Pieces Of Rainbow

No Brother Of Mine

Rosmy POV:

We watched as they drove away with our parent's bodies sealed in the car. Even after five minutes the car had gone completely out-of-sight, we were still just standing there. Not saying a single word. Not unusual, but this time it felt there almost needed to be silence, and I was comfortable with it. I suddenly felt warmth surround me. My brother had moved closer towards me. I felt so angry, I wanted to yell at him for all the jackass things he's ever said or done to me, and shout at him for accusing me for killing our parents. But, I couldn't even bring myself to look him in the eyes. All our other realtions lived in distant countries and most of them were dead.
I got on with my mum, she was lovely by herself. But my dad always had something against me. I don't have a clue why but he always distanced himself from me, never wanting to talk about anything, not even normal dad-daughter stuff like him telling me 'You can't go out looking like that' or 'I'm going to keep my eye on that boyfriend of yours.' Not that I had boyfriends. No guys paid any interest to me whatsoever. I'm not attractive or anything, unlike my brother. Yeah, I had big brown eyes, thick dark brown hair that I curled, straightened and backcombed occasionally. I haven't got a great body, like I said I don't like the way my stomach fills me over. I have a 26inch waist and like 32inch hips, I know people say an hourglass figure is womanly but I just look like tard. And, I'm 5'4 & weigh 106lbs, so I just wanna loose a few pounds, no biggy. I just don't feel that comfortable in my own skin. My mum always told me,
"Baby, you are beautiful, the only reason you aren't getting any guys is because they're scared."
"Scared of what?" I'd always say.
"Scared of not reaching your standards, scared they aren't good enough for you."
I never believed her, but it made me feel somewhat better.

The phone rang from inside the house and Joe turned around and went inside to answer it. I didn't look at him, I just stared down the street. The more I looked, the more and more depressed I felt, but it was hypnotising. I couldn't stop looking, my eyes kept drooping and I kept angrily flickering them open again so I could concentrate, but they kept closing. My head felt light, my body started to crumble. Before I knew it, I was lying on the ground.

Joe POV:

I didn't feel like talking. I didn't feel like doing anything. I just wanted everything to be back the way it was. I wanted to be bickering with my sister again, I wanted to blast my music and hear her whiney voice shrieking for me to turn it down. I want to know why my parents killed themselves. But for now, that's a mystery that may never be solved. The investigators and police couldn't find a single clue. Not a single fucking clue. All the while I had only spoken when I was asked a question, and at the least nodded, shook my head or grunted. I tried so hard not to cry. It was that time I had to be the big brother and show Rosmy that I was strong. As much as I hate her, I felt the need to protect her, she is my little sister.
They couldn't find any evidence at all, and they left saying they'd work out the financial business and sort out the paperwork and get back to me.
I was in charge now. That meant whether she liked it or not Rosmy as going to have to do what I told her.

I picked up the phone, "Hello?"
"Hey dude," It was Nick.
"Look man, it's not a good time right now."
"It's always a good time! Hey you know that chick Carly I told you about? Well she wants to meet you and.."
"Nick." I was getting frustrated, as much I as I would love to go on a date with a hot girl, now was NOT the time. I have to worry about another young lady in my life. Jeez, was I getting soft?
"It's not the time."
"Look Joe, I arranged it especially..."
"My parents committed suicide this morning." There. I said it.
"Shit man. I'm really sorry." His tone was apologetic, and I couldn't think of anything else to say. So I hung up on my best friend.

I breathed out a sigh and went to see if Rosmy was still standing outside. I looked out the window. I couldn't see her. My eyes shifted rapidly when I made out some dark hair sprawled over the pavement.
I sprinted out the door, and saw my little sister lying on the ground.
I pulled her over so her face was upright. She must have fainted, I checked her pulse still alive. I rested my head on her chest, still breathing. Still alive and still breathing. I'm not going to loose her, I may hate her guts but she's my sister and she's all I've got. I looked at her frail body. She was so skinny. I think she's trying those pills again.

I put her in the recovery position, her bones feeling they'd crack under my hands. She didn't stir. There was one thing left to do, I leant forward and breathed in her mouth. Suddenly her eyes flashed open and she sat up coughing and spluttering. She looked at me straight in the eyes. But not with hate, or anger. Or even sadness. More of a loving kind of look, which is very unusual coming from my sister believe me.
Then she seemed to morph back into her old self.
"Please tell me you did not just give me the kiss of life."
I managed to smile.
"I did not just give you the kiss of life." She smiled at me. I never realised how cute she is. I haven't seen that cheeky grin in a long time.
I stood up and offered her my hand. She took it and then let go of it as quick as she could when she was able to steady herself upright.
"I think you need some water." I mumbled.
She nodded and we both turned simultaneously to go back inside the house. Suddenly, Rosmy gripped my hand tightly and squeezed it. I looked down at her, she was so small, well 5'4 isn't that small but compared to me she was. My little sister, what was going on?

