette tape. His eyes snapped to mine for a few seconds, then he held out his palm bearing the tape.
I glanced down at his offering. Then I looked at him.

"What?"
My voice was close to blubbering, but I kept my defensive tone in gear.

"Take it. It explains everything, after all, music is our language right?"
He half-smiled, he was scared to show any slight emotion that he was pleased or happy.

I looked down at the tape he was holding in his hand again.
My own hand angrily slapped the cassette out of his hands onto the wet grass.
"No." I stated. My eyes were burning again.
His face was in shock, he himself looked as if he was going to cry.

"Nick you are my world, you're my everything. If you want to end this relationship over nothing then I have no fucking idea why I bothered with you."
Tears were blurring my vision, I tried to blinked and make them go away, I turned my head and fiercely wiped them away before facing my future ex-boyfriend.

"I love you." He said again. I couldn't tell whether he meant it or not. But the state I was in, it didn't matter whether he did or not. he had caused me too much pain already for me to care.

He stepped forward, he tucked a piece of my hair behind my ear and stared into my eyes as his fingers stroked my cheek. For a moment, I drifted back to how we were before. The beauty and the wonderful essence of him I'd felt for so long came back to me.
But it soon disappeared.

I snatched his hand off my face and threw it backwards into him.
"Don't touch me." I sneered. I breathed in deeply.

"Marnie, please." He begged, he might as well have been on his knees on the floor.

"SHUT UP!" My voice was loud and screeching with such force I almost had to take a step back.

"I FUCKING LOVED YOU NICK JONAS. I LOVED YOU. SO MUCH. TOO MUCH. AND NOW YOU ARE LEAVING ME FOR NO REASON. WHAT THE HELL HAVE I DONE? WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? IS IT MILEY, HUH? IS IT SELENA? DID YOU GO AND WRAP YOUR ARMS AROUND THEIR SKINNY BODIES AND KISS THEIR PERFECT SOFT COMPLEXIONS DID YOU? DID YOU?! DID YOU REALISE HOW MUCH NICER IT FELT TO HOLD THEM INSTEAD OF ME? THIS HAS NOTHING TO WITH ME, HAS IT?!"

I had never shouted that loud in my entire life. Ever. It obviously scared the shit out of Nick. His eyes bulging out of his skull. If I had even started to get like that before, he'd been holding me close and comforting me through the night. But I guess now he was no longer going to be featuring in my life anymore. Ever again.

"I don't know what to say to you Marnie. I really don't. Music is the best way I could express myself to you."
His eyes rapidly flickered to the tape, laying the blades of grass that were becoming wetter as the rain splintered down from the sky.

I stood there motionless. My eyes focused on the tape. Nick stepped forward and planted a small kiss on forehead. He bent down to my level and looked into my eyes, but mine were still on the cassette.
"Goodbye Marnie." He said, no louder than a whisper. He turned, and walked away into the stormy weather.

I gulped. The droplets of rain were becoming colder and fell faster with the second. I'd been standing there for while. Probably hours, I'd lost all track of time anyway.

As I was becoming more and more soaked, my heart started to beat again.
I'd finally come to terms with the fact I was no longer Nick Jonas' girlfriend. But I was still Marnie Jonas. Whether I was going to marry him or not.

My legs moved stiffly in the opposite direction in which I was standing and began to make my way back home. I managed five or six steps.

Before running back and picking up the cassette tape.
My fingers ran along the plastic casing.

The first thing I noticed, is that it had a white tape over it.

And what it read was quite simple. And yet so meaningful.

'Love Songs.'

The 'o' was in a heart shape, just like we always wrote each other's surnames.

I turned once again, and didn't take my eyes off the tape. I knew the route too well to crash into anything.

I'm in the breakdown.

Nick Jonas, what have you done to me?

_________________________________________________________________________

Comments

The rest of the night was a complete blur. The lights, the noise, screaming, the music. It was all too much. Too much of a reminder why I loved being on stage. I felt like I was ready to break out of this hard shell of protection and give myself away, so I could be free again. But there was nothing I could do to help myself accomplish that. I'd have to stay in this state until I could break out.

Until that person takes me under the madness, and opens my eyes again, I have no idea how I'll cope with this searing pain that tears through my body every single day.

Once again, all I remember were the lights blacking out and I stirred to find myself in a different hotel, similar layout, but different all the same.

A day later, we were in a semi-permanent house in L.A. Apparently, or that's what I thought I heard.

The guest room was neutral coloured, with a shiny black piano in the corner next to the dressing table. That's the first thing I noticed as I walked in.
"Here you are." Denise Jonas smiled warmly at me as she stretched out her arm to the vacant room.
I mumbled a murmur of a nor disagreeing or agreeing sound and started to place my things in the room.

That night after sharing a quiet dinner with the Jonas family, I slipped into my grey sweatpants and white tee and laid on top of the bed sheets. Twisting and turning over, just thinking.
Thinking about how life had changed so drastically.

My mother and father had died when I was ten. In a house fire at my grandparents house. The only people who came out alive were myself and my brother, Casper. We vowed to take care of me. Never to let me get hurt.
But now, I felt some angst and rage towards my deceased brother.
Why would he kill himself? Leave me to fend life on my own? To teach me a lesson? To help me understand my way of living more?

I didn't know. And I guess I never will.

We were at the very peak of breaking into the entertainment industry. My demos were being heard and Casper was producing and helping me write my songs and everything was just perfect.
Until he decided to end his life.
I'll never know why.

I turned over to look at the clock. It was nearly 10PM.
The house was so huge that if you set off a bomb you would only hear a faint bang seconds later.

I shuffled myself to the edge of the bed. I glanced over at the sleek black shiny piano. The way the light hit it was beautiful, and the shimmering black and white keys glistened silently. Waiting for someone to start to play a melody.

I dared myself.

I slowly walked over to the stool. Sat down.
My fingers spread across the keys, carefully placing my fingers on the right notes.
The song I'd written by myself. Without Casper. I was going to play it to him the day he died.

I hit the first few chords, and my heart jolted. I had the feeling back again. My whole mind, body and soul were suddenly resurrected and I could feel the power I was about to behold.
Music.

I gently played the song, and the lyrics slipped out of my mouth so easily. Why did I think it was so hard, it felt incredible.

"I’m not used to these feelings,
I’m used to being alone,
But every time you smile,
I feel right at home..."

The words seeped through me, I wrote this about Casper, in a way to thank him for all he's done for me. Helping my light shine and my love for music to be put on show.

"Without even touching me,
You caught me in your hands,
You should have warned me,
About your flutterby plans..."

Suddenly, I realised. This song wasn't just about my brother anymore.

"You opened my eyes,
I looked to the skies,
I can feel my wings,
And out comes butterflies..."

I stopped and breathed. I suddenly pounded on the keys and my voice grew louder and more intense.

"y skin burnt in winter,
And froze in the sun,
It’s no use fighting,
You’ve already won,
Me over,
Why don’t you come over,
We could have such fun,
Burning in winter,
And freezing in the sun..."

I wasn't taking in anything but the song, everything ele meant nothing to me anymore.

"You opened my eyes,
I looked to the skies,
I can feel my wings,
And out comes butterflies,

It’s like I’ve already taken flight,
Into the night,
No one sees what you can see,
I never knew I could just be,
A butterfly,
Ooh, I can flutterby,
Ooh, I’m a butterfly,
Burning in winter,
And freezing in the sun,

You opened my eyes,
I looked to the skies,
I can feel my wings,
And out comes butterflies..."

I softly came to an end. My heart beating steadily as I brought my hands into my lap.

My mouth was dry, and my mind felt numb.
I knew why I wanted to be a performer, I'd always known why.
I just never wanted to admit it to anyone in public.

You know, I thought they'd laugh. Because if you never did make it, then people would always think you're a dreamer, and I'd be heartbroken and disappointed in myself. I'd be ashamed.

But now I knew what I could be. I'd always known.

I'm just not sure if the public were ready for me yet.
I don't think I'm ready.

_________________________________________________________________________

Nick

Frankie was the one to awake me and inform me there was something playing down the hall.
A CD was on or something he said.

He pulled my hand and led me to the noise.
It was coming from Skye's room.

Gently, I held the door as to not make any noise.
I peeked my head through the crack.

There she was. Sitting at the piano. Again.

Her hands dancing fluently across the keys, playing an enchanting melody and singing.
That voice, that beautiful voice.

I couldn't believe she was singing. Something must have struck a chord with her. It was her own song, I hadn't heard it before.

Then she finished, almost moulding back into her old self, curling back into her body. She shouldn't have to feel that way.

She was amazing.
Skye was amazing.
Skye Singer was amazing.

I stepped in the room.
I heard her body twitch.
She flinched upright, trying to disregard the fact I'd entered the room.

"Skye?" I whispered, almost like Skye herself, who was barely heard if and when she spoke.

"Mmm?" Her mumble was quiet, but sounded sad.

"You're... amazing. Do you seriously know how incredible and talented you are?" I walked over to the piano and bent beside her.
Frankie wondered in behind me, placing himself on the bed, watching us both.

I saw a tear well in her eyes.
"Please don't cry." I begged her, my voice softly breathing into her ear.

She shot her head round. Her brown eyes sparkling with a mixture of confusion and worry.
I don't why, but I felt like I could easily become friends with her if she started to speak again, and become engaged in life once more.

"I'm sorry." She said. Her voice abnormally loud, and it was barely a hush either.

"What are you sorry for?" I asked hesitantly, half-knowing the answer already.

"I. I...I'm sorry I'm not talking. I'm sorry that I'm ignoring most of my life, and I'm sorry for not being able to see how much you've done for me. And be grateful for it." Her voice was pure and honest. And there's no way I couldn't forgive her.

A tear fell from her eyes and it painted her rosy cheeks a slightly darker shade of pink as she bent her head.

I put my hand underneath her chin, and lifted her weary head upwards so that she was looking straight at me.

Her eyes glittering at mine.

She was so beautiful.

"Skye. You needn't be sorry for anything. We're going to take care of you now, ok?"

She blubbered a sniff, "You should hate me. I've been such a nasty bitch to you, all of you." She cringed at her sentence as an after thought, glancing at Frankie but he seemed to be un-alarmed and hadn't taken notice of her curse word, not that it mattered.

"I don't hate you. I could never hate you. I'm going to take you under my wing."
She blinked.
"I don't think you ever had a choice whether you were going to be a superstar or not. The world had too much noise for you to handle, but we'll get by that. I promise, everything is going to be fine."

She coiled away slightly, her eyes searching my own.

I reached to her head, putting my fingers through her hair, stroking her face.
She brought her frail hand up and wrapped it around my wrist. A few of her tears dripping into my palm.

All at once, we both leant forward, wanting to be in each other's company.

She fell into my arms, she slipped carefully off the stool and we sat there in silence, holding each other.

She smelt delicate and pretty, her skin soft and her body thin.
I rubbed small circles on her back, comforting her. She needed someone right now, and I was going to help her get through it.

As we pulled away from each other, and I got the feeling that neither of us really wanted to. Our hands intertwined.

"Thank you." She said, louder than a whisper.

"My pleasure." I whispered in reply.
"But thank you." I said, almsot as an after-thought.

She gazed up at me.
"What for?"

"For being you. And showing me something I'd never thought I'd see. Now can we stop this mute business and can you please start to talk young lady?" I said, trying to get her playful and see if she had any humour.

She giggled quietly, and the sound was gorgeous.
She nodded, her hair swaying with her movement.

"Good." I nodded at her, and rubbed her shoulders.

I got up and smiled at Frankie and tilted my head towards the door.

"Goodnight Skye." Frankie said softly and walked out the door.

"Goodnight Frankie." She spoke back, in the same tone as my younger brother.

I pulled her up and smiled.

She smiled back.

"Wow." I said, in awe of her sparkling white teeth spreading across her face.

"What?" She craned neck to the side.

"You." I said quietly. Oh god did I really just say that? Cheesy or what?

But she grinned back at me.

"Goodnight Skye Singer." I smiled down at her. I kissed her gently on the forehead.

I felt like I should protect her, and care for her and be all big-brotherly like.
She didn't mind, and she tip-toed up and pecked me on the cheek with her soft round pink lips.

"Goodnight Nick Jonas." She gave me a weak smile and she slipped into her bed as I walked proudly out of the room.

I was going to make her a star.

End of.

_________________________________________________________________________

Comments

It was like she had a switch in her brain, controlling her emotions and feelings. But there was fault. Something in her connection that made her veins boil, something that we needed to fix.

She'd fallen into a deep sleep on the way to our venue. Apparently, it's something she does alot. When she needs to get away from it all, she sleeps.

We arrived at the hotel at 9:23PM. She'd been asleep since 11:30AM.

I really didn't want to awake the sleeping beauty, so I carried her.
It was no problem, she wasn't heavy, in fact she was incredibly light.

We got some looks as we strode into the hotel, with a sleeping girl in my arms. But I didn't care. She needed our help. I was willing to try.

We made a last minute swap with the rooms. My parents were sharing a room with Frankie, who'd watched Skye intently whilst we drove.
Kevin and Danielle were now together in their own single room.
Joe and I were sharing a double room, with us sharing one half and Skye with her own privacy in the other.
After being given the low-down talk with my parents, we made our way to our rooms.

Joe smiled at me as I set Skye down on her bed.
"What?" An embarrassed half-smirk spread weakly across my face.
"Nothing." Joe grinned. I nudged him with my shoulder.
"She's beautiful, even asleep." Joe said matter-of-factly.
I nodded. "Yeah. She is." I turned into our doorway and Joe followed me.

Tomorrow we'd get her up and lively, make sure she's having fun. Try and make her forget about her worries.
Or so I thought.

_________________________________________________________________________

Skye

The smell rose up my nostrils. My eyes shot open, only to witness flashes of red and orange inches away from my face. My heart pounded, as I stiffened backwards, trying to edge myself up against the back of bed.
The whole room was engulfed with thick black smoke. I held my sleeve up to my mouth trying to not breathe in the toxic fumes.
The sound that fire makes is terrifying. The loud snaps and crackles is not like poured milk in cereal. The bed I'd been laying on was becoming dark with colour as the flames flickered closer up the sheets.
My mouth was dry, but there was only thing to do.
Scream.
Scream as loud as possible.
But I couldn't, my mouth like sandpaper and my tongue stuck to the roof of my mouth, and I could'nt breathe. I shut my eyes closed. Wishing I could escape. Tears streamed down my cheeks, providing the only water element in the room. I felt the heat coming closer, rising under my cheeks.
Suddenly, my voice broke. I screamed.
As loud as I could.

_________________________________________________________________________

Nick

Joe and I were just mumbling to each other, almost dropping off into slumber. When a scream erupted from Skye's room.

The both of us jumped out of bed and stormed through the door connecting the two rooms.

Skye's state was disturbing. Her eyes pinned shut, her mouth screeching with stifled yells. Her body thrashing around the bed, the sheets torn from made-up corner and she was distressed to say the least.
Joe looked at me panic-stricken, he bent down trying to hold her hand.
"Skye, Skye. Hey, hey, it's ok, calm down. Skye, shh." I'd never heard my brother's voice as frightened as this before.
I myself, was speechless.
I placed my hand on her jolting shoulder.
"Skye." With her name said once, her eyes shot open.
Bloodshot and terrified.
Her eyes squinted around the room, noticing each detail from the white lily's on the shiny wooden stool in the corner, to the embroidery curtains.
Her tired brown eyes finally rested on Joe, and then myself.

"Was it a...A.. Dream?" She whispered, her voice barely audible.

Joe nodded. I stood there in awe, an ordeal that had lasted not even a minute had shown me how vulnerable she was. She was worth protecting. I knew that much.

_________________________________________________________________________

Skye

After the awkward night with my insane nightmares, the day that ensued was not what I expected.

They spoke to me, but I responded with faint head movements and quite grunts. You may think I'm totally ignorant and rude, but I didn't know how to be nice anymore. I couldn't find the old me. The me that could have a laugh at anything with anybody, that made people happy and have fun wherever I went. The person that was able to make friends with anybody.

That person was long gone.

I watched as they got up on stage for sound check. There were already hundreds of girls crowded around the stage, screeching and screaming.
"I LOVE YOU!"
"JOE MARRY ME!" etc. You know the drill.

Seeing as I was trying hard not to let my soft side show, I decided the only way I could express any emotion without it overpowering me was anger, or annoyance. So I slated every girl that caught my eye, in my mind of course.

What stupid little girls, they're just people... who have incredible talent and charisma. Who the fuck am I kidding? I was jealous that I couldn't be the one right at the front screaming their names and grabbing onto their hands at every moment I could.
Yeah right.
Did I?

