Marnie:

His kisses were soft and pure, and made my whole body tingle with excitement and adrenaline. He'd held my hands behind my back, grasping my wrists firmly but gently. He leant over my stature and took full advantage of his position. Continually, he'd plant kisses over my skin around my neck and I could have died right there and then. Slowly he dropped his hold around my wrists, and his hands danced their way along my back. As he positioned his head over on my shoulder, his fingers started to slide their way underneath my top and moved up and down my bare skin. My heart was going a thousand beats per second, the sensation he gave me was beyond euphoric. It felt like it had lasted hours, days. But only a few minutes with him felt like forever.

After our affection had come to a tragic end, he drew backward and his eyes met mine. It was weird how comfortable we felt just looking at each other like that, anybody else and I'd have whipped my head away from them.
Gradually, I felt his hands mine and intertwined our fingers, all the while we still stared at one another. Suddenly, his soft, strong arms wrapped themselves around my body. My head smothered into his chest.
I felt his warm breath tickling my ear as a gust of wind blew past us, making us both tilt. He steadied me, and whispered,
"Marnie, I'm so sorry."
My eyes shot open, they'd be shut tightly feeling safe in his hold, but this comment startled me. What was he sorry for?

"What?" I hushed in reply, my voice concerned but I tried not to sound like what he said had bothered me.

"Marnie. I'm so sorry for what I'm about to say to you."
I pushed myself off of him slightly, he tried to hold me back into my snuggled position, but I think that was an excuse to not look me in the eye.
My head craned to look at him. His eyes filled with tears. I've never seen him cry. Ever. He was always strong. Sure, when he was upset he'd be very down and mopey, but he never cried.

"What is it Nick?" My voice was filled with worry, but my tone of voice had become high-pitched and I sounded a bit angry.
A flash of guilt flickered in his chocolate brown eyes, and he couldn't look at me straight.
"Nick. Look at me." I demanded. We always promised we'd be faithful to one another, truthful, honest, and we told each other everything. And I mean everything.

He did as he was told.
"Marnie." He breathed out a huge sigh. His grip was still firmly on my shoulder as were my cold hands on his.

"I love you." He stated. That was it? He told me he loved me everyday, but this time it didn't seem to mean a lot to him. It was said matter-of-factly with no feeling or emotion behind those three little words at all.

My heart pounded hard on my chest. My stomach knotted itself. My brows furrowed and my face was pulled into an utterly confused contortion.
"Nick." I said firmly, "What is it?"

His body tensed up, I dropped my hands from his muscled shoulders. I cocked my head to the side.

"Marnie..." He began, but I was getting pissed off with the way he started every sentence with my name as if it was supposed to mean something or explain his strange behaviour.

"Stop saying my fucking name and get to the point." My voice was brash but calm. I never fight with Nick. Ever.
My abrupt comment seemed to startle him, and I did surprise myself how the words came out of my mouth.

His hold loosened on me, and soon we weren't in contact with each other's bodies anymore.

"Look. I didn't want to have to do this to you. It breaks my heart for it to end this way."

My heart sunk. The knots in my stomach tightened until I thought I was going to throw up. My eyes started to burn with tears, and my throat went dry and I was unable to speak.

He sucked in a breath, took in my reaction and carried on with his pathetic please-feel-sorry-for-me-even-though-i-am-ripping-your-heart-to-shreds speech.

"You know I adore you. We've been together forever, and I've never been happier in my life. But I'm not sure if I can go on..."

In utter desperation I found my voice again,
"GO ON? GO ON WITH WHAT? WHAT CAN'T YOU GO ON WITH? WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU? WE ARE DESTINED TO BE TOGETHER! THIS DOESN'T HAVE TO END! WHA..WHAT, WHY... NICK... WHAT THE..."
I was at lost for words.
I promised myself if I ever had a dramatic break-up with a guy I'd make sure I'd shove all my hatred in his face and make sure I'd say what I needed to. But this was Nick, I hadn't planned this break-up.

"Baby, I'm so sorry. I know, we are destined to be together. But with all the accusations floating around, these assumptions about us... I can't bear to see you being hurt anymore."

I didn't understand what the hell he was going on about. We've been in the spotlight together for nearly three years. I know what it's like to be criticized. I know how to handle the rumours and the stupid threats.

This has nothing to do with him feeling sorry for me.

