Marnie:
There he was.
His dark curls a mess upon his head, and his tanned skin wet from the rain.
"Joe?" My voice was barely a whisper. Why was he here?
My eyes suddenly started to well again, Joe's face was a sullen saddened picture, his eyes just as empty as my own.
"Marnie, I need to talk to you."
I nodded, tears falling from my face, he seemed shocked by this, I never cried in front of them, ever.
I pulled his hand so we were both standing in the narrow hallway.
I blubbered a stutter of a cry and I found myself in Joe's arms.
He gripped my waist tightly, pulling me upwards onto his body.
We manoeuvred our way to my bedroom, both resting on my bed as we recoiled from each other.
"Marnie," Joe began.
What is it with people addressing me with my name so often all of a sudden? It's not helping explain this awful dilemma at all.
"Nick has done this for your own good. He doesn't want to hurt you any further, he just wants you to carry on with your life without him. It's for the best."
I didn't understand. Nick was my world. There's nothing else I wanted... needed in my life but him. The only logical explanation is that he'd been with someone else, afraid to tell me and now wants to scurry way in shame and not face the consequences.
What an asshole. We were standing there in the rain, our clothes damp, our hair wet and our two bodies moving together as one. Well, he wanted to go out with a bang.
This was majorly unfair. If he didn't want to be with me, we could have talked it out, something that made SENSE.
"He was with someone else wasn't he?"
My voice shuddered at the thought of Nick holding someone else. Kissing another girl's lips. Wrapping his strong arms around their waist...
"Yes." Joe answered simply.
I sighed. I knew it. It's the only reason that seemed plausible.
"Then why has he given me this shitting cassette tape?"
I pointed at the cassette player that still was set on pause/play.
"I guess he thought it would help ease your hurt. A comfort. I'm not entirely sure."
Joe's voice didn't seem fully committed to the words he was saying, I'm not sure if I believed him or not, but I guess I had to, there wasn't much else in the world that I could truly believe in anymore.
"Well, he can have it back!" I half-yelled in anger and ejected the tape and brandished it towards Joe.
"No, Marnie. You have to keep it."
Joe's hands waved outwards, palms facing me. When people show their palms, it's a sign of honesty. Truthfulness, and I guess I did need to keep the cassette for whatever reason.
I placed it back in the player.
"Listen to one song a day. It'll be easier."
He said, his voice growing softer.
"Look sweetie,"
I adored it when he called me that. He was a great big brother. I loved him to pieces and was truly awesome.
"I'll keep in contact, and I know it's going to be hard. Kevin, Frankie, our parents, Big Rob, the band and I all want to keep in touch with you."
I nodded, my head falling slowly to face my crossed legs.
He cupped my chin in his hands and looked right at me. Wow. He had Nick's eyes.
Oh shut up Marnie. Nick's gone. It's all you now.
"Babe, we'll always be here for you, you're our little sister, and Frankie's big sister. You are a part of our lives that we are not going to give up as easily."
I nodded, another tear rolled down my face.
He wiped it away with his thumb and kissed my cheek.
"You'll be fine. Trust me." He breathed softly.
And I guess I had to.
We sat and cuddled each other for a few minutes before I said my goodbyes to him
"Tell the family I love them." I said as he stood at my front door.
"I will." He smiled.
I smiled my best forced smile back at him. I waved, and he did the same as he walked off into the weather which had settled down surprisingly, since he'd made an appearance at my house.
One song a day. Ok then. I've had my fill for today, but I was desperate to just listen to one more before tomorrow.
I couldn't resist. Well, could you?
I hit play.
'Hey baby, I know you know that you should be taking a break from listening to these songs. If I didn't know you, you'd be one of those people who'd be too angry to listen to anymore right now. But I know you Marnie, and you want to hear another.'
Oh my god. He knew me like the back of his hand. It was kind of strange how he'd said that I should be 'taking a break' from listening to the songs. It was just like Joe had said. Weird.
A few chords were played and his gorgeous voice erupted from the speakers.
'My darlin',
You are my life,
But I've made so many mistakes,
It's time that I,
Should come to say,
Why you make me feel this way,
And why I went,
Behind the scenes,
And dishonoured your trust,
Oh baby please,
It's not what you think,
But honesty is a must...'
My heart melted. Why didn't he just tell me? It wasn't torture listening to the song, but it broke a tiny bit more of my heart to say the least.
'We've gone through so much,
I melt at your touch,
And I hope you feel the same,'
Oh believe me, boy I do.
'We'd stand side by side,
Together with pride,
Oh, I hope you feel the same,
Oh, why is everything so confusing?
Maybe I'm just out of my mind?