There was a part of me that wishes I could be a fan again, just so I could forget about wanting my dream.
But then there's the other part of me, that wishes I could live the dream and have fans screaming my name every night, instead of me screaming theirs.

As they played their set, my eyes were set on all three of them. I didn't want to feel something towards them. But it was hard not to.

Casper believed in me when no one else did.
He wanted me to be happy, and he knew they only way I could obtain it was to be on stage, performing to my heart's content.

Casper was the best brother in the world. And for some reason, I saw traits that he had in the three Jonas'.

I was interrupted by my daydream by a soft small hand slipping itself in mine.
I looked down and saw two brown eyes staring up at me.
Frankie looked just like Nick.
I'd always had a soft spot for kids, they're just great. I gave him a weak smile, and he squeezed my hand gently.

I felt the Jonas parents stare on us both, and Danielle came over to us.

"Hey." She said softly.
I blinked.
"Hey." I said quietly, but I literally didn't really believe I even heard myself say it.

She put her arm around my shoulder softly.

"You know, if you ever needed someone to talk to..." My heart skipped a beat, my eyes started to burn again. No, this was not happening.
I shrugged her grip off my shoulder.
I uncurled my hand from Frankie's and wondered off backstage.

I didn't know where I was going. I didn't care where I was going.
I just wanted some time to myself.

About fifteen minutes later I was in a room filled with comfy looking sofa's and a rather large vending machine. I walked over to it, then my foot came into hard contact with it. I kicked it over and over again, until I couldn't stop myself. I gripped the side of it's cold metal frame, and pulled my head back and forward banging against the glass door, that separated me from chocolate and soda's of some kind.
I was sure I was in there for at least half an hour, until I felt someone's strong arms grip underneath my body and pulled me into a safe tight hug.

_________________________________________________________________________

Nick

The noise that was being created she seemed to be oblivious to, and after all three of us shouted at her to stop, she didn't seem to hear.

I had to stop her, why was she putting herself through so much pain?
Why was torturing herself? I wanted to help her so bad. She was beautiful, talented and I'm sure she had an amazing personality underneath all the mystery and odd behaviour she exposed us to so far.

As I held her in a tight hug I lifted her away from the vending machine and sat on the sofa with her. She didn't struggle. She sat limply in my arms, defeated and exhausted.

"Why are you doing this to yourself?" I asked, I didn't expect her to respond, most of the questions that you asked Skye were rhetorical.

"It's all my fault." She quivered. By this time, everyone was in the backstage room, we'd gained an audience but she didn't seem to care, or probably hadn't noticed.

"What's all your fault sweetie?" Joe bent down to her level and asked her gently.

"Everything." And with that, tears fell from her face.

I used my thumb to wipe away her tears.

Suddenly, we were called to go and get ready for our first performance.

We couldn't leave her there. Then I had an idea. No one may agree to it, but it had to make her believe again.

I grabbed her hand, dragging her along with my brothers and the band. She didn't take in where we were going or what we were about to do.

She was going to be in the spotlight tonight, whether she liked it or not.

_________________________________________________________________________

Skye

I didn't remember anything that happened before the light hit me.

I was just walking somewhere, with someone.

Then all of a sudden, my dreams seemed to of became reality.

Ear-splitting screams rumbled through my ears, my heart thumped hard on my chest. You know when a really loud song is playing, and your whole body is jolting and you put your hand to your heart or throat and you feel the jumping and vibes electrifying inside of you?
Well, it was like that.

Lights blinded me, and I saw thousands of faces staring down. I blinked.
Trying desperately to make sense of what I was experiencing.

I looked over, and saw the three boys standing and smiling at the crowd.

Then I heard Nick's voice boom into the microphone.

"I hope you don't mind but we've a special guest with us tonight." The crowd screamed. I'm guessing they were talking about me?

"Skye Singer!" Joe yelled and pointed at me. I stood there, motionless.

The audience nonetheless cheered for me, as if I was some megastar.

As they started to play their set, I sat with the band, just observing the wondrous arena and the amazing atmosphere.

I knew this is where I should be, but I couldn't do it without Casper.
Suddenly, just before my almost-happy emotions were drained from me, I felt a hand pull me up and the song that got me everytime I used to listen to it. And why they were playing it to me was kind of ironic.

"There's a lot you don't notice when you read between the lines,
The future's out of focus, when you're blinded by the light,"

As Joe held me, he blinked up at the light and smiled, and I dared to give a weak smile back.

"It's a hope for all the hopeless,
In the worst of trying times,"

It was like they were singing my life story to me, and they held my hands and gripped me tight, and I felt like a human again. With real feelings.

"I resort to being speechless,
Cause our love won't survive,
Our love won't survive."

And as I took in their beauty, essence and pure devotion.

A tiny, very small part of me...

Wanted to sing along.

_________________________________________________________________________

Comments

I don't feel anything anymore.

Just regret.

I don't say much anymore.

Just 'no.'

I don't sing anymore.

Ever.

_________________________________________________________________________

Nick

When we stumbled upon the unfinished demos in the studio, we couldn't quite believe what we were hearing.

A voice so pure and mature sounding, we were shocked to find out this beautiful voice belonged to a fifteen year old girl.

Whoever she was, she hadn't been discovered yet. Myself, and my whole family were determined to find her and give her a chance.

After weeks of research and tracking down, we finally found her.
Sitting at a piano, alone.

_________________________________________________________________________

Skye

My fingers traced gently along the keys of the piano. My breath was heavier than it had been in a long time.
I was desperate to play again. To open my mouth and express the emotions that I pretended I didn't have.

I can't feel anything. I don't want to feel anything. My stomach knotted itself every time I dared myself to believe I had any feelings left inside of me. It was slowly, day-by-day breaking me down.
It wouldn't be long before I cracked.

All this deep in thought made me oblivious other people had entered the vacant, silent room I'd been vegetating in for weeks.

As my hands danced along the piano's shiny black coat, I felt soft, warm fingers wrapping themselves around mine before I saw it happen.
Nothing surprises me much anymore.
My eyes jumped where my hands were. They looked strong and wore a ring on their marriage finger.

"Skye?" The voice sounded faint. Even though the person was right behind me.

"Skye Singer?"

I uncurled my fingers from their grasp and continued to wander my fingers across the piano keys, making sure I didn't make a sound.

I mumbled a grunt.

"Sorry, she doesn't communicate much anymore." A familiar trying-to-sound-perky-but-I-really-couldn't-be-fucked-with-this-girl-anymore sounding voice informed the strangers.

Then she went on about, about... Him.

She had no right telling everyone my life story. If I wanted to tell them I would, but I don't, so they shouldn't know.

I felt my face flush red hot with anger.

I hadn't felt anything like this before, I don't feel any positive emotion any longer.

Suddenly, my hand came crashing down on the lower end of the piano, sending ear splitting loud low notes echoing and bouncing off the walls.
I surprised myself.
For once.

I felt the silence surround me. I could feel their gaze fall upon me.
For the first time in months I uttered to speak more than one syllable.

"Shut. Up." My voice sounded different, hoarse and deep. Harsh and dark, as I spat out my words like venom.

The quiet felt like it lasted hours, not even the faint ringing in my ears filled up the dead air.

"We heard your demo." A soft, soothing voice broke in.

I let out a sigh. I didn't want to be reminded of that. I didn't want to have to let out another note of song again. Even though I wasn't really helping myself sitting at a fucking piano all day.

"You're incredible." Another voice said, just a smooth as the first but slightly deeper.

"We think you're amazing, and we want to help you..."
I couldn't, I DIDN'T want to hear anymore.

I slammed my fists onto the piano again.

"NO!" I screamed. "NO! NO! NO!" I felt my eyes burning, desperately wanting to pour out with tears.
But there was no way I was going to let that happen.
I sucked in a sharp breath.

"I don't want your help. I don't need anybody. I don't want anybody. Just leave me alone." My voice wasn't loud, or brash. It almost sounded broken and hurt. I regretted talking the instant my mouth opened.

I hadn't turned around to see who was talking to me. I didn't even want to know.

I felt a strong hand on my shoulder. Since I became ignorant to the majority of my senses, touch became stronger, and I knew it was the same person who'd wrapped their fingers in mine.

"I don't know how you feel, or what you're going through. But I'm sure I'd need someone to be there for me, helping me. You seem like a strong girl, but... I know I can't be one to judge. But I think right now, you need guidance, and my family and I are willing to help."

I didn't respond. I didn't feel any need to. Who does this prick think he is? Why would he ...

"Look. I don't know what's going through your mind, but whether you choose to believe it or not, you're no doubt downright incredibly talented. I don't care if you're the most stubborn person on earth, I'm going to help you find a way to make sure your talent is known. I don't have any idea what you must feel, or whether you choose to feel anything at all. But I believe you can be whatever you set your mind to. And you're worth more than you think."
I blinked. I listened to each word, and refused to believed what he was saying.

He sighed.
"You could be the start of something amazing."
I felt the warmth of his breath on my face and he bent beside me.
"I believe in you." And with those words, tears began to fall from my eyes. The reason wasn't because this person, whoever he was, was giving me a speech every upcoming and hopeful artist wants to hear.
But because those were the very last words Casper had said to me.

I bent my head, and the stupid-not-so-perky-anymore voice started to utter,
"She hasn't cried in months."

I felt the hand slip down off my shoulder, and their arms wrap around me. I felt safe. Again. I hadn't felt this protected, this cut off from the rest of the world for months. Maybe this is what I needed. To be held. All of a sudden the feeling was gone. I shook the grip he had of me and wiped the tears off my face furiously.

How dare he make me cry?
How dare he make me break down?
I'm not vulnerable. I'm NOT.

The other voice broke in,
"We want you to come on tour with us. To see if it will bring back any feelings you had. And if it doesn't we'll leave you at that..."
He paused.

I saw a toned, tanned arm shoot out in front of me.
"Deal?"
For the first time, I looked up at his face.
He had dark curly hair and his eyes brown and full of concern, but shone brightly in the lights that dimly lit the room.

I blinked up at him. Taking in his beauty. Then I noticed the two others standing a few feet behind him. Equally as gorgeous and stunning.

I looked at his hand, taking in everything he'd said.

My mind said no.

But my gut instinct and my stupid heart said otherwise.

My own hand lifted itself slowly, shaking and having its very own epileptic fit.

I reached his fingers, his gently touching mine. I curled my thumb over his. I tried to steady my hand, but I found that he had me covered. His muscly arm reached out and grasped my upper arm with his hand.

We both looked at each other. As if we both understood exactly how each other felt.

The feeling soon slipped away.

_________________________________________________________________________

Nick

She didn't seem to take in where we lead her. After we'd let go of each others hands she was back in her dream land again. Not noticing anything going on around her. What she must be going through, I can't fathom.
I wanted to help this girl, but she was so afraid of letting a single tear drop.

I watched her drift off to sleep. The bus bouncing up and down, her gorgeous brown hair spread across the seat she'd laid on.
She was beautiful. But I don't think she knew that.

The question was now, was going to accept our help?

I think we already found out, we'd have to force our help upon her.

Right now, what she needed.

Was a saviour.

Comments

She was hard to fight with. She was very stubborn and her voice got ridiculously loud in the process. I tried to be intimidating while standing over her small stature, but obviously that's been tried before, and she was not having any of it.

"Nick! Just because your a few inches taller than me, does NOT mean I'm going to back down mister!" She waggled her finger upwards at my face.

The argument's point was out of the window now, so I just had some fun with the little raging ball of fire.
"A few inches? Five at least!" I smirked at her.

Her mouth extended in a rounded O shape and her eyes widened.
I tried to contain my chuckles, but it was no use.

"Do not laugh at me Jonas!" She went to punch me in the arm, she's got a hard hit too, but my reflexes had become trained to the Jagger-Sucker-Punch, I caught her wrist.
She went to use her other hand but I caught that one too.
She groaned and cried out in annoyance.
"Nick!" She whined and looked at me with her puppy dog eyes.
I played along, loosening my grip as I stared at her.
Suddenly, she tried to quickly pull out of my hold to get her victory.
But I knew what was coming.

I swiftly grabbed both her wrists in one hand, and took her legs and picked her up and threw her over my shoulder.
She was very light, and it was always something I could use against her. There was no way she was throwing me over her shoulder.
"You'll be the death of me Jonas." She murmured with a hint of playfulness in her voice.
"Touche'." I replied.

I slammed her down onto the bed and leaned over her so both my arms craned over her body.
We stared at each other, our eyes just comfortably boring into one anothers soul.
She reached up and took one of my curls and wound it round her finger. Then her fingers slid round my neck, softly tickling my baby hairs.
I reached and took her wrist gently, I kissed her palm and she giggled.
"You're a softie Jonas." I loved to see that smile.
She leant up and wrapped her hands around my neck. I moved my arms around her waist supporting her weight as she held me.
"Nicholas Jerry Jonas, I love thee." She recited, softly giggling.
"You, I love more than the ocean deep, more than a baby needs sleep, more than bee needs a flower, and more than a clock needs the hour.
I love you, I do." She finished, and set a small kiss on my cheek.

"You're a soppy one you know that Jagger?" I chuckled softly into her sweet smelling skin.
"Mmmm." She grumbled.

I moved my hands up her back, tracing lines and patterns along her spine, making her wriggle and squeal softly.
When I got to the edge of her sides, where she was most sensitive, she let out a louder laugh than before. "Nick." She said between her stifled giggle.
"Not my fault you're ticklish." I stated, pulling her away from my body so I was looking right at her.
"Oh, ok then." She mocked, smiling widely and her eyes lighting up. I grabbed her waist and moved my hands wherever she was ticklish, (which was mostly all over), she laughed and tried to escape, but I was much stronger than she was.
My fingers wriggled into her ribs and she burst out into a huge laugh, and I got her under her neck which is where she becomes paralysed, and cannot move anymore. Then, I gave her mercy. She breathed out, gasping for air.
"Jeez, Jonas. Not fair." She said, but she smiled a few short seconds afterward.
I laid down, and rested beside her. Both of us on our sides and our hands locked in one another.
"You know," She hushed quietly after a while.
"I never thought I would find someone like you."
I moved my chin onto the top of her shoulder.
"But, I'm so glad I did." I felt a quiver of sadness in her voice, and leant my head over so I could see her face. A tear rolled down her cheek and dropped silently onto our intertwined hands.
"So am I, Drixie." Saying her name was like mentioning an angel. A name that you feel you should say respectfully, like she was princess. And, truth be told, she was close enough to royalty to earn that.

She turned over and looked at me with those eyes. Her finger traced a gentle line down my jaw, and then fell limply onto the bed in between us.
I reached foward and kissed her nose. She smiled sweetly, and then as if we read each others minds, we embraced into a cuddle. Our bodies leaning on each others, supporting one another.

"I. Love. You." She stuttered, she was crying.
I pressed my body slightly harder onto hers, cradling her.
"I love you too." The words came out smooth, like butter. Like I was born to recite those three little words to her.
Those three words mean too much to be thrown around aimlessly. But I really did mean them. I meant it. Every word.

That night, we just sat in comfortable silence. Listening to each other breathing. Holding hands like we were meant to be. And we were.
_________________________________________________________________________

Now, I'm stunned in an awkward sort of silence.

Nothing comforting about it.

"What?" Was all I could stammer out.

"I don't know who you are." She repeated in the same tone.

I gulped. My heart pounding violently on my chest. What was I to say?

"Erm, uh, do you know where you are?" I quivered.

"Well, it looks like a hospital." She said matter-of-factly, looking around her. Well, at least she still had her sense of humour.

"Who are you?" Her eyes shot at me, my fists clenched.

"I'm Nick. Nick Jonas." I waited, to see if she was messing with me, and she'd be doubling over on the bed saying, 'The look on your face!'.
But no such luck.

She shook her head at me, and held out her hands as if to say, 'yeah, and?'

"Drixie?" I asked worriedly, would she still remember her own name?

"Yeah." She stated simply. "That's me, Drixie Jagger."

I sucked in a breath.

"Do you know how famous you are?" I questioned, is she still the same superstar?

"What?" Her face screwed up. "Famous?" Her eyebrows furrowed and she nodded impatiently at me to elaborate.

"You're Drxie Jagger. Worldwide teenage superstar phenomenon." Her eyes looked as if they were going to pop out of her sockets.

"I'm Nick Jonas. Of the Jonas Brothers." My lips pursed.
"Your boyfriend." I squeaked out those two words.

"My, boyfriend?" She looked at me as if it was all a big lie,
"Look, no one ever wants me as a girlfriend, I'm just Drixie Jagger. DJ. DeeJ. And I'm no superstar, what, what..." Her eyes started to well up.