"Shut the hell up." I said sternly.
His eyes blinked at me, he was scared.

"This has nothing to do with you protecting me from the media. Nothing is wrong with our relationship. We are perfectly happy. Why are you going on about something that isn't even a fucking problem?"

When I was upset or angry, I usually put up my guard, so I seem stronger and it looks like I have thicker skin than I actually do. I break down and cry many times. Sometimes it happens for no reason at all. If anyone could break me, it was Nick. But I wasn't going to let him see that.

His hands fumbled into his pocket, taking out cassette tape. His eyes snapped to mine for a few seconds, then he held out his palm bearing the tape.
I glanced down at his offering. Then I looked at him.

"What?"
My voice was close to blubbering, but I kept my defensive tone in gear.

"Take it. It explains everything, after all, music is our language right?"
He half-smiled, he was scared to show any slight emotion that he was pleased or happy.

I looked down at the tape he was holding in his hand again.
My own hand angrily slapped the cassette out of his hands onto the wet grass.
"No." I stated. My eyes were burning again.
His face was in shock, he himself looked as if he was going to cry.

"Nick you are my world, you're my everything. If you want to end this relationship over nothing then I have no fucking idea why I bothered with you."
Tears were blurring my vision, I tried to blinked and make them go away, I turned my head and fiercely wiped them away before facing my future ex-boyfriend.

"I love you." He said again. I couldn't tell whether he meant it or not. But the state I was in, it didn't matter whether he did or not. he had caused me too much pain already for me to care.

He stepped forward, he tucked a piece of my hair behind my ear and stared into my eyes as his fingers stroked my cheek. For a moment, I drifted back to how we were before. The beauty and the wonderful essence of him I'd felt for so long came back to me.
But it soon disappeared.

I snatched his hand off my face and threw it backwards into him.
"Don't touch me." I sneered. I breathed in deeply.

"Marnie, please." He begged, he might as well have been on his knees on the floor.

"SHUT UP!" My voice was loud and screeching with such force I almost had to take a step back.

"I FUCKING LOVED YOU NICK JONAS. I LOVED YOU. SO MUCH. TOO MUCH. AND NOW YOU ARE LEAVING ME FOR NO REASON. WHAT THE HELL HAVE I DONE? WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? IS IT MILEY, HUH? IS IT SELENA? DID YOU GO AND WRAP YOUR ARMS AROUND THEIR SKINNY BODIES AND KISS THEIR PERFECT SOFT COMPLEXIONS DID YOU? DID YOU?! DID YOU REALISE HOW MUCH NICER IT FELT TO HOLD THEM INSTEAD OF ME? THIS HAS NOTHING TO WITH ME, HAS IT?!"

I had never shouted that loud in my entire life. Ever. It obviously scared the shit out of Nick. His eyes bulging out of his skull. If I had even started to get like that before, he'd been holding me close and comforting me through the night. But I guess now he was no longer going to be featuring in my life anymore. Ever again.

"I don't know what to say to you Marnie. I really don't. Music is the best way I could express myself to you."
His eyes rapidly flickered to the tape, laying the blades of grass that were becoming wetter as the rain splintered down from the sky.

I stood there motionless. My eyes focused on the tape. Nick stepped forward and planted a small kiss on forehead. He bent down to my level and looked into my eyes, but mine were still on the cassette.
"Goodbye Marnie." He said, no louder than a whisper. He turned, and walked away into the stormy weather.

I gulped. The droplets of rain were becoming colder and fell faster with the second. I'd been standing there for while. Probably hours, I'd lost all track of time anyway.

As I was becoming more and more soaked, my heart started to beat again.
I'd finally come to terms with the fact I was no longer Nick Jonas' girlfriend. But I was still Marnie Jonas. Whether I was going to marry him or not.

My legs moved stiffly in the opposite direction in which I was standing and began to make my way back home. I managed five or six steps.

Before running back and picking up the cassette tape.
My fingers ran along the plastic casing.

The first thing I noticed, is that it had a white tape over it.

And what it read was quite simple. And yet so meaningful.

'Love Songs.'

The 'o' was in a heart shape, just like we always wrote each other's surnames.

I turned once again, and didn't take my eyes off the tape. I knew the route too well to crash into anything.

I'm in the breakdown.

Nick Jonas, what have you done to me?

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