Rosmy POV:

What the hell was I freakin' doing? Holding my brother's hand? My dumbass, dickheaded brother? No way. I was dreaming. I hope this all was a dream. So I can go back to hating Joe. I couldn't help it though. We walked up the path into house while I still held his hand tightly. Suddenly I felt awkward and a bit sick at the same time. I dropped my grip and looked down at the floor, trying not to look at my wounded foot so I would remember the pain.
"Rosmy, what the hell did you do to your foot?"
"Glass outside, a big-ass piece too, really thick. I have no idea where it came from."
Joe reached up into the cabinet and pulled out some bandages and some cream. I cringed at the sight of them.
"What?" Joe brows furrowed. "I'm helping you."
"I know." I stammered. "It's just, it hurts so bad, and that is going to sting so bad."
Joe walked over to me and helped me hop up onto the counter.
"In life, we all get hurt." Joe started to twist the cap off the cream.
"And, it does sting, a lot sometimes. It almost feels as if the pain will never go away. But it does, in time we all get over whatever was hurting us and live for the future. We may not forget it, but we'll be happier when the pain and hurt is gone." He squeezed a bit of cream from the tube onto his finger. He held my foot up on his arm and dabbed the cream on my cut. I cringed. I felt pain, sadness and happiness all at once.
"Nice lecture." I said through gritted teeth, I paused. "So your saying that we will get over mum and dad?" My eyes welled up again.
Joe dropped my foot gently and put the cap back on the cream and wiped the remains of it on his black vest top.
He looked into my eyes and used his thumb to catch my tears.
"Yes." he said finally. "Maybe not now. But in time."
I nodded sadly and looked up into his big eyes.
"You are no brother of mine." I let out a half sigh, half exasperated laugh. And with that, my big brother pulled me into a tight hug. He's never hugged me that way before. I wrapped my arms around his neck and burrowed my head into his neck.
I think I love my brother.

Joe POV:

As I pulled her into a hug I felt euphoric. All feelings of sadness left me. I whispered, "We've only got each other now." My fingers dug into her ribs making her squirm a little. I remember when we were little and I used to have tickle fights with her. I'd always win, she never managed to find my spot. She was ticklish all over so she would always end up begging for mercy and I would still be tickling her sides victoriously like there was no tomorrow even after she pleaded and pleaded. I loved making her smile.

We were bonding again. I'm not sure how long it would last but it was better than being at each others throats at a time like this. If mum and dad were ok, and life was running as normal, Rosmy would've punched me in the balls by now. Maybe she's more human than I thought.
I think I love my sister.

The Black Morning

Rosmy POV:

The air was crisp and smelt musty. I looked over at Beano, his matted orange fur moved softly as the wind started to grow. The ground felt warm on my barefeet and the sky was pale grey and it looked as if it was going to turn darker.
Suddenly I heard a soft tune coming from my brothers bedroom. I looked up and he was reaching out pushing his window open.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?"
Just the sound of his voice irritated me.
"What the shitting hell does it look like I'm doing?"
It didn't take much for us to argue. Heck, that's all we ever do.
"I don't have a godamn clue that's why I'm asking."

I could feel he was already about to burst with anger, we did nothing but piss each other off. It hasn't always been like that though. When we were younger, much younger, we used to get along so well. I can remember I was about seven and he was nearly thirteen, he had his friends round the house. They walked past me and pushed me around and laughed and jeered at me, saying stuff like, 'move little girl' or 'wow, you're short I could use you for my footstool.' Nothing midly insulting, but then it really upset me and I'd burst into tears. I went and told my brother Joe what they had said, and instead of saying 'come on little sis, get over yourself' he had picked me up and held me in his arms for what felt like hours, infront of his friends. I remember one of them saying, 'Jesus, dude your such a girl, she needs to learn to get over these things and grow up.' Joe had put me down and put his arm around my seven-year-old waist. 'Who knew I could be friends with such asses, she's my little sister, I'd rather be with her playing tea-party all day than being in the company of some idiots like you.' I also recall, that day, when my wonderful big brother stuck up for me, I walked around the rest of that afternoon with a huge grin on my face that said, 'i love my brother Joe.'

Nothing like that happened since.

So here I was talking (arguing) with my big dick of a brother. Joseph Jonas. It doesn't take much for me to make him angry but calling him Joseph makes his blood boil. Suddenly his face caught sight of Beano on the floor.
"What the shit happened to the cat!?"
I looked at Beano then looked up to him, "I don't know, I just found him lying there."
Our cobra-cat hadn't just been lying there. But I couldn't tell him what actually happened. I'd be in for it then.
"What the hell do you mean just LYING there. You're LYING and I'm going to tell mum and dad what you did to that freakin' cat."
I felt a sliver of guilt and a pang of fear but I didn't care. If that cat wasn't the spawn of satan I'd damn-straight kiss my brother.
"Good luck waking them up, you know how they like their sleep-ins." The tone of my voice was cocky and arrogant and I felt powerful sitting in the garden in my pajamas, beside a cat that I purposely drugged to see if the pills really worked and could help you loose weight.
Shit. Oh well, it was going to come out sooner or later. I do NOT have an eating disorder. I just want to loose a pound, or two. Or twenty. I'm not fat, but I don't like the way my stomach fills me out so you know, I thought I'd give the pills a try. Joe knew this. He'd found the packet and read what they contained and being the geek he is knew what the contents could cause.
Joe looked down at me and stuck his middle finger up at me and I saw him walk out