"What... who am I?" I felt for her, she couldn't remember anything?

"If you're my boyfriend.. you love me right?" She mumbled through her tears.
I nodded. More than you'll ever know.

"Well, then help me to remember. Help me understand who I am. Who you are, what my life is..." Tears fell off her blushed cheeks. "Please."

"Of course." I nodded once again and she motioned me to come to her.

"Nick Jonas?" She looked up at me with her big beautiful eyes. I nodded once more.
"How long have we been together?" She flicked her head, her dark brown locks swishing from her face.

"Nearly two years." I said simply.

"Wow." She said in disbelief. "What is love?" She suddenly asked.
"What was our love?" I was disliking the use of the past tense in hr questions. 'Was'. What 'was' our love?

"We're inseperable. I never thought I'd find someone like you, but I'm so glad I did." I made the point of using present tense instead of saying we 'were'. And trying to turn a lightbulb on in her head re-using the speech she made, she must remember.

"I'm sorry I don't remember." She quivered.
I placed my hand on hers as she looked up at me.

"Love is noise. A song so beautiful it's heard everywhere. You're my love. You are the music to my life." I smiled at her, praying she'd remember.

"That's beautiful." She whispered, "I think I like you already."

Even though the pain I felt was unimaginable, I smiled at her and she opened her arms for a hug.

She was the same person. She was. She had to be. It's just, trying to bring her out again. Making her the megstar she already was.

She smelt the same, the same Jagger essence I adored. Her eyelashes blinked on my cheek, we called them 'butterfly kisses.' Because it was like a butterfly's wings fluttering against your skin.

"Don't worry." I said while still holding her, "I'll help you remember.
I'll help you to remember everything."

She breathed in deeply.

"I do hope so."

With that, a tear slid down my cheek and emersed itself into her hair.

Drixie, my girlfriend Drixie Jagger.

Will she ever remember me?

Comments

As she lay there, a million and one thoughts seeped through my brain. Her hands were stone cold, and her fingers long and thin, curled limply around my own. I moved my thumb softly over her knuckles, and then brought her hand up to my mouth as I kissed it softly.
Would she ever wake up? Would I ever see those bright brown shining eyes again?
It had been just over a week, and I was beginning to fear DeeJ was more than just 'unconscious'. Even though I dread to think what it might be, it's more than likely now that's what it is.
56% of coma sufferers never awake. I'll admit that scared me a little.
I'm not scared of much, but loosing Drixie could be the end of me.

There was no one else like her.

My brothers and I were touring the UK when another performer had the same venue sound check booked. As gentlemen we allowed the other artist to go first, whilst we took a back seat and watched.

When I saw her neon attire, and the chaotic mass of backcombed madness that was her hair I would have never of guessed that she had a voice like that.
When she opened her mouth, a sound that should be possessed by someone twice her age should have, all of our mouths dropped.

The soul and passion she sang with was out of this world, and I couldn't believe that she was only fifteen at the time.

Backstage, the band immediately hit it off with her. She wasn't scary or intimidating when you're standing next to her. She was the height of five foot and four inches, fairly slender with big brown hair, and big brown eyes. Her skin, naturally tanned, and her big smile that lit up the room.

The first thing we noticed, is that she was indeed British. Her accent was beautiful and her giggle was like the angels had started to play their harps.

She was funny, very funny. Her animated face in whatever contortion, always looked stunning. She was modest, which is rare to find nowadays and I liked that about her. She was witty and intelligent, her intellect I noticed was something that split her from her rock chick persona.

She was sweet and bubbly, and it was obvious even after a five minute conversation with her, you knew it'd never be dull when she was around.
For a start, her name was Drixie Jagger, what else did you need?

What surprised us the most was her genuine and honest down to earth opinions about life. Somehow in the space of half an hour we managed to have a deep meaningful conversation about life goals and ambitions.

She told us that she had to do something very significant to be proud or feel achievement. It was clear that she was a driven and passionate young lady with a determination of a lion on the hunt.

When we had to go our separate ways we exchanged details and we let hr know if we were ever in the area again and visa versa.

Nearly just over a month after we finished touring we got a call from her manager inviting us to one of her concerts on the Sunset Strip.

Naturally we accepted, and thank the lord we did because if we'd have said no, the blossoming love between Drixie Jagger and I would have never happened.

Her show was phenomenal. Her presence on stage was out of this world and her songs evoked real and honest emotion. I found myself becoming angry, becoming sad, even crying which is rare for me! I also found myself becoming immensely euphoric and I couldn't keep my eyes off her.
A star.

After that, I couldn't help myself. We started dating.

Strangely enough, about nearly five months into our inseparable relationship, no one had bashed us. Apparently the fans thought we were perfect for each other, and I'm glad because I couldn't of agreed more.

We had this connection, and we just clicked. I'd never been so happy in my entire life. She brought out my party side which is incredibly hard to do. She made everything feel so easy, and she didn't mind the attention of the media either.
She didn't care if I had to hug a thousand screaming girls everyday, or be attacked by savage tweens that wanted my clothes.

She was never jealous, just happy that I was doing what I love.

It was hard sometimes, spending nearly a month away from each other at times. But we always found a way to see or talk to each other.

Her parents both died in a plane crash, she was an only child.

She told me she wasn't just performing for herself or her fans every night.
She wanted her parents to be proud of her, and prove to herself she could be independent and get where she wanted to be.

She proved herself alright, and I know that her parents would be exceptionally proud indeed.

What also attracted me towards her was her uniqueness. Her ability to be so different and yet so real to the world.

We had our little fights now and then. But it always ended in play fight/wrestle and she'd be giggling to no end of the floor.

Kevin and Joe were the big brothers she never had, so she said.
She got on so well with them, and my parents adored her. They loved her because she was so diverse and different and not stereotypical, and was just herself.

Frankie was extremely fond of her. She was impeccably good with kids. And she would have a go at anything, she didn't enjoy sports (so she told us) but as soon as she got out onto the field, she played like a pro.

It was funny, how she had little parts of myself and each of my brothers mixed up in her personality.

She'd just moved in with us right before her 17th birthday and my 19th.

We'd gone to set up for our intertwined twin concerts,
'The Jonas Brothers and Drixie Jagger.'

And then it happened. Out of nowhere the light set came crashing down. Knocking her out cold.

Now I sit here, anxiously waiting for my girlfriend to wake up.

I looked over at the photograph, sepia spilled with our smiles wide across the frame. Our faces together and our eyes looking deep into each others.

I was hoping and praying for her to open her eyes and to smile.

I reached down once again, intertwining our fingers together.
I held her hand to my lips and closed my eyes and wished and wished for a miracle.

Suddenly the status bar on the machine started to beep. The lines that were once steady and stable, jolted for a few seconds.

Drixie's big brown eyes fluttered open. Was this a dream? No.
I reached in a held her bony body.

As I retracted I kissed her neck gently, just how she liked it.

"I'm sorry." She whispered in my ear.

"I don't know who you are."

Comments

I awoke to a soft touch dancing along my spine. I wriggled and mumbled before turning over. His eyes shone at me.

"Wakey wakey superstar." I smiled at him, and then his teeth gleamed brightly at me.

"Wow, the gnashers have come out to bite." I giggled. He chuckled softly.

The day of my album debut.

Nick grabbed my hand and pulled me to the side.
"Mols, you'll do fine, I'm promise, just tell them what the record about how much it means to you and say your thanks and come off."

I bit my lip.
"But what if I stop or I get asked an unnecessary question or..."

He put his finger on my lips.
"You'll do fine. Just be yourself."

As I stepped onto the podium every started to become dizzy.

"Hello everyone." I gave my best smile.
"My first record is about the chaos of life and love. And how sometimes things bring you down but you have got to get past them, and how the people around you can help. Alot of the songs are very personal, but I believe everyone can get an emotion out of my songs and that they can reach out a give a meaningful message to anybody out there."
Everyone clapped.
That was it, I walked off the podium and fell into Joe's grasp.
"Mollie you did fine, now it's the opening night to rock!" He grinned at me and rocked me in his arms. He was a great big brother.

Kevin squeezed me, "I'm so happy for you Mollie, it's gonna be awesome tonight!" I squeezed his hands back and smiled. I was so excited.

The night came sooner than I expected.
I'd been comforted by the Jonas' and my other friends from the franchise who had come to support me. Alot of press were in tonight, and celebrities names who'd I'd only seen in magazines.
They were coming to see me?

I stood on stage waiting for the music to begin. Rehearsals had been intense the previous week, I'd worked my ass off so this better be a show-stopper.

The first beat electrified through the speakers. My heart thundering as the pulse continued to play. My body swayed and kicked in with the music.
I turned around at the audience, screams already erupted through the huge stadium. It was almost full. How did I manage that?

Suddenly, a piercing sound shot through my ears. I cringed. My face screwed up.
The crowd seemed uneased by this, but when I pulled the microphone towards my mouth to sing, no sound came out.

My mouth was open I was singing, I just couldn't hear it. I tried to sing again, restarting but I couldn't hear the music anymore. I could feel myself breathing. I couldn't even hear the crowd.
I turned around in panic, the band looked at me, looking just as worried I as I felt. I stumbled, trying to make sense of this world with no noise.

Everything became dark and fuzzy, nothing made sense.
I'd fallen unconscious.

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Nick:

I'd promised her everything would be fine, and now she lies in a hospital bed, without anyone knowing what was wrong with her.

I held her hand. My whole family sat in her hospital room, anxious and very nervous.

A doctor walked in, "Young Monroe here has a very rare condition. And I'm afraid to say it has something connected when she was younger. I doubt she knew or if she did was scared to present you with the problem."

I stared. What else could she fucking go through?
I looked at her, deadly pale and corpse-like.

The doctor breathed out. "We believe, Mollie has lupus."

Frankie looked up at him.
"What's that?"

"Well, lupus has hundreds of symptoms. We noticed she had swollen glands, she has rashes on her palms..."
I unfolded my hand from hers, her palms were bright red.
"We also believe she suffers from paranoia, she's had a stroke before, and this was no other than a full blown seizure. I'm just concerned it happened in front of thousands of people. We also noticed she has a recurrent fever, and a strong case of anemia cut off her hearing. We cannot explain why or how, but this is case. But she should be able to hear soon. We can relieve the symptoms, such as the fevers and the resistance for her becoming over-worked and hyperventilating and such like, but this disease is forever. I'm sorry."

My breath felt like it had been snatched away.
She was finally happy. And then this stupid disease called lupus comes along.

The doctor left the room. My parents exited to talk further with the staff, and left me and my brothers alone with Mollie.

Frankie stroked her dead arm. "Mollie, wake up. We were gonna play water polo tomorrow remember? And then Joe would get angry because we would beat him and he'd tickle you until you admitted he was the one who had really won. And then we'd eat ice-cream on the lilos and we'd throw the beach ball at each other, and then we'd party to your new album and... we'd be happy."

A tear rolled my cheek, and I looked at Kevin and Joe and their faces screwed up, ready for the waterworks.

"That's right Frankie, when Mollie is better we can do that."
We stood in silence for a while.

Abruptly, Mollie's hand started to shake. Trying to reach up to her mouth to pull off the oxygen mask, we all stood there in fear.

"I. Can, hear .... you." She croaked as she peeled off the mask that was sucking her face. I leant down to her, "Mollie."

She smiled, it was beautiful. "Nick." She beamed.
Frankie grinned and we all nestled on the bed, hugging her.

I traced my finger along the line of her torso, she wriggled slightly and giggled softly, I loved to see that smile and hear that giggle.

Joe kissed her on the forehead and Kevin bent down to kiss her nose, Frankie kissed her hand.
I leant in closer, until I felt her breath on my neck.
I kissed her lips tenderly, and she kissed my back with an even softer touch.

I pulled back slightly and looked at her.
"You're so beautiful." I smiled relieved that she could hear.
"You're so beautiful." She replied. Emphasising the 'you're'. There was no way I was better than her, she was too perfect for anybody. But I damn certain I was going to make her as happy as I could.

She sat up straight. She leant forward and we embraced, her leaning up on her knees, oh how romantic it was, my girlfriend in her hospital gown with wires attatched to each of her limbs.
But it was romantic enough, I cupped her head in my hands.

"I love you." I whispered.
She smiled, her cute face beaming.
"I love you too." And with that, my parents walked through the door.

"Mollie!" they both exclaimed and they came running towards her, hugging her close.

"I don't know what happened, but I'm going to make it up. I'm going to make this happen!" Mollie nodded proudly.

But all her hope faded away as the doctor re-entered the room.
"Mollie, it's good you're now awake." His eyes squinted.
"But I have some more news." He blinked.
"Not only do you have a rare condition called 'lupus', but we've also found another under-lying health problem."

Mollie blinked. "What else could be wrong with me?" She cried and buried her face into her hands.

"We fear that, due to the conditions in your childhood." he voice wavered.
"You may have colon cancer." Her eyes teared up, her face going red and puffy.
"If you are confirmed with the disease, you will most likely not able to have children. And, any partner you are with in the future will be at a high risk of catching a similar disease."

She broke down and she curled into a ball hiding herself within the covers and sheets. I pulled them back and sat underneath with her. Holding her close, trying to stop her from crying.

"Hey. Mollie, baby. It's going to be ok. I'll be here for you no matter what. I'll never leave your side, you know that right?"
She looked at me. Her eyes blinking rapidly.

Then she pulled me towards her, her lips coming in with contact with mine. Our passionate friendship was burning with lust and had turned into true love before our very eyes.

"There's nowhere else I'd rather be, than here with you." I hushed in her ear.

I held her, her skin burning but ice cold at the same time. She kissed my neck softly then our heads leant on each others, breathing onto one another.

"Mollie. You and Me. Nothing else matters more. You are my world."
I meant it. Every word. Of course my family meant alot to me, but she was most important now, and she needed someone, and afterall she was basically family now anyways.

We intertwined fingers, and we sat there underneath the sheets, in silence, breathing heavily, while the world outside the hospital seemed non-existant. It's was just me and Mollie. Mollie and I.

"You and Me." I whispered again.

"You and Me." She hushed in reply.

She made my life worth living. And I can only be myself when I'm with her. She was special, and she didn't know the half of it.

Mollie Monroe.

I love you.

Comments

I sat up all night trying to come to terms with the fact that the Jonas Brothers were my next door neighbours.
Not only that, but I'd been noticed by a gorgeous guy who'd I'd never imagine to even glance at me in a million years.

It was Saturday morning. Yesterday had merely felt like a dream, I didn't know what to do with myself.

I was in my white vest top, grey and navy trackies and my grey uggs, munching on Rice Krispies in front of the T.V.
My mother walked in on the phone. Probably to my Aunt Lucie, she called every two days and I missed her terribly.

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door. My mum put the phone to her shoulder and hushed sharply at me, "Grab the door Jay."
Reluctantly, I put down my cereal bowl onto the coffee table in front of me, moved my hair to one side of my neck and tried to forget the fact I was bare-faced and looked a state and my attire was utterly tragic.
Even though it was probably the mailman, I've been ordering off eBay a lot.

Without looking at the pixelated glass through the door, I pushed down the handle and looked up.

Oh. My. Freakin'. God.

"Hey. Janay right?" Joe Jonas was standing in front of me. Looking adorable in his beanie and glasses. His shirt was red and black checkered, and he was wearing tight black jeans.
My mouth moved, but no sound came out. He blinked at me, then cocked his head sideways. My brain snapped, and then I managed to talk. Sort of.
"Yeah. Yeah, erm that's right, yeah." I almost literally face-palmed myself.
He smiled, then
"Cool. My family and I were wondering if you and your mom wanted to come over for dinner tomorrow night?"
And with that, my mother dearest appeared beside me.
"That sounds lovely." She said, giving her lovely motherly grin.
Joe laughed and his mouth opened wide smiling.
"Awesome. We'll see you around four? Sunday dinner and all?"
"Sounds great, thank you very much."
Joe raised his hand and walked back around to his front garden.

When I shut the door I turned to my mother.
"MUM! What hell was that?" She stood there in stunned silence.
"Don't I get a say in this? Maybe I don't want to round their house for dinner, maybe I'd rather go and eat dinner off the street in a cardboard box?"

"JANAY KATHLEEN JENKINS! I thought you were crazy about these guys, you're a fan, you should grateful for this. Isn't this one of your life-long ambitions?"
I sighed heavily. I did want this, so much. But, it was all too much.