But I love you,
I really do,
Please,
Don't cry...'
Too late, my sheets were damp with my tears long before those lyrics boy.
'I need you to know,
I'm sorry,
I really am,
Please,
Just fly...
My love,
Spread your wings,
It's time you flew solo,
I've been holding you back for so long,
Just open your mouth,
Scream and shout,
Tell them what your all about,
I'm sorry for this,
Whatever I've done,
I just need you to run like the wind,
And show the world,
To the world,
Sing,
Your heart out...'
He always told me he loved my voice. I'd written songs for him on the piano and guitar and he told me the lyrics were incredible.
I never quite believed him, but if that's what I have to do to forget him, then so be it.
I stopped the tape.
The phone began to ring.
"Hello?" I said, my voice still slightly hoarse from the crying.
"Hello is that Marnie Jonas?" I didn't recognise their voice, but it was man.
"Yes it is, who's calling please?"
"I'm Lucas Hunter and I've spoken with your manager and agent."
"Oh?" I said, trying not to sound to eager, but this sounded beyond exciting.
"We want you to go on a small tour for about three months, seeing how the public respond to your music, and then we'll arrange details for you to record your first album."
My heart skipped a beat. I've always wanted to be a performer, always. And now it just came along, I guess as the old saying goes.
When one door closes, another one opens.
"That sounds incredible. How is this being arranged?"
"We'll meet up in a day or two, your manager should call tomorrow and we will explain everything, I hope your ready for this Miss Jonas."
"Oh I am. Thank you so much."
"No, thank you." I heard a smile creeping in his voice.
And with that, Lucas Hunter the answer to my prayers hung up.
This was going to be awesome.
_________________________________________________________________________
FLASHBACK
Nick's eyes never left mine, even though I kept looking down at the strings on the guitar.
'Just need you to know,
I'll always be here,
No matter where you go,
Or what you fear,
I'll always be here...'
I plucked the last few strings and Nick smiled.
"Marnie, it's beautiful."
My lips formed into a smile.
"And so are you!"
He leant forwards and moved the guitar that was placed on my lap and moved on top of me and started to caress me with countless kisses.
"I freakin' love you Jonas."
I said, in between the pecks he made over my skin.
"I freakin' love you too Jonas."
I felt a smile on his kisses and it made me giggle.
He was the best damn thing.
Falling slowly for Nick Jonas isn't possible.
You fall fast, and land hard.
But luckily he's got the best safety net I could have asked for.
He picked me up and spun me around a dozen times and then proceeded to try and dance the jive with me.
"Jiving Jonas can we stop being so energetic!?" I had squealed as he twirled me around.
"Sorry, I can't stop, the Red Bull has got to me!" He laughed as he twisted me this way and that before we fell onto the the floor together.
He rolled over, found my hand and lay, peaceful on the grass.
"You love it out here don't you?"
He said quietly.
I nodded.
"Nature is beautiful. All the colours, the shapes, the music..."
"Music?" He lifted his head up to look at me.
"Yeah. Music. Ever heard the crickets sing? The wind whistle? The snowflakes whisper gently in the snow?"
I sounded sappy, but nature was amazing, I admired it a lot. And one of the reasons I like to take pictures of it. I'm a very naturistic photographer.
"You're awesome Marnie, you sound so poetic."
I couldn't tell if he was making fun of me or being deadly serious, it may have been a mixture of the two.
All the same, he rolled closer to me and his lips clamped onto my shoulder making me crease up as he nibbled my shoulder blade.
We laid there, holding each other as the bright sunshine beamed down on us.
I know, Ms Sun I know. I've made the perfect choice.
_________________________________________________________________________
Later that night, I got three texts.
The first one from Kevin:
'hey babydoll, how are you holding up?
Kev xx'
I replied,
'hey big bro, i'm not too bad. trying to just get on with it. but i've got some exciting news, call you tomorrow 
love you lots,
-xxx'
The second from Garbo:
'hey sweetie, keep smiling you lovely girl. we're always here for you.
x'
'thanks, your such a babe. keep rocking your socks off (:
-xxx'
And last, the third one. From Joe.
'i heard from our manager about you landing the tour(: well done gorgeous, hoping to hear your tunes on the radio soon xx'
I smiled. Life had just been ripped apart from the seams and then suddenly it's being sewn as fast as it can back together again.
'thank you beauty, and i hope so too(: i can't wait, life is just going through the roof, love you lots, -xxx'
I'm not going to forget Nick. I can't forget him.
Not with all the love songs I've written him which are heavily featured in the line-up of the tour.
Shit.
I almost forgot about all the love songs I have to listen to on the tape.
This is going to be a long tour.
_________________________________________________________________________