"No. It isn't! Yes I adore them, they are my inspiration, my idols of music. But, what if I embarass myself? Which is more than likely to happen! What if I disappoint them in any way? What if something happens? If they think badly of me I'll never be able to listen to their music again. My world of sound and pop rock will be destroyed!"
I yelled out. And slammed my body onto the sofa. My eyes welling up with tears, making the room around me blurry.

My mother stroked my forehead. "Sweetie, it'll be fine. Who knows? It could be the next big thing." I blinked, thinking for a moment.

And then I spent the rest of the day working out what I was going to wear for Sunday dinner.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Joe:

"They said yes." I announced to everyone when I returned to the kitchen.

"Great, they seem so lovely, it'll be great to get to know them now that we're here for a while!" My mother smiled widely at me, stirring her tea.

"What was she wearing when she answered the door? Did she look as beautiful as she did yesterday?" Nick burst out.

Everyone widened their eyes at him.
"What?" He said innocently.

"Well, she was wearing sweatpants, a white v top, and uggs. Happy?"
Nick blinked.

"Nick. She looked gorgeous. Even in lazy day clothes." I breathed out. She was too young for me, but I'll admit she was a cutie.

Nick nodded, murmured something then went upstairs. Frankie bounded into the kitchen, "Is that girl and her mom coming for dinner tomorrow?"

"They sure are Frank." My dad smiled at my youngest brother.

"Awesome, I can show her my darts board, and my soccer training kit and..."

"Frank, I'm not sure if she'll like ALL those things." My mother put her arm around him.

"Well, she's got to like something of mine. Otherwise, she is not accepted in this house."

Everyone laughed, "Frankie, you can't out her because she doesn't like any of your stuff." I smiled at him.
He shrugged his shoulders and went to watch T.V.

I put my arm around my mom.
"So, what's the entertainment supplies for tomorrow when the Jenkins come round?"

She patted my nose with her finger and grinned.
"Ah, you'll see. You'll be back to your youthful selves."

I smiled. Youthful selves? I like the sound of that.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Nick:

It was nearly four o'clock. I was just spraying myself with cologne before I heard the doorbell go.

"I'll get it!" I shouted hysterically as I stomped down the stairs. Everyone watched in awe as I zoomed through the kitchen and then composed myself before opening the door.

She looked more beautiful than I imagined. Her hair was brown and curly, bouncing just below her shoulders. Her eyes a gorgeous deep brown, with sparkly black eyeshadow making them look even bigger and prettier.
I stammered.
"Er, erm. Hey, hey... come, come on in." I opened the door and watched as she and her mother slid gracefully into the kitchen.

"Hello, welcome." My mom and dad greeted them with a handshake and a peck on the cheek.
She had black tights on, with high-waisted shorts and bright yellow top which a belt around her making her waist look minature, her petite shoes matching her top and a leather jacket, giving her an all-round rock chick look. I couldn't stop staring. She was mesmerising.

"Take Janay to the other room, you guys can break the ice." I navigated the way to the living room where my brothers were sitting.
"Hey stranger." Joe got up and shook hands with her. Why couldn't I be that forward?
Kevin grinned at her and did the same.
Frankie got up, eyed her up and down while she stood there smiling but playfully amused.
"We're gonna need to ask you a few questions before we know you can be trusted in this house." She laughed sweetly, and then nodded.

"Ok, Mr.Inspector, shoot." Her accent was stunning. So cultured and fresh. And she was witty too.

"What's your favourite colour?" Frankie asked her.

"Erm, well I don't really have one. Why pick one when you can have the whole rainbow?"
Wow. She was intelligent, and unique, and... I was falling for her.

Frankie nodded.

"Do you laugh easily?"

She giggled, and then nodded.

"Ok, can you catch food in your mouth after throwing it in the air?"

"I can try." She smiled. Frankie handed her a gummy bear.
She smiled awkwardly.

She flicked up the gummy bear, and it fell exactly spot-on into her mouth.

Frankie grinned. "You're very welcome into the Jonas household!"
She swallowed the sweet.
"Thanks."

My mother suddenly popped her head round the door.
"You know I told you you'd be finding your youth again today, Joe? Well, you guys go and play hide and seek!"

Janay's eyes lit up and she wriggled excitedly on the sofa. We all laughed, it was cute she was so excited to play a childhood game.

"I'll count." I said.

"Can I hide with you?" Frankie asked Janay.
"Sure!" She slid her hand into Frankie's. She was adorable. And I liked the fact she was good with kids.

After counting, I searched the house. Finding Kevin in the shower and Joe in the was basket.

The only place left was the basement.
It was fairly dark and the lights weren't working.
"Come out wherever you are!" I said.

I heard a giggle that belonged to Frankie and walked over to where the sheets were over some unused pieces of wood.

Suddenly, out of nowhere Frankie leaped out making a run for it back up stairs, Janay was behind him, I couldn't see well and she tripped and fell onto me.
She breathed out, sounding almost terrified.
"Oh my gosh, I'm so so sorry." I chuckled under my breath.
"It's fine." I grinned in the dark.

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Janay:

Oh. My. Freakin'. God.

I was on top of a Jonas Brother. Not like that yeah?
I felt my face flush with embarassment, he said it was fine but I knew I'd made a fool of myself.
He picked me off of him and held my hands so I kept my balance. He was taller than I expected him to be. Or maybe I'm just shorter?

I sighed into the dead air. "I'm sorry. Are you hurt?"
"No, I'm fine. Are you ok?"
I think I'd bruised something. My leg was hurting.
"Erm, I think I'm fine. My leg hurts a little." I started to walk but my leg gave way. But Nick caught my fall and held me up.
"Woah, you sure you're fine?" I mumbled under my breath about being fine but he stopped me in mid-grumble. A soft, tender kiss on my cheek. I breathed out. "Wow." I regretted saying it the instant it came out of my mouth.

I felt his breath chuckle softly against my face. He slowly lifted me into his arms. "You're really light."
"I'm heavy, you're just strong." I stated, trying to not to sound awkward.
"Hmmph, maybe a bit of both eh?" He grinned and with that he planted another kiss on my face, nearer to my lips.
"You know, it's usually hard for me to find myself attracted to someone this quickly." I let out a gasp.
"But you must hear stuff like this all the time."

I shook my head, "No, never. Not at all. No one ever wanted me. Never ever." I said truthfully.

"You must live near some morons then." He laughed quietly.

Suddenly, my mind reminded me of Mike. Surely Nick knew how his cousin felt? Mike liked me, and now so did Nick. What was I to do?
Nick moved his hands to my ribs and I wriggled a bit, his touch a bit too light.
"You ticklish?" He half-questioned-half-taunted playfully.

I sucked in my breath.
"Yep." He laughed and moved his fingers to my sides making me curl up into his chest giggling.
"Come on, let's go, they're probably all sat at the table by now!"
I nodded, and he helped me up the stairs.

For a moment, I forgot all about what Mike had said to me.
All that was in my mind was the intimacy me and Nick Jonas had shared
in the dark.

Comments

It was stunning, more gorgeous than I could have imagined. The air smelt warm and comforting, like I could snuggle into it. The sky was pure blue, and the few clouds were perfectly placed. Our house was huge. So much larger than my old home in England.

I had three weeks before making a fresh start at a new school, and I was excited to say the least. I was so happy, I could forget my past and how I was, and how I made to be and re-invent the real me inside.
I went out shopping with my mother, who was generous on the money side of things when I needed to buy a whole new wardrobe before school started. My room was pure white, with splashes of brightly coloured paint, and each wall of the room had a different theme. On one wall their was music notes and lyrics and pictures of my musical idols. On another wall was filled with my photography, the third was full house quotes I try to stick and live by. And the last, was full with concert tickets I'd been to. I was thoroughly proud of my personalised bedroom and made me even more excited.

Our street was very quiet. After my dad left with my brother, my mother and I had been closer than ever before.

Our next-door neighbours never seemed to be in. Probably the type of people who only come home at night or have ridiculous amounts of time on holiday.

I was starting school tomorrow, and although I'd been feeling really happy about it, my heart would not stop fluttering. Like an uncontrollable butterfly trying to get free. I just had to be myself. My real self. I know if I could do that, I'd feel real accomplishment.

The school was massive. My first worry was, how the hell am I supposed to be able to know my way around this place?

I went to reception, and just like in the movies I was going to be introduced to my form class. As if my neon blue skinny jeans weren't enough to deal with, my hair was a total back-combed chaos and I tried give my best smile to the blank-faced class.

My teacher, Mr. Kendall put his arm on my shoulder, 'Everyone, this is Janay Jenkins. She is from England and I need everyone to be helpful and supportive of her as learns the ropes ok?' I noticed the empty desk beside a rather attractive looking guy. 'You can go sit by Mike, Janay.' He pointed at the vacant desk.
Mike hadn't really been paying attention until now, and as his name was mentioned he looked up and his eyes met mine. Bright sparkling blue eyes and jet black half-spiked-half-straightened hair and a distinctive jaw line which made his lips look even more amazing.
When I sat down, I felt his gaze fall upon me, I shot a glance at him. He was smiling intently at me.
"Hey." He said silkily, under his breath.
"Hey." I replied, turning my head back to the front of the room.
Am I in with this guy already? There was no way he wasn't popular or at last the heart-throb of 10th grade.

After an hour of Mike staring at me and Mr. Kendall going on about politics, it was break.
I felt in my pockets for my pens to put into my locker, as I had P.E next. I pulled out my pen and then I felt something else in my pocket too. A note, maybe I put it in there by mistake? I opened it to see what it had on it.

'Meet me outside at the bike racks after school. I'd love to get to know you more

Mike x'

My heart fluttered.

During P.E I'd made small talk with some of the girls, but they didn't seem to want to talk for long and ended up ignoring me.

"Captains please?" Our coach Petrell barked.

"I will!" A tall, beautiful blonde girl piped up. Her face perfectly structured and it was obvious. Every boy in the school wanted her.

"Ok, Sandrine. What about you Jenkins?" Petrell eyed me up and down. I was already being called by surname? Please.

"Oh, erm, ok." I stuttered. I'm such a dork.

I didn't know half the girl's names so I just pointed, and some girls moaned when I did so.

The game started and I burst into action. Hockey was my game. All the girls cheered and high-fived me each time I scored and we were winning 6-2.

Just as I was about to score my seventh goal, I felt a sharp clank against my stick.
Sandrine.
"Look, whoever you are you better go back to where you came from. You are not welcome here you English bitch!" And with that she hit her stick against my hand, making me drop my own stick and cry out in agony.

"Amerie, take Janay to the medical room. It looks nasty." A really sweet-looking girl held my arm and helped me up the slope back into the school.
As I walked, I looked back down at the pith and I could see Sandrine talking and laughing to her team. Then she turned and looked at me.
She laughed, and then gave me the finger. I smirked, and did the same back to her with my good hand.

I sat down with an ice-pack around my hand. Then a familiar face stumbled in, the first thing I noticed was the blood dripping off his knee. "Hey." The same silky voice said. Mike.
"Hey." I smiled at him. He sat opposite me, and grinned back.
"What did you do to your hand?" He asked, pointed at the pack.
"Oh, erm, hockey stick. But some girl called Sandrine had something in for me I think." I said softly, moving my hand around.
"Don't take any notice of her. She thinks she owns this whole damn school." I half-smiled at him, and his twinkling teeth shone back at me.

"What did you do to your leg?" I asked, suddenly snapping back into reality.
"I tripped." He laughed at himself, "nothing compared to your injury."
I laughed quietly.
Silence occurred for a mere ten seconds before Mike started to talk again. "Can I see?" He asked gently, putting his finger on my arm.
I un-peeled the ice-pack and revealed my mashed-up hand.
"Oh god. That looks nasty. I'll tell you why Sandrine did that to you."
"Hmm?" I looked up at him.
"Jealously." I almost laughed at the word. Jealousy? Are you kidding me? So I said what I thought.
"Pfft, jealously? I seriously doubt that." I said scoffing as I wrapped the pack back around my hand.
"Why?" He said simply.
"What's there to be jealous of? No one knows me, I'm just the new girl and just look at me!" I put out my arms, "I'm just... nothing compared to her. Even though she's a bitch I've got nothing on her at the moment. Every guy in this school is after her." I said, my voice getting louder.

"Not every guy." Mike looked at me, both his eyes and mouth smiling.
"You know, your accent is gorgeous." He stated, without a single quiver of doubt in his voice.
My lips curled into a smile, and I murmured an embarrassed 'thanks' under my breath.
The bell rang.
"I'll meet you at the bike racks at around three right?" Mike said, getting up and putting his ice-pack onto the chair.
I nodded. "Yeah, yeah."
"Cool." He made a small thumbs up sign and walked out giving me small wave. I waved back, even though he had his back to me.

As the last bell went, my heart couldn't have been more happier. Mike was the heart-throb of the school, when i saw him in between classes, the way the girls gravitated to him and fawned over him. He had given me a small recognition sign with a wave of his hand every time we saw each other.
I saw Sandrine a lot too. I tried to blank her out of my head. Although every time I looked down at my bruised hand I felt more anger towards her.

I found the bike racks easy, and the 5'11 figure, leaning against the post beside plastic roof that covered the bikes.
He noticed me walking towards him and he pointed left, "Do you live near North End?" he asked before I'd reached him. I nodded. He started to walk out the gate, and he leant backwards grabbing my hand and pulled me forwards and then let go.
"Come on, slow poke." He laughed at me. My body shook. He was beautiful. Words could not describe how angel-looking he was. And this guy, so wondrous. Was talking to me? Whatever next!?

As we walked silently down the street, I could see my house. "Do you live at 22?" He asked absent-mindedly.
"Yeah, how did you know that?" My eyes widened at him.
"Well, my cousins live next to you and I'm going round for dinner tonight. And they were talking about meeting your mom, and where you came from. So I guessed, the only new girl in school, it must be you, right?" His eyes glittered at me.
"Right." I said slowly.

As we reached the exact line where our two houses crossed, he turned to me so we were opposite each other. Suddenly, he grabbed my hands and ran his thumbs over mine, he looked down at me as I looked up at him, wishing I could be a few inches taller than my pathetic height of 5'4.
"I really like you Janay. You seem really sweet. Not only that, intelligent and witty. And a bonus, you're stunningly gorgeous."

I blinked, trying to take it all in. "Thank you, but I don't think you're seeing the same person I do."
He shrugged.
"Maybe I'm not. But I like what I see. I'll be down here alot, I sometimes help my cousins with their music recordings."

"They have a band?" I asked, suddenly really intrigued.

"Yeah, they're really good." He said, almost trying to shy away from the subject.
"Here's my number, can I have yours?" He said, in a hushed voice.
"Sure!" I said, sounding a bit too enthusiastic.

When we'd finished typing into our mobiles, Mike smiled at me.
"Ok. Well, I'll see you around pretty lady." And with that, he planted a small peck on my cheek.

Wow. This never happened back in England. No boy ever noticed me. Ever.

He slid his grip that had held my elbow and it slipped down until it reached the tips of fingers, which made my body tingle. "Later."
He started walking to the next-door when a curly haired and rather attractive looking guy opened the door and hugged Mike.
Then another guy, a little taller than the first came out, looking similiar to Mike but his hair was slightly curlier but not as curly as the first.
Then another guy came out of the door, with even curlier hair and was patting Mike on the back. Then Mike said something and then they all turned to see me staring. Mike put his hand up to me. I did the same.
Then all three boys waved at me. I smiled.
Then I realised. Mike's cousins. They were in a band. All with more or less curly hair. All equally as beautiful as Mike. They were in a band.
Then a fourth boy came out, a lot smaller and obviously a lot younger, wrapped his arms around Mike's waist and Mike lifted him into a hug. I love guys who are good with kids.
It clicked, because that last little boy made me all the more certain it was them.

It was them.

The Jonas Brothers.

I could not of prayed for a better day.

Comments

I know you'd rather me call you Nick, but I felt it was necessary to address you with your full name, as you deserve that much at least.

I want to start off by saying how much I want to thank you and your brothers, and everyone who helped you become the incredible band sensation you are today. You inspire me and I'm so grateful that you and your music made themselves into my life, I wouldn't of got through half the things I have.

Ok, I would like to introduce myself.
My name is Rosmy. Roz-me, if you're having trouble with the pronunciation.
I'm half Italian and an eighth Scottish if that counts for anything.
I'm around five foot four inches tall, I think I've stopped growing but I want to grow a bit more to be honest with you.
I'm fairly dark, with brown eyes and brown hair, but I try to put bright colours into it if I can.
My birthday is on the 19th August and I'm currently fifteen years old.
I live in a small village just outside a town called Newmarket in East Anglia which is located in the UK. Yes, I'm from England.
I'm always wishing to break into the Entertainment Industry, and as crazy as it might sound I think I'll always believe it will happen.
I don't know where to start, I've been on stage since I three or four and never stopped loving that buzzing feeling you get. It's so hard to explain to anyone who doesn't perform, but I'm sure you can understand.
You can't control the emotion or the power that overcomes you, it's electrifying and almost euphoric in a way. That's what I live for.

Enough about me though, I want... well I NEED to tell you this. As cheesy, and as cliche' and perhaps as creepy to you as it might sound, I would very much like to express my feelings to you. For you.

There are so many places I could start, but I think it's best to start at the beginning.
I first started to get into 'The Jonas Brothers' in late 2008, when I caught a glimpse of 'Camp Rock'. I watched the movie and fell in love with everything, and that what inspired me even more.
Around the beginning of 2009, I started my frenzy. When I become engrossed with a certain someone, I research everything about them and tend to type their name into YouTube every day and search by 'Newest' so I know I haven't missed anything.
I promise you, I'm not a stalker. It's just a obsession that wears off after a while and I slow down and don't get hyped up about needing to know everything about you everyday. And it was too distracting and you made me forget about the world around me, so I tended to 'forget' to do my homework

I found out more about you guys. The history of the band and how it got started etc.

I was so intrigued by everything you did, and I wanted to be a Jonas Brother so badly. You're right, you ARE literally living the dream and I'm amazed at how humble you all are, and how you can still understand so much of the 'real' reality in the non-celebrity world. And I know your parents keep you grounded, and that's awesome and that's also what makes you seem so genuine and I think that's why people love you.
You look and seem to be able to get on with everyone and seem so approachable, and try to get rid of all the bad energy around you and just focus on the good and that's why you are so HUGE and why you are such megastars.

Time to be honest, and I'm good at that. I may not be beautiful, or hot, or incredibly intelligent but I am honest. Very honest.

I'm totally in love with you. And your brothers. I see you as brother figures and wish for just one day I could hang out with you guys and go crazy.

I've probably not watched EVERY single interview or performance you've done but I've watched ALOT.
I need to get your appearance out the way so I don't feel awkward anymore.

Your smile is gorgeous. 'Nuff said.
Your eyes make me melt, okay?
Your hair is beautiful, I'm jealous of your curls.
Your laugh makes me laugh. Uncontrollably.
When I see you, whether it be a video clip, or picture etc.
I have to smile.
You're pretty buff. I mean, you've got some beautiful biceps
You have got GREAT style.
You face was carved by an angel. As were your brothers handsome heads too!

Ok. I've always said, I need someone who's intellectual. I don't care if you can't do algebra, I just need someone who has emotional intelligence. Who understands me when no one else does. I can sit down with them and talk about anything for hours, and have deep, meaningful conversations. Boys don't talk to me much. I have a few good guy friends but the majority of them ignore me. I think it's because I'm weird. I know I'm a bit weird, a bit crazy and like to wear bright clothes and do my hair like a rocker.

If I met you, I'd be lost for words. I'd be wanting to make an impression on you, so you'd remember me. And hopefully, maybe. You'd want to see me again. But I know that's never going to happen.
There's probably a million other people thinking the same thing and you have other people on your mind you want to see.
And if you're happy, then that's cool.
Because remember when you smile, I smile.

When I play your music, it can brighten up the crappiest of days, and I imagine being with you guys. How amazingly wonderful you all are and how incredible it would be to live my life like you, or even with you.

I swear, not an obsessed Jonas freakazoid.
It's just a love for you I cannot control.

I always say,
'Chase the dream,
Not the competition.'
I try to live by that and think to myself what's the point in going through life unoticed.

I have to achieve something of such a high standard and so significant for me to be able to feel proud of myself. And I'm inspired by everything you do, how genuine and caring, and helpful you are and want to make sure people are happy. Because, everyone does deserve to be happy.

I'll be here till I die if I went through every other thing that I love about you, but I guess it's more or less time to wrap up now.

I could see myself with you, (please don't hate me, and I'm sorry if I sound creepy. Or deluded. Or something else that's related to being a freak.)
I think you'd make me really happy.
And I know I'll probably never meet you, and I have to come to terms with that, but I can still dream.

I still dream about becoming a star, and that'll always keep me going. And so will you, because you will always inspire me to do so.

There's no way I can win you over, or prove to you that we could be friends.
I can see myself having a right laugh with a group of you and the Disney lot.

I sound like such a dreamer, an idiot. Actually. I know these things are too extreme and crazy to dream for. There's no way.. or eays way of achieving it. I wouldn't know how to start.

But you've helped me to realise my dream even more.
And I'm eternally grateful to you and your brothers and like I said, anyone and everyone who has helped you along the way.

Thank you so much.

Much Luck (as if you need it though!), and love for the future,

Rosmy -xxx

P.S - I would give you my full name, but then security would track me down and kill me. So the first name is good for now yeah?

If you read this all the way through. Thank you. You're a saint to put up with my rambling on. Just to know you've read this is part of my life complete to let people know how special they are.

Ugh, here I go again... x

Comments

When Mollie came to the microphone my heart fluttered for her. Her curls bounced and shone as the lights in the room hit her face. Her slender frame seemed to fit the whole stage, my best friend was a star. I knew that for sure.

And then my heart melted, the song she was about to sing, was... for me?

Joe started to play the piano, the tune soft and meaningful.
Mollie glanced over at me, smiled, and then turned back to the audience.

"I've had these feelings for quite some time now,
And I can't help but smile,"

Her mouth extended into a small grin, and then blinked rapidly, as if she was trying to stop herself from crying.

"When you look at me,
I start to fall in love,
I'm a fool."

I smiled. Her voice was smooth and gentle, I just wanted to hold her. As she kept singing, my body started to tingle all over.

"How could I think,
You're for me?
I, I'm just another girl,"

But she wasn't just another girl. She was Mollie. Mollie Monroe.

"But there's no other,
Other way to say,
I, I love you."

Her heart stopped. I love you too Mollie, more than you'll ever know.

"You made me feel,
Like a star,
Even though,
You were so far away,

No matter where,
Or when you left me,
I still fell hard for you,

And when you smiled,
With those eyes,
I, melted to the floor,

And when we laughed,
We ruled the world,
You're second to none,"

I was crying. I never cry, ever. Joe played harder and her voice started to go insane with beauty and I was overpowered by her. I think some of the audience noticed I was tearing up, and they made 'aww' sounds. I guess they all knew who she was singing it for now.

"You gave me everything,
I hadn't realised 'till now,

You made me who I am,
And without you I don't know how,
I'd live,

My heart would be empty,
I'd give,
Everything to be yours,

Forever,
To be in your arms,
To hear you breathing,
Is my lullaby tonight,

But I,
I'm just another girl,
It took so long to see,

That I am yours,
And you belong to me,

But I'm.
I'm just another girl.
But if you listen now,

You can travel to the ends of the earth,
With me,
And you'll see,
No matter how far apart we are,

I'll still love you,
I'll still love you,
I'll always love you."

Her eyes were glittering with tears, and as soon as she finished I was holding her in my arms. The whole room erupted with cheers and 'aww's'. We were together, holding each other. Supporting each other.
I took the mic and started to speak,

"That song was amazing wasn't it?" The crowd cheered.
"I'd like to sing a song now, for my best friend here." Mollie's head shot up looking at me, her eyes twinkling.
"It's a very special song, it was written for Mollie and myself to perform. So would you like to do a duet Molls?" I looked down at her, my arms wrapped around her shoulder. She nodded, she knew what song it was, and I couldn't be happier to sing it right here, right now.

I started to sing, Mollie harmonising and joining in on certain verses. It was the most beautiful thing I've heard and seen.

"Love of my life, my soulmate,
You're my best friend,
Part of me like breathing,
Now half of me is left,"

We smiled at each other. Was I right? Were we meant to be?

"Don't know anything at all,
Who am I to say you love me?
I don't know anything at all,
And who am I to say you need me?

Colour me blue I'm lost in you,
Don't know why I'm still waiting,
Many moons have come and gone,
Don't know why I'm still searching,

Don't know anything at all,
And who am I to say you love me?
I don't know anything at all,
And who am I to say you need me?"

We ornamented together, our voices complimenting each others perfectly.

"Now you're a song I love to sing,
Never thought it feels so free,
Now I know what's meant to be,
And that's okay with me,

I don't know anything at all,
I don't know anything at all,"

I looked at her, as she sung the last two words.

"At all."

The whole room was even louder than before. The clapping and cheering didn't seem to stop for five minutes.

In that time, me and Mollie stood there. Holding each other. Joe and Kevin came over, hugging us both. We must of caused a lot of gossip that night.
But I was glad. Because I knew now.

Mollie and I.

Were meant to be.

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Mollie:

When I finished singing I couldn't of felt more euphoric. My mind was on the ritz and my heart kept skipping a few beats. Nick and I. I and Nick. Nick and Mollie. Mollie and Nick.

The next day, the tabloids were flooded with pictures from the night. I didn't care. Not one bit.

When we went out as a family, the paparazzi were mental. The flashes made my eyes go funny and the shouting and jeering from them almost made me lash out. I had to control my temper, which wasn't easy.

The following week I was signed and asked to make my first album.
My heart blew up. I couldn't believe it. I was good enough to make an album? The boys helped me right away and got me an amazing back-up band.

The next month every song was recorded, done and dustednd the album would be debuting in the next week.

Count down day one.

Nick was sitting on the bed waiting for me.
"Hey beautiful." He smiled at me and pulled me into a hug. I felt his muscles purtruding through his shirt as he did so. I felt safe. So safe.

We sat together leaning on each other.
"You're too perfect for me." I whispered softly.

"What?" He sat up and stared at me. "Mollie Monroe I'm way out of your league!" I punched him playfully.

"As if! You're a freakin' Jonas Brother!"

"Yeah so? Soon you'll be a superstar and you'll forget us all!" He laughed.

"I could never forget you." My voice was quiet.
Nick pulled me on top of him, so I was sitting up with my legs bent on on his lap.
"I could never forget you either." He sighed. "You really have no idea how amazing you are do you?" My brows furrowed, and then so did Nick's.

"Mollie, you are like no other girl out there. You're super talented, one of the most gorgeous people I've ever met. You have a heart of gold, you're strong, brave, courageous, loyal, trustworthy, funny, inspiring. And one of the best friends anyone could ask for."
I smiled. I didn't believe everything that Nick said, but he made me feel special enough to believe it for a second.
I flopped into his arms. He rubbed up and down my back, making me feel even more wanted.

"Nick?" I whispered.
"Yeah?" He whispered back.

I bottled out, I couldn't ask him. Even though it was obvious were already were in love I just couldn't say it.

"Nothing." I said, trying not to sound defeated by myself.

"What were you going to say?" Nick wouldn't let it drop, he poked my sides and scrabbled his fingers under my neck, making me become paralysed.

"Ok, ok. I'll tell you." I finally gave up.

I tried to get it out as quickly as I could.

"Well, you know... you and me. I think we should make it official, I mean there's no point in saying we're not because we are right? And we've basically already sold our souls anyways .. but hey who am I to say you love me or need me eh?"
My face turned every shade of embarassment.
Nick smiled at me, his eyes made me melt.

Nick cupped my chin in both his hands.
"I couldn't agree more." he said gently in my ear. And with that he leant in and kissed my lips.
He was so tender and soft with his touch. I had been struck with some sort of Jonas fever. I curled my arms around his neck and his put his around waist. We fell asleep together. Again.

Count down day two.

Nick admitted to the media that he, Nick Jonas was officially seeing his best friend, Mollie Monroe.

We met up with some of the guys friends and I met some of mine, old and new. I saw a tall cheeky face coming through the swarm of people at the hang out bar. David Henrie, he grabbed me and gave me a quick hug.
"I told you didn't I?" He grinned at me.
"You did indeed." I grinned back.

Everyone kept telling me how lucky I was that I was with Nick.
But I already knew that.

What surprised me the most, was that also people were telling me how Nick was lucky to have me. They haven't even seen me in my element or how I am yet! But I guess I was happy and grateful.

Five more days, and then people would really see.

The real Mollie Monroe.

Comments

The first thing we decided to do after Mollie told us the truth, was to get away. Get away from New Jersey. Not forever, but until the pain passed.

On the plane Mollie leant on me, drifting off to sleep her head flopping on my shoulder. She may be just two years younger than me, but she's the best thing that's ever happened to me. She's so mature for her age, and I guessed I realise now why she had to be. There no one like her, and not only did I did to know that I'd always have her, but I realise that she wasn't as independent as I thought. She needed support and care. She needed someone to be there for her.
The plane was ten minutes from landing, and Mollie began to stir. Her gorgeous brown eyes flickered open and met my gaze. "Nick." She croaked. Her voice was hoarse, she had hardly spoken since we left the house.
"Mollie." I answered. We exchanged a warm smile and I held her hand as the plane descended.

When we got to our other home in L.A we thought it'd be a good idea to take Mollie out. We knew she loved attention and where better place to get in than none other than Hollywood itself? We wanted her to forget what happened, and as impossible as that might sound, I was determined to get rid of some memories from her past that must haunt her day in day out.
She didn't say much. Not even when we went to her favourite stores. Not when we bought her new clothes, she whispered 'thank you' repeatedly but never saying much else.

After our night out, we found ourselves sitting on the sofa together again. Kevin and Danielle sat on a loveseat together, Joe, Mollie and I were snuggled up on the couch. We watched a movie. We ate snacks. Mollie didn't touch anything.
"Mollie, you haven't eaten since this morning and it's nearly tomorrow." Joe said concerned, looking at the clock, 11:45PM.
Mollie just mumbled and curled up further into the edge of the sofa. I reached out and stroked her cheek. She blinked at me. Showing no emotion whatsoever. "Mollie," I whispered. Before I could carry on, she grabbed my hand clasped her hand tightly around it. She looked right at me, tears welling in her eyes.
"Nick." She croaked out. Her eyes glanced over at Kevin and Danielle who had fallen asleep in each others arms. She smiled sweetly at them. Then she let out a sigh. Joe was smiling too, at the sight of our brother and his fiance'. I looked back at Mollie, her face still as beautiful even when she was upset.
"Mollie. You have to know." I took a breath. "You're not alone now. You don't have to hide anymore. We'll never let anything happen to you."
Tears fell from her face and she began to speak.

"Nick. You can't not let ANYTHING happen to me. You can't promise that. But thank you. Thank you. I don't feel right depending on you, I'm such a selfish little brat..." I put my finger on her lips.

"No Mollie." Why would she think that? Why can't she see she needs someone.
"I've always depended on you, and I think that's why you are so mature for your age. You are so special Mollie. Don't forget that. You mean the world to me. Honest to god I have no idea what I'd do without you."

"You don't mean that." She stated with no emotion in her voice. She turned her face away, but I grabbed her chin and turned it to face me.

"I do mean it. I mean every word. Without you, a piece of me would be missing. There are many things that make up my life Mollie.
Music, my family, my brothers, and you. Mollie Monroe. You are a part of my life and without you my heart would still be searching for the missing pieces to the fix the puzzle that goes together to make my life bliss. I'm so lucky that I have you. Anybody who'd hurt you, anybody who'd make you feel worthless are not worth anything. But you, Mollie. You are worth everything to me. You understand?"

Her face was streaked with tears, but she nodded, her eyes becoming squinted.
"Nick." She stuttered through her tears. "I didn't know anyone could make me feel like this. You have made me feel like a Princess today. I'm sorry I've been an ignorant bitch. But now I see. I could use someone like you. You make me feel like life is worth living. And for that I am so grateful." And with that, I pulled her into my chest. Her body moulded into mine. Like she was meant to be there. She smelt fresh and my arms wrapped around her, never wanting to let go.
Mollie Monroe was my life. My best friend. But I had another feeling, something that I've always known. It hit me hard.

Am I, and Mollie Monroe...

Meant to be ?

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Mollie:

At that moment, I knew life was worth living. The Jonas family were my family. I loved them, and I guess they loved me too.
Nick was like a dream weaver, something spectacular you only read about in fairytales. He had a way of manipulating your heart into a strong desire of lust and hope for cupid to come down with his arrow.
When I was in his embrace, it was like I was meant to be there. His strong hold was like my safety net. I felt indestructible. I felt safe.
For once I felt like no one could hurt me, touch me.

We fell asleep together again that night. And I was glad. Glad that I had something worth living for again. I was afraid Nick didn't have the same feelings I had. But I guess he did. I was sure of that.

In the morning I untangled myself from my best friend and went upstairs to find a guitar. I sat down on my bed, and started to pluck. The words just came out. The words that drowned out all the sadness. Words that expressed how I really felt about Nick Jonas. My best friend. He'll always be my best friend, no matter what happens.

Kevin poked his head round the door,
"Mollie?" I stopped playing and looked up startled.
"The song sounds beautiful. I think you should play it tonight."
I looked confused.

"What? It's nowhere near finished, and ... tonight? What's happening tonight?"

"It sounds finished to me. You've sung it over five times. And yes, tonight, we're going to the House of Blues. You've said yourself you wanted to perform there one day."

I didn't know what to say. My head was suddenly filled with memories, my father's shouting.
"You will not pursue your pathetic dream of becoming a performer it's ridiculous! You stupid little girl, why would you think you could even possibly start to become a star? Your nothing Mollie, nothing. You hear?"

"Mollie, are you ok? What do you say then? You gonna do it?"

I came back to reality. Joe appeared at the door next to Kevin, and then Danielle's head rested on Kevin's shoulder.

"Go on baby girl, I know you'd rock the house." Danielle smiled at me.

"Mollie, you've got everything. You're beautiful, you sing like a pro, and you perform like a star. There's no way you can say no."
Joe grinned at me.

I smiled, looking down at my guitar. Then looked up at the three grinning faces at my door.
"Yes." I said. Clear and confident.
"Yes, I will."

Suddenly Joe stampeded at me, lifting me into his arms and spinning me round a dozen times. I wrapped myself around him and hugged him tight.
"Mollie, you'll be awesome. Don't worry about a thing." He whispered in my ear.
"I love you Joe." I hushed. he put his hand on the back of my head and rocked me in the air.

"Put her down Danger, and by the way, we've got to keep this from Nick. We can't let him know that you'll be performing."

"Why?" I asked, why couldn't Nick know?

"Because, I think he'd love the song even more if it was a surprise."
His teeth shone at me.
I guess he was right. Was it that easy to guess that the song was about Nick? Well, it was obvious to his family.

Everyone knew about me performing, everyone from Denise to Frankie Jonas.
Everyone but Nick.

That night, my stomach turned and flipped. I hadn't been on stage in ages. It felt like I was going to throw up out of every crevice I had, and my heart was heavy.

As I watched the boys perform, I scanned the audience. I noticed loads of the Disney lot. I had become friends with some of them. David Henrie saw me at the edge of the stage and made his way over to me. He hugged me. "Mollie you look great." I felt my face flushing.
"So do you, so what's been going on?" I said, trying to keep calm, my body was tingling, I was becoming more and more nervous. A few more songs and I'd be up there.

"I heard the guys were here and I had to come. So good to see you... I hear you're performing tonight."

I stared at him.

"What? How the hell did you know?"

He tapped his nose and said softly,

"Whatever it is, Nick is never going to fall out of love with you. Girl, you're special. Don't forget that." He gave me another quick cuddle and kissed my cheek and wandered back into the crowd.

Suddenly Joe's voice boomed into the microphone.

"Erm, we have a special guest tonight. We have been friends with this little star for a very long time, before we even started the band." Nicks face was a puzzled contortion, then his mouth broke into a smile as he caught my eyes.
"Here she is, MOLLIE MONROE!" Everyone cheered.
My heart pounded hard on my chest.

I grabbed the microphone and the boys moved to the side of the stage.

"This song, is for my best friend." I started. No too obvious right?
"He has made me feel like I could rule the world, without him, my life wouldn't be worrht living. Thank you." I felt like I was going to burst into tears, the song was strong and special to me. And if I did start to cry, so be it.

As the music twinkled on the piano I had asked Joe to do, I took a breath and started to sing my love for my best friend.

Nicholas Jerry Jonas.

I love you.

Comments

I was cradled in Nick's arms on the sofa. We hadn't breathed a word to each other for half an hour. The sounds that surrounded me were quiet and soft. Denise and Paul mumbling to each other in the kitchen, Kevin rubbing up and down Danielle's arms as she sat on his lap. She was like a big sister to me now, since I never had one. She told me about boys, friends, and life in general and I was thankful to her for giving me so much hope. But most of that was gone now.
I was laying on both Joe and Nick on the sofa sideways, breathing heavily and tears rolling down my cheeks every so often. Joe was stroking my legs, helping me to calm down. Nick traced patterns on my back with his fingers and played with my hair. I was calmer. Just enough so I could speak.

"It's my fault." I whispered ever so quietly.

"What?" Nick leant towards me, putting his ear to my mouth.

"It's all, my, fault." I stated quietly again.

Joe pulled my arms so I was upright, he cupped my chin and moved my face so I was looking at him. "No it's not. Mollie you cannot put yourself through this." My face was turning red hot with anger. No one understood. No could understand. Unless I told them. And now, I guess it didn't matter whether I did or not. My parents were dead now. There was nothing they could do about it.

"Joe." I breathed out, a tear slid down my face. Joe, still holding my head with his hand, used his thumb to wipe it away.

"I have to tell you." I stammered. I moved around so I was sitting in between Joe and Nick. Denise and Paul had just come into the room, sitting by Kevin and Danielle. Frankie sat on the beanbag in the corner, looking at me with his big eyes.

"I have to tell you all the truth..." Their eyes opened wide and Nick put his arm around me.

"About what?" He asked softly.

"About him." I answered in the same tone.

Denise leant forward. "Who's him sweetheart?"

"My dad." I said, barely audible.

"Go on honey." Paul nodded at me.

I took in a deep breath,

"When my biological mother and father were married, life was, was... great. As an only child you can expect some extra attention and they gave me all the love and care I needed. More than I wanted."

I sighed. I looked at Nick, I found it easier to focus on telling one person. He blinked at me.

"One day, I was about seven or eight, that day when I'd painted that picture of you and me at the park Nick." Nick nodded, he remembered.

"Well, my dad said he was so proud of me. He had put it on the fridge and told me he wanted to give me something. Something special. Something secret. And that I wasn't to tell anyone about my present. Not mummy, or even Nick." My voice quivered when I remembered the exact words my father had said. It sent chills down my spine.

FLASHBACK

Daddy led me to my room. He told me that he had a surprise for me, and that I couldn't tell anybody about it. Not mummy or any of my friends.

"Not even Nick?" I questioned.

"Not even Nick, it's too special and secret for little boys."
It must of been very special for Nick not to know.

Daddy took two of my dolls, Barbie and Ken.
"Ok Mollie I'm going to show you my present and how proud I am of you."

I watched my Daddy as he moved the two dolls together in a funny positions. Ken's hand moving up and down Barbie's legs and then touching her body.

"Does Barbie like it when Ken does that?" I asked.

"Oh yes. Barbie has done something that made Ken very proud of her."
My eyes opened wide.

My Daddy took off his jeans and started to take off his undershorts. He gripped hold of my hands and pulled me into his face, "I'm going to show you how proud I am of you Mollie."

He reached over and turned out the lights.

He started pulling my hands towards something near his legs. Then he grabbed ahold of me pulling me on top of him. I felt my skirt being pulled off my legs and then my underwear being ripped away from my skin.
The feeling I felt was pain and hurt. My back felt tight. My tummy felt like it had exploded. And my sides felt like they were splitting apart. I didn't feel comfortable.

I didn't like Daddy's present.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Nick:

"And that's when my mother walked in. She told him she was going to report him for child abuse, they screamed at each other for what seemed like hours. And that's when it happenend. That's when he hit her. And she never got up."
Her voice started to crack. The whole room stared at her in disbelief.

"I didn't understand what happened then. I couldn't make sense of any of it. But now I can. I didn't dare breathe a word. Because I knew I'd...I'd...." I put my hand in hers.
She was now not only the most caring person in the world, she was also the bravest person I knew.
She pulled back her sleeves.

"What the fuck!?" Joe's voice filled with worry and anger.

Mollie's arms were covered in bruises and cuts. Some looked fresh, others were scabbing over. But either way, my best friend hadn't just been hurting inside all this time, but she was being physically beaten. Hurt. In pain. And I hadn't even noticed.

My mom and dad looked at her in shock and panic. She pulled up her top, and on her lower stomach she had a deep pink gash slicing into her hip bones.

"That's not the end of it."

"What more could that evil bastard do to you!?" Kevin exclaimed.

"Now you see," she began again. "Now, it wasn't just my father. It was Kathy. My step-mother."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mollie:

FLASHBACK

It was my twelfth birthday, the Jonas family had just been over, giving me my presents. Nick had given a handmade card which was awesome, and a silver heart locket which had a picture of us inside.

After they'd gone, Kathy was looking at what I had got.
"Oh, Brian. Look what Nicholas gave Mollie." My father walked in.
"Looks expensive doesn't it? How much do you think we'd get for it?"

I had been confused.
"What?" I asked.

"Shut up Mollie. This is FAR too expensive for a little girl to keep. We should sell it and get some money for it instead."

I screwed up my face.
"NO! It's my present from Nick. I'm going to keep it forever. It's special to me." I said, snatching the locket away from Kathy's hands.

Suddenly, a sharp, hard, slap shot across my face. She had hit me with so much gusto I'd fallen to the floor. She'd had the locket in her hands.

"Listen you little bitch." She wrenched her bony hand on the scruff of my t-shirt and pulled me off the ground.
"Who's bringing you up in this house? Who deserves some respect? Hmm?" he face was inches away from mine, her piercing blue eyes terrifying me into a state of sheer fear and panic.

"For your disgusting behaviour, we are going to sell your precious locket and the money made will be for us to keep the house going. You got that?" Her words stung. She spat her words like she was spitting venom.
"You Mollie. Are a worthless piece of shit!" She dropped her grip and my head crashed against the wooden floor boards.
"WORTHLESS." She screamed again. She kicked my stomach, making me double up and curl inwards. I was winded and couldn't speak.

"Say sorry to your mother Mollie." My father boomed.

As hard as I could, I started to open my mouth to try and talk,
"SAY SORRY!" He shouted again, louder and harsher.

"She's...not...my...mother." I managed to say.

Kathy had gone by now with the locket ready to sell in her hands.

My father's eyes squinted and with one breath, he started to kick me repeatedly in the chest. My throat felt numb and my stomach turned inside out.

When he stopped, a few seconds past before I threw up and coughed up a large amount of blood. He pulled my hair and forced me to look at his face.

"You are a disgrace to this family." He cursed at me. Then hit me full force round the face.

That day, I knew.

Everything was going to change.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Nick:

Listening to the horrors that she'd endured during her childhood made me want to curl up and die. How did I not see this? How did I not notice her pain? How did I become so oblivious to her hurt? How did I not spot the secrets? And now, some things became clear. And the one fight we had about her losing the locket. She hadn't lost it at all.

She carried on telling us how the emotional and physical abuse and put-downs were almost daily. How her father had made her swear not to breathe a word to anyone or he'd find her and kill her.

"And, he made me swear that... no matter how much..." She gasped. Trying to find some way to talk. I squeezed her hand, looking into her eyes.

"My father made me swear that no matter how much I liked you Nick. I was to never, ever have a relationship with you." My was spinning. Not only was she stolen from a normal childhood, but was stripped of her rights as a human being.

"He told me if I did."

She took a breath.

"He'd kill you." And with that she burst into tears again.

Everything made sense. Why she never opened up about her family to anyone. Why she could never explain some of things she did.

I held her tight. My whole family crowded round her, making her feel loved.

"You. The Jonas family, have helped me through so much. When you left for tour, I tried so desperately not to cry infront of you. You made me the good person I am today. And for that I am thankful."

So we sat on the sofa together. All holding each other.

Family.

A real family.

"Nick." She whispered through the embrace.

"Yes Mollie." I answered.

"I love you." Even though I couldn't see her face, I could tell she was smiling.

I reached up to my lips with my finger, kissed it and then fumbled my way through the bodies and placed the kiss on Mollie's cheek.

I felt her hand fumble through and I clasped it.

"I love you too." I whispered.

And eventhough the whole family heard us, I felt strong. Like nothing could beat me. With Mollie, the most courageous and strongest person I know by my side. I was going to support her in everything she chose to do. I could feel the families compassion and warm love oozing from the hug we'd tangled ourselves in.

I wasn't going to let her down.

I had to protect her.

Mollie wasn't going anywhere without me ever again.

Comments

I awoke to Mollie's light breathing and a bright flash of light peeking its way through the curtain. I'd been leaning on her all night and there was a pattern on her shoulder where my vest had been. I turned over and looked at the clock.

9:17AM.

Jeez. I never sleep in this late. I kicked back the covers and stretched my arms as I got out of bed. When I got up I turned to watch Mollie sleeping. Her hair was spread across the pillow and the duvet was bunched up either side of her, like a protection. She'd always had problems sleeping. Whether it was about the dark, or the door being kept shut, or generally just getting to sleep. I turned the lamp off and went to wash my face and take a quick shower.
When I came out with fresh clothes on, Mollie was sitting up filing her nails. I sighed playfully, "Mollie Monroe, what are you doing?"
She looked up and smiled, "Well, Nicholas what does it look like I'm doing?" She giggled.
"Sorry Miss. You are so cheeky." I said walking over to the bed ruffling my hair. She put the file down and turned to me,
"I do try." We both shared a gasp of laughter. She flopped down flat onto the bed.
"Do you want some breakfast? 'Coz I was just going to get some?" I asked.
"Oh yeah, but I've got to have a shower first, I'll be there in a few."
She shot out of bed, grabbed her clothes that were on the floor and ran into the en suite, slamming the door shut. She seemed in a bit of a hurry.
When I got to the kitchen everybody was already sitting either at the table or on the stools. "Hey honey, pancakes or toast?"
"Er, pancakes." I said with a nod.
"Go and ask Mollie what she wants." My mom nodded in the direction to my room as she flipped a pancake.

I could hear the shower running when I walked into my bedroom, I leant on the door and knocked. "Mollie?" I cooed. No answer. "Mollie?" I said a bit louder. No reply. "Mollie?" I said, my voice a bit more shouty than it had been a few seconds ago. She didn't respond. Nothing. I kept knocking but Mollie didn't say anything. Joe appeared at the door, startling me a bit. "What's going on? Why are you shouting?" I breathed, catching my breath.
"Mollie isn't answering."
"Well, she probably can't hear you."

Suddenly, a voice from down the hall called,
"Tell Mollie to turn off the shower now, the hot water isn't running!"

I turned back to the en suite door, "MOLLIE!" I waited. Nothing.
Joe moved me aside and leant on the door, "Mollie Monroe, if you do not get your skinny butt out here right now you're gonna pay!" He boomed.
No voice came from inside the bathroom.
"Oh come on, there's no way she couldn't of heard that!" Joe thundered his fists onto the door. Still, nothing.

My heart pounded on my chest. Joe was right. There was no way she could of not heard that.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Mollie:

I stepped into the shower, my tanned skin becoming darker as the drops of water splintered my body. I rubbed down my arms, dark purple circles all over them. I felt my torso, the gash across my lower stomach was still sore and under the water it looked even more pink and raw. My legs were cut, bruise, graze and scab free, apart from my upper thigh, a slight wound where the buckle of the belt had caught it.
When I stepped out of the shower, I quickly put on my underwear and oversized t-shirt before turning off the shower. But when I turned to do so, my foot slipped and my head fell onto the side of the bath. I'd soon fallen into a dark unconsciousness.
My parents were right. I was always too clumsy.

I was nothing but trouble.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Nick:

When we finally broke the door down, we had no idea what state Mollie would be in. Unfortunately, it was worse than we thought. My dad turned off the shower and opened the curtain where Mollie was half in half out. Remains of the blood from where she hit her head trickled down the bath edge. "Oh my god." Was all I managed to say. My best friend was always ok. Nothing ever bad happened to her. Ever.
The ambulance was here in a few mere minutes and Kevin rushed off to tell her parents.

I just watched Mollie's body being moved and placed onto a stretcher. "Can I go with her?" I asked. I was quivering, my voice had never sounded so shrill.
One of the medical assistants nodded.

When we got to hospital, Kevin came in after with Big Rob. His face looked solemn. "We had to make two emergency calls today." He said slowly.
"What?" I said, furrowing my brows, but never taking my eyes of my best friend in the glass room next to me.
"Mollie's parents are dead." I turned to him.
"What?" My voice was barely a whisper.
"Her parents committed suicide early this morning."
How was this going to affect Mollie? What would she do? Of course the first thought that popped into my head was that she stayed with us. We had the room, that was no problem. But they were her parents. She never spoke much about them, and they mostly kept to themselves, but... but. I don't know what I'd do without my parents.

If and when she recovered from her ordeal, how were we supposed to tell her? What were we meant to say?

The next few days were the worst days of my life. We were told we couldn't visit Mollie until she was completely stable again. It must have been terrifying for her. And, to save us the pain of telling her about her parents. A social worker had told her hours after she woke up. I'd be waiting for her. She needed me now more than ever. I was going to be there for her, just as she had been there for me.

FLASHBACK

I held her tightly, and she rocked me back and forth. "Sssh, hey." She said softly. My tears seeping through her t-shirt. "Nick, she doesn't deserve you." She held my head in her hands. "You are so much better than her Nick. So much better." She kissed my forehead and I layed on her laps as she played with my hair soothingly. "If I was her I'd be ashamed. Ashamed and embarassed that she's let go of an amazing person. You needn't worry babe. I'm always here for you, no matter what the problem. You got it?" She said and stopped playing with my curls.
I nodded. Mollie was great. She was the best friend I could of asked for. My brothers told me I should date her. She was incredibly beautiful, no doubt about that. She was smart, funny, witty, caring, sweet, understanding, and was the most trustworthy, loyal and honest person I've ever met. We go on really well, we fooled around together, like brother and sister. We've never fought about anything serious, ever. But when I try to hint at a date, she'd turn off. She just wanted to be friends. And that was fine, she was an outstanding friend. If there was a competition on being a best friend she'd win it for sure. But I did take her out places, but there was never any touching of the lips. For some reason, when you kiss someone on the lips the relationship goes from flirty to full on in the media's eyes and it didn't help being papped everywhere.
Another reason why I liked having Mollie as a friend was because she dealt with the attention. I guess she secretly liked it, and there's no shame in that. But she dismissed it, didn't care what people said and always told me all she ever wanted is to be a good friend. She didn't fail.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Mollie:

After I was discharged from the hospital all I wanted to do was see the Jonas family. I wanted to cry and cry and cry. Until I was drained of tears.

My parents were dead. I wasn't sure what to make of it. I loved my parents, you had to love your family. But I found it hard to find any sympathy in myself. The things that happened in my house, were unspeakable. I'd never want to involve anybody in what goes on behind my front door.

When I arrived back at my street, my house looked the same as it had done before, only with bright orange and white taping surrounding the outside.

I'm guessing they heard the car pull up.

Nick pulled me out of the car and held me tightly in his arms. I started to bawl into his shoulder as he rubbed my back. "It's going to be ok Mollie. I promise you." He hushed into my ear.

I lifted my head back so I looked him right in the eyes. "I'm so sorry," I spluttered out, "I'm so..sorry. I'm sorry I'm nothing but trouble."

Nick clasped my head and forced me into an embrace and I felt a tear dampen on my back. "Don't you dare say you're sorry. None of this is your fault. Don't you dare believe for one second this is your fault."

But the thing was, I had to dare. Maybe it was all my fault. Maybe I was the reason for this tragedy.

For one second, I dared to believe this was all my fault.

Comments

We'd just finished out last concert and we were heading back home. I couldn't wait to see Mollie. She always made me feel happy, no matter what mood I was in beforehand, she never let me go until I was smiling.

As we pulled up outside our house, Mollie's front door opened. She peeked her head out. A smile emerged from her face and she was grinning from ear to ear.

"You're back!" She squealed as she leaped into my arms. I spun her around and held her tightly in mid-air.
"Little Miss Mollie!" Joe cried as he walked over to us. I let her down and she hugged Joe.
"Joseph Adam Jonas! What have you done to your hair!? " She exclaimed, pulling on a curly strand of hair. Joe looked at her, half serious, half playful. Suddenly he grabbed her waist and turned her around, tickling her sides. She doubled over, trying to escape from my brothers strong hands. "Hey, hey... Jooo...seph!" She couldn't control herself and was giggling really hard. Kevin laughed at the sight as he came over and I joined him. Finally, Joe stopped attacking her and lifted her up, holding her underneath her thighs. "I missed your laugh Mollie." Joe smiled. She grinned back at him, then smacked his shoulder, "What was that for? You could of told me about Kevin and the banana again, that would of..." But she was already cracking up at the story.
"Very funny Mols." Kevin cringed, he was still embarassed. Joe let go of Mollie and she ran into Kevin. "Have you gotten taller?" She asked him, fiddling with the accessory buttons on his shirt.
"No." Kevin chuckled, "Have you gotten shorter?" Mollie opened her mouth widely, but still playing along,
"No, actually. I've grown half an inch. I'm now the almighty height of five foot and four inches." I laughed at her ahcievement and put my arm around her, smiling, "You're still short." She glared at me jokingly, then punched my arm.
"I know." We all went into fits of laughter.

"Come on, let's have Mollie over for dinner." My mother shouted and we all started to walk into our home we hadn't seen in over half a year.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mollie:

"So Mollie, how's school going?" Paul asked me, chewing on some steak.
I hated school. With a passion. I had no friends. Well, I did, but they weren't the sort of people I could trust.
"Oh, you know. As good as schools go." I decided I wasn't happy with my answer so I carried on, trying to make it look like I was happy.
"Drama is awesome. I love it. And English is great, I love writing. And well, Music is just... great." I winced a little. Music was great, when I was with Mr.Tunelock. He inspired me so much, he complimented every song I wrote and every chord I played. Not to mention, when I told him I got into music after the Jonas boys showed me how to rock it, he told me he a big fan of their music. It was my last year. I was one of the youngest and I didn't turn sixteen until I left for Summer break.

"Really?" Nick's lit up. "You write any new songs?" he asked.

"Loads...but they're not that good." I said half smiling. They weren't amazing, just little ideas that came out of my mouth and ended up on paper.
"I bet they are!" Kevin grinned across the table. I shook my head embarassedly.
We finished eating and Paul and Denise went to put Frankie to bed and went to watch a movie together in their room.

"Frankie's grown so much!" I cried, when we were all snuggled up on the sofa together.
"Yeah." They all chimed together like clockwork.
"You still look sixteen." Joe said out of the blue.
"What?" I laughed.
"You have looked sixteen since you were fourteen!" Joe put his arm around me and kissed my forehead and then put his arm back next to Kevin's.
"Let's hear some of these songs then!" Kevin jumped up reaching for the nearest guitar, then handing it to me.
I sighed. "Look guys, they're not..."
"Just play you little rockstar." Nick winked at me. His eyes made me melt. I could never keep my eyes off him. I did it carefully, so no one noticed, but he was mesmerising.
I started to play,

"Listen to me,
To what I have to say,
I never wanted,
To hurt you this way,
But the time has come,
To let it all out, and
Tell you the truth..."

My voice wobbled, this was the wrong song to sing. It was too personal, eventhough I told the boys everything. I almost sold my soul. The boys didn't seem to notice, eventhough their expects at analysing songs, so I carried on. Trying not to make it too obvious I'd regretting what I was singing.

"You gave me it all,
You made me so strong,
You showed me the light,
So nothing seemed wrong,

You helped me to breathe,
And let go of my fear,
So I need to be honest,
And tell you right here..."

The boys just stared at me, all smiling but intensely focused at the same time.

"Some things have happened,
That I don't want to say,
Like a broken record,
It don't want to play,

All my life,
I've told you,
That's everything's ok,
But right here, right now,
I just gotta say..."

I took in a breath.

"I hid it away,
So you couldn't see,
The pain that was tearing,
And seeping through me,

When I did smile,
I was crying inside,
And when I laughed,
It always felt like a lie,
And I never wanted,
For it to come to this,
So I pretended I was happy...

..And faked life was bliss."

"Wow. That was one powerful song Little Miss." Nick said, shaking his head in disbelief. I wondered if he knew what it was really about?
I placed guitar down. We all sat in stunned silence for what felt like forever. I was stretched out so my back was flat on the sofa and my legs bent over the edge.
After a while, I felt a light touch tracing around my stomach. I giggled, and looked up and saw Nick with one hand on my torso and the other flicking channels on the remote. He always used to do this to help me relax. I found it so soothing. But he was being to light with his fingers it tickled too much, so I burst out with laughter. Nick looked at me and squeezed my side and laughed. We then intertwined fingers and I sat up. Kevin was half-asleep, and Joe was just tiredly focused on the T.V.

After another ten minutes we decided we should go to bed. We woke up Kevin and Joe from their half sleep, half daydream and we trudged up the stairs.

"Night Mollie."

"Night Kevin."

"Night Mollie."

"Night Joe." I whispered back.

Nick and I always shared a room. There was no funny business, he'd just always had two bed in his bedroom, both placed side by side. I slipped into the en suite and changed into my 'emergency pj's' I kept round the house and jumped into the bed. Nick was propped up in his sweat pants and white vest top.
"Woah, Jonas. You've got some muscles on you now!" I reached across, squeezing his biceps. Nick laughed,
"And look at you, Monroe. You still got nothing on you!" He said, grabbing at my ribs. I'd always been slender. I ate what I wanted, when I wanted, I'd never gained too much or lost too much weight. As of the moment I weighed 106lbs. And that's was how it was going to stay. I'd been warned.

"Actually," I said, laughing. "Check these babies out!" I flexed my biceps and I had a impressive lot of muscle for a girl. Nick chuckled and squeezed my arm. "Not bad." He said, still smiling with both his eyes and lips.

"Mollie?" His voice was hesitant, I was worried what he was going to ask.

I nodded. "Yeah?"

"That song, what was it about? What made you write it?" My stomach dropped, then tied itself it knots. My throat became dry and a sweep of fear electricuted through my body.

"Erm, it was just a story. I wrote a story in creative writing about this girl with all these secrets and stuff, so I thought I'd write a song about it to inspire me a bit more." It wasn't a complete lie.
I had written a story about a girl who had secrets. But the lie was, it wasn't just a story.

"Oh." Nick said, sounding a little disappointed with my answer, but didn't question it any further.

I turned over and grasped my pillow. Suddenly I whipped my head around. I got up and closed the door shut. Nick observed me as I did this. It was usual for me to want the door completely closed. I've never told him why, he just accepted it.
As I got back into the bed I held my pillow. I felt Nick's gaze fall upon me. "Do you want me to turn off the light?" He asked quietly.
"No."
I had a fear of the dark. I was truly terrified by it. I know it's just like in the day, but you never know what's hiding in the shadows.
Just as I closed my eyes, I felt a hand wrapping around my waist.
I breathed out. "Nick Jonas. What do you want?" I said, laughing.

"What? Can't I hug my best friend?"
Best friends. That's what we were. And that's how it was always going to stay.
He put his head on my shoulder and leant the left side of his body on mine. His feet were cold, and I shuddered away from them underneath the covers. He laughed and trapped my feet in his so I couldn't move.
My heart started to beat faster, I knew we were just friends, fooling around, but it reminded to much of being in this situation. Being restrained. Not being able to move.
Nick sensed my anxiety. He let go of his grasp around my ankles and let go of his body weight on me, and let his hand slide down to find mine.
He rubbed my fingers softly, and whispered gently into my ear.

"I love you Mollie. I couldn't find a better friend than you." Sort of relieved with his comment, I smiled and breathed onto my pillow.
I loved Nick. So much. Too much. But I can't fall for my best friend. It wasn't allowed. Or rather, it couldn't be allowed.

After a few moments after Nick finished playing with my fingers, I spoke back to him. "I love you too Nick." I untangled our hands, turned around so I was looking right at him. His curls brushing against my face, still smelling of shampoo. His eyes, hypnotising my heart to skip a few beats.
I kissed his nose shyly and then turned back around as quickly as I could.
Nick chuckled quietly under his breath and snuggled up to me.
"Night night Miss Mollie." He hushed, and then kissed my neck softly.
I grinned into my duvet.

This was meant to be.

But it couldn't.

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When I walk down the street and I hear the screams, the names, the clicks of the cameras. I try to blank it out. They all want to know what happened to Nick Jonas. Who's that? Who's Nick Jonas? Of course, in some ways I felt sorry for him. He HAD forgotten songs, and I'd caught glimpses and heard gossip about him forgetting chords, lyrics and not knowing what to do on stage. They blame me. It's all HER fault. It's kind of ironic, they are angry at you for causing your ex-boyfriend to make so many mistakes, but they are angry at you for leaving him.
I do feel guilty. It wasn't his fault. But it pains me too much to even see his picture in a magazine, his smile on a poster, his voice on the radio. Even my favourite Jonas Brothers songs were all wiped from my computer, iPod and the CD collection was hidden away. I don't play 'Tonight' anymore. When they scream encore they always shout for the song. I just tell them, 'I don't play that song anymore.' They know it's because of him.
They realised soon enough, and that day when I was down the street passing T.V shops, I saw my live performance of 'Tonight' in Cali. I watched for a mere ten seconds before turning my head away and being greeted by a herd of paparazzi.

'Why don't you play 'Tonight' anymore?'

'What happened between you guys?'

'Did he cheat on you?'

'Did you cheat on him?'

'Why did you leave Nick Jonas?'

Nick Jonas. There were so many things I wanted to scream at the cameras. So many truths I wanted to admit into the flashes. But I couldn't.
I still had respect for him, no matter how much it hurt.
I shoved a pap out the way and he tumbled into the guy next to him, they both collided and fell into a parked car. The window smashed. Shit.

I was charged with assault and fined $50,000. It was broadcast over the headlines. Parents didn't want their tweenage kids to come and see me anymore. I lost alot of my younger fans. I didn't mean to. They were in my way, my space, my privacy... my life. I didn't want everyone to know what I had for breakfast everyday, I didn't want the world to see me working out in the gym. My life was crumbling, and I needed to get out on stage ASAP.
I booked the House of Blues and was told there would be special guests. Awesome, new people from the industry.

The next day I was ready to reassure myself my dream meant the world to me. I knew it, I just had to make sure everyone else did too.

I had no idea who the guests were but they were supporting me after my last song, so it should be cool.
I sang my new record, which went down a storm THANK GOD. It was all about living life to full no matter what comes your way, a song that I'm happy to stick by. My old songs, and some covers, and then my final song. Everyone's mouth dropped when I told them I'd be performing 'Tonight.' It wasn't about him anymore anyway. It was for everyone to relate to, now it was just a story song to me. A made-up relationship.
The guests came on walking from the wings.
My mouth turned dry. I couldn't talk. My legs nearly collapsed. My heart pounded violently against my chest.

Them. It was them.

Nick:

We were surprised when we got the call from the 'House of Blues' asking us to support a guest star. Without sounding rude, they had to be a megastar for us to be supporting them. When we got there, we had no idea who we were supporting. We were ushered through while the star was on stage talking to the crowd. She was British. I peeped through the curtain.
A funky, brown-haired slender girl, was working the stage, explaining something to the crowd which made them gasp.
"Oh my god." Kevin whispered behind me.
"What?" I said, looking over my shoulder at him.
"Dude." Joe stammered, placing his hand on Kevin's shoulder to keep him upright.
"What?" My voice was low, and I sounded impatient and harsh.
"Nick, I don't think we should go on stage." Joe said, his face turning white.
"Why not?" I turned back to look at her. Her face. That stunning face. Those big brown eyes. The chaotic, but stylish haircut. The voice.

Her. It was her.

Rosmy.

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No matter how hard I tried, I could not remember anything about this girl. How old she was, what her favourtie colour was, I even sometimes struggled to remember her name. I was given countless information about this amazing girl, and I'd wish and wish that I could find even a little memory of her in my mind, but I couldn't think of a single thing. She sounded like an angel,the way my family described her, I was obviously lucky to be with her. But they must of also been things that only me and her shared, secrets or special feelings that us two only encountered that made our relationship so strong.
When my brothers told me the day we met, I felt a pang of guilt. I must have put her in so much pain. Seeing two people she loved in a hospital bed, and having no other relations. She must be very strong, but I guess she doesn't realise that. My brothers tell me she's done well for herself. Apparently she came on tour with us and then she picked up huge events and was in the headlines almost all the time, and it was surprising to hear that alot of the time, the Jonas Brothers weren't involved. I remember us going on tour, I remember playing to the crowds. I just can't fathom any event or occasion that included her. Her. Rosmy. It was such a pretty name. And she had a beautiful face to go with it.
I don't understand. I'm putting her through hell. I know it's not might fault I slipped. I was trying to call her, trying to reach her before her last concert and that's when I slipped. What was wrong with me?

I tried to resume a normal life. The family got calls from her at least three times a week. Frankie was very fond of her, he'd didn't understand why she left, so he frequently asked when she was coming back. We didn't know what to say, and the question was always answered with, 'I don't know.' Because we really didn't. She probably never was going to come back, I can understand that. It would be painful. Very painful. Why can't I just remember.

My brothers and I were in our studio going through papers and songs that had been put to the side. I was shuffling through some papers when I came across a cursive piece of writing, I uncreased the paper and read it,

'To Rosmy,

I just wanted to let you know that..." the rest of the wrting was scribbled out and torn. My heart started to beat faster. Then I searched through more papers in the exactly same writing but a different message, all starting with 'To Rosmy...'

'I can't live without you.'

'I need you to understand that I'm always here for you.'

'I would never hurt you.'

'I'll always be here for you.'

They went on and on, I guess, I really did love this girl.
And then I read the last one, in full and completely heartfelt.

'To Rosmy,

There is no other way to say this. I love you. More than you'll ever know. Even if we never talk again, even if we never see each other again, I just want to let you know you've made a change in my life, and for that I am truly grateful. I'll never forget you, ever. I promise.

All my love,

Nicholas Jerry Jonas x'

I gulped. I don't remember writing this, my mind was like a blank page. I made a promise to never forget her. I guess that's why it hurt her so bad. Maybe I told her these words? Maybe I said something similar? I blinked, a few tears ran down my face.
"Dude, what's up?" Joe came over to me. I never cried, so it was obvious something was wrong.
I wiped away my tears and gathered the pieces of paper and handed them to Joe.
"I loved her Joe." I whispered, I felt the waterworks beginning to build up inside of me. "I loved her..." Joe blinked worriedly at me. "Why can't I remember!?" I fell to the ground and held my head in my hands. I wanted to remember so badly, the pain was tearing through my body, up to my throat making it burn with all the sorrow. "Hey man, it's going to be alright." Joe dropped the papers on the table and hugged me. My head fell into his chest and Kevin crouched beside us and placed his hand on my back. "Nick," Kevin hushed, "Don't worry about a thing. We'll help you remember, we will. I promise."

But I knew about promises. Promises were the most painful gift in the world. And I'd broken a promise. To my girlfriend. My girlfriend. Rosmy.
Her name was beginning to become more familiar by day.
Rosmy. Roz-me. Yeah. That's right.
But will I ever remember anything more than her name?

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Nick's POV:

Everyone just looked at me, wondering what the hell I was about to ask.
"Come on Nick, spit it out!" Joe said encouragingly.
"First of all I want to let you know." I paused, looking around at everyone.
"I don't just want this."
I breathed out.
"I need this." Everyone nodded.
"Would it be ok with you guys, if... I asked Rosmy to marry me?" Everyone gasped. I winced. Then I felt my mother's arms around me. "Sweetheart, it'd be more than ok." I smiled into her hug. Everyone cheered and I laughed. "You know son," My dad put his arm around me. "She's one heck of a girl, she's intelligent, funny, she's got tons of energy, she's beautiful, and Nick." Looked into my eyes. "She's perfect for you." I grinned then nodded.
"Thanks dad." He patted my shoulder.
"When are you planning to ask her?" Kevin enquired, after all, this WAS the second engagement from the Jonas Brothers.
"After her last concert in cali, the wrap party she invited everyone to." Joe high fived me, "Proud of you man."
"Thanks bro." I was so glad everyone was happy for me.
"Does this mean she's my like, REAL sister now?" Frankie jumped up.
I put my arm around my little brother, "Yes it sure does." Frankie ran around the sofa and kept whooping. It was amazing to see such positive reactions.

So I had the ring engraved with simply, 'I Love You.' and her name on the rim at the top. I wrapped up the ring in paper that I'd written on, a sort of wrapped in love letters type thing. I remembered how she never wanted me to forget, that day when Miley turned up. So, I wrote,
"To Rosmy,
I want you to know, even if we grow apart, even if I never see you ever again, if I never communicate with you ever again, I just want to let you know. You've made a difference to my life, you made a change to me and I'm grateful to you for that. And you'll always have a place in my heart.

I love you with all my heart,
Nicholas Jerry Jonas x

P.S - I'll never forget you. Ever."

And how could I forget her? She was the most amazing girl on this planet.

So the day she left for her tour I handed her the box. I told her not to open it until I told her to.
I missed her terribly. I found it hard to keep her off my mind, of course I still loved every second of performing, but I guess you really don't know what you've got until it's gone.
The day of the concert I was so excited. I got to see my girlfriend and soon to be fiance' perform, and then I'd call her and tell her to open the box and voila! Hopefully she'd say yes, and it was less awkward that way. Writing things down always helped me let out my feelings better, I could have sung a song asking her hand in marriage but that would have been a bit too cheesy.

I couldn't contain myself, I had to call her and say good luck before the concert. I reached into my pocket and called her.
I walked down the stairs as it rang, suddenly, I lost my footing, my hand slipped off the railing. I tumbled down the hard cold stairs and was engulfed in total darkness.

Rosmy's POV:

As sat beside my fire in the living room. I was lonely, but I tried to get out as much as I could. So I sat and thought about how to permenantly get rid of Nick Jonas out of my head. It's not easy. Obviously. Having someone in your life who you love and care for, to suddenly not know of these feelings and have no recognition who you are.
I tried to imagine my mother's last words, to live my dream. I had to focus on that right? I looked up at the promise box on the mantelpiece, I kept it there. I guess I had a little part of me that believed he'd remember. What was in the box? It couldn't be anything THAT important. You know, like, it wasn't an engagement ring or anything in there. I reached up and fiddled with the mystery box.
Somehow, I had to get it out of my head. I promised 'Nick' that I wouldn't open it. Eventhough I had great desire to do so. it was the one thing that reminded me of him constantly. So, I had to rid of it.
I picked up my coal clamper and placed the box in the handles. I cringed, but it had to be done. I moved my hand feverishly to the fire, and dropped the box. The flames whipped violently at the box, the corners sinking into themselves turning black. I blinked a few tears them wiped them away. It felt good almost. I felt proud of myself. Burning the memories of him out of my mind.

I was not going to stop, until I'd finished forgetting Nick Jonas.

Nick's POV:

I didn't know who she was. All I knew was that she was beautiful, and from the way she spoke, she sounded fairly intelligent. From what my family has told me, we were insperable. Nothing could keep us away from each other. It sounds like she had a big impact on me AND my family. She sounded great. But, I guess it does hurt. What if one of my brother's forgot who I was, what I was like. I can see why she left. I respect her decision, but I just wish I could start to be able remembering this girl called 'Rosmy.'

Rosmy's POV:

The next morning I came downstairs all wrapped up, it was another chilly morning. I pulled a blanket over myself and sat on the sofa. I turned on the TV and watched the morning news.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a piece of singed piece of paper on the floor I bent down and picked it up, and was about to throw it into the bin when I noticed writing on the piece of paper. I tried not to read it. All that read on the scrap of paper was,

'I'll never forget you.'

Well Nick Jonas. You were wrong.
So very wrong.

It was like it was the beginning of the end. I was crazy for you Jonas.

Crazy For You.

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I stampeded down the corridors, people whipping their heads round as I ran. Big Rob followed me and when I stopped because I didn't know where I was going he took my hand and led me down what seemed like the longest hallway ever. I was feeling so very faint.
I saw the room he was in right away, I charged to the door, but a nurse stopped me, holding her hand up at me. "Family only." I wanted to scream. I stared at her, tears started to spill over my cheeks, "But, I..."
Big Rob came up behind me, "She IS family." The nurse didn't bother arguing.
I opened the door. There he was. Laying on the bed. Tubes and all sorts of complicated wires attatched to his body. "Oh my god." I cried out. Joe got off his seat and wrapped his arms around me, swaying me gently. "What's wrong, what happened, wha.. what.." I couldn't even talk, my mouth was turning dry and it reminded me when my mother died. I wasn't about to loose the best thing that came into my life.
Mrs Jonas took my hand, tears streaming down her face too.
"Sweetheart, Nick fell down the stairs. He hit his head very hard and has been unconcious since then." Joe let me slip out of his grasp and I waled over to Nick. He still looked beautiful, eventhough his face was deadly pale, and he looked like a corpse. "Is he going to be ok?" I managed to whisper.
"The doctors don't know babe. They told us at first he might slip into a coma." His voice quivered. I gulped.
Kevin pulled out a phone from his pocket. "He tried to call you when it happened. I guess he just slipped." His voice trailed off. Kevin got up and stood behind me, putting his arms infront of my body. For a moment, I felt safe. I felt like nothing could touch me. Like a story, or a song. Mr Jonas mumbled his first words since I'd entered the room, Frankie was sitting on his lap. "Maybe you should sing to him Rosmy. He was dying to hear them..." I breathed in.
I sat on the bed, clasped Nick's freezing cold hand, and began to sing,
"You..." I gasped and sucked in tears. Kevin put his hand on my shoulder. I took another breath.
"You, you're like a dream,
And I never want to wake up again.
And you, you make happy,
The happiest that I've ever been." Everyone was deadly silent. Joe put his hand on my other shoulder.
"I thought hope was gone,
There goes the sun,
But you came along,
You're the one." Mrs Jonas was crying, Frankie blinked and a few tears ran down his precious face. He got up and held my waist, and with my other hand I placed it on his back comfortingly.
"Oh, my darling.
Your smile is so bright,
It could light up the sky,
Tonight.

And I can't believe you're in my life,
You made everything that was wrong, right,
You told me to keep the faith,
You trusted every word I said,
And when you..." My voice wavered, crying never really does help when you're singing.
"And when you looked at me.
With those eyes.
When you held me,
In your arms,
When you said that everytime I smiled at you,
You went to heaven..." I stopped, and then breathed in quickly.

"Then I realised,
Tonight,
Is not just tonight,
Tonight, is always right,
And tonight,
Is every night,
That you searched into my soul,
And found the key that reached my true goal.
That night, everything changed.
And tonight..." Everyone was crying, and I couldn't almost go on, but I had just a few more words.
"I.
Love.
You."
I bent my head and kissed Nick's hand. Everyone was in hysterics. Kevin, rested his head on my shoulder. "That was beautiful Rosmy." I blubbered and hugged him with one arm.

Suddenly, I felt a movement in my hand. I gasped. Nick's hand was moving. An icy chill went down my spine. Everyone up,
"Nick honey?" Mrs Jonas' voice was filled with panic. Nick's eyes twitched, and then, they opened. "NICK!" Everyone screamed in unison.
We all hugged him and tears of happiness ran down everyone's face.
Nick smiled, he looked round at everyone, he looked from Kevin to Frankie smiling. Then he got to me. He looked at me puzzled. I smiled at him, "Nick, I'm so glad you're awake." I stroked his hand. He observed me doing this and screwed up his face. "What's wrong honey?" Mrs Jonas asked.
Nick looked around, as if he was looking for something. Then he whipped his head round. "What happened?"
"Honey, you fell and hit your head really hard. It's a miracle you're awake." She rubbed his arm and Nick smiled. Then he looked back at me,
I studied me up and down.
"Who are you?" Nick spat at me. My heart sunk. What did he mean? I was his girlfriend, I was his girl. I was...
"That's Rosmy sweetie, you remember her right?" I started to tear up again.
Nick, struggled to answer, he sucked in his lips, "I'm sorry. I don't know who you are." Joe and Kevin looked at one another.
"Nick, she's been your girlfriend for over a year, she's like family now." Nick found this hard to understand. He shook his head then looked into my eyes.
"You're very beautiful, but I don't remember. How hard did I hit my head?" With that the doctor came in, I sat down, trying to compose myself with the 'new' Nick I was encountering.
"Nick Jonas! You are awake!" he fiddled with his clipboard and asked the family to ask him questions to see if he had forgotten anything.
"He's forgotten me." I whispered. The doctor knelt down beside me, "How long hve you known Nick?"
"Just over a year." I said, barely audible.
The doctor nodded and got up. "Well, if Nick has forgotten someone who has been with him over a year then he may have forgotten other events that have happened in the past year. He might of even forgotten to play instruments."
Nick shook his head, "No, I know how to play instruments...So, you were my girlfriend?" The words stung, 'were', it almost seemed we split up. And in a weird kind of way, we had. There was no connection. I didn't feel anything towards him, eventhough I knew he'd lost his memory.
"Yes. And you were amazing. You were there for me through thick and thin, you were my everything." When I used 'were' a part of my heart broke. I couldn't believe this.
"It's possible Nick has selective amnesia. Allowing the brain to forget certain events."
I bent my head and started to bawl. Joe put his arm around me, "hey babe, it's fine. You'll always be our little sister." I squeezed him tight. He was a great brother.
Nick started to speak, "I'm sorry. I don't remember who you are. If I could, I honestly would. You sound amazing and I would be lucky to have a girlfriend like you but... I don't remember." I got up and nodded.

"It's ok." I breathed out.
"We could learn to like each other again." I put my hand up. And shook my head, still crying.
"No. No matter how hard we try, you will never relive what made us click. Nothing could bring back the chemistry, the feelings and emotions. It's just a memory to me now. And it may seem selfish, me telling you this, but I don't want it to hurt anymore." I let out an exasperated sigh. "I'm going." Everyone in the room turned to look at me.
"Rosmy, no." Joe said sternly. "No matter if Nick has forgotten you. You are still part of this family." I loved Joe, he was incredible. "Maybe Nick will remember..."
"But what if he doesn't!?" I shouted. "What if he never remembers me. Who I am? What I'm like? What my dream means to me? How we met? What if he never remembers any of it?!" I was screaing really loud.Every was stunned into complete shock.
"I was crazy for you Nicholas Jerry Jonas. Crazy for you. And now I'm going crazy for you." Nick blinked. He was starting to cry,
"If I could remember, I would." I knew it wasn't his fault, but it was for our own good...
"I know!" I cried. "I know. But, I can't take this pain. I've suffered enough in my life to let it come to this. I'm going to go. I'm going my own way now. You don't have to tell the tabloids anything. Tell them we split up, a mutual understanding?" I blinked. "You shouldn't have to explain it gave you amnesia, you've got enough on your plate." I sighed.
"It's pains me to say goodbye, so I'm not going to. I'm going to say thank you." The whole family hugged me, while Nick lay on the bed looking confused and bewildered. "I'll keep in touch." I looked at the rest of the family. "Goodbye Nick." I said, and started to leave the room.
"Goodbye." He replied. I waited, and waited and wished he'd remember my name. But of course, life has a way of never letting your forget that remembering is one of the hardest things to do.
Suddenly, I turned around. "This." I reached into my pocket and pulled out the 'Promise Box'. "You told me I couldn't open it until you told me too." Mr and Mrs Jonas sat on edge, did they know what was in the box?
Kevin and Joe shifted, did they know too?
"Keep it." Nick said. Without a doubt in his voice. "Don't open it. Just keep it." Nick didn't know what was in the box, but I nodded and walked out of the room.

I've endured five months living without the Jonas Brothers and their family. When I play my shows I enjoy every second, but there always comes that time when I have to play 'Tonight' and memories of Nick and I flood back into my memory. Living my dream, was now becoming living hell. The pain it brought me was so destructive, and I attended a two-month session seeing a psychiatrist. I was suffering from manic depression. It helped, a little.
I still talk to Joe, Kevin, Mr & Mrs Jonas, Frankie, Big Rob and the band. But it hurts. I've haven't spoken to Nick since that day when he fell. But it wasn't really Nick. Was it?

Now, my journey is a new one.

To forget Nick Jonas.

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"Aleki, you have now been transitioned into human form."

I looked down at my new figure. I had four long skinny poles attached to my thin body. My skin wasn't blue, but a neutral brown cream colour. Suddenly, a mirror materialised onto the wall inside the pod. Ugh. I looked hideous, curly soft material was attached to my narrow head and my eyes were almond shape and the same colour as my curls. I had these things called 'hands' and 'feet.' Apparently, without them, humans would not be able to move around on their own accord.
"Aleki. You are being transported to the United States of America. This is a country with many different states, like Amezrehuka." I nodded, the material on my head moved with it. I knew all the states in Amezrehuka, Arizohna, Chalkifornya, Mrisissipy....

Abruptly, a blinding strike of light jolted into the pod.
In a second, I found myself in a square room. I looked around, there were these things on the walls, I believe their called 'guitars', humans use them to produce sound. I was sitting on a piece of furniture called a sofa. It was very comfortable. As I enjoyed the comfort of the sofa, I heard shrill screams and they were increasing. What was going on? Was someone invading? I immediately found something I could hide under, a wooden flat rectangular base, with four thin legs under each corner. Much like my own new transportation, it wasn't that hard to walk around, the base of my 'feet' helped me to 'walk.' No wonder humans can get around so easily, and no wonder they need their 'feet'.
I was scared, my first couple of minutes on Earth and already something bad was happening.

My heart thudding against my chest. Someone was coming to the room. I held my breath. The door swung open.

My first encounter with three human beings.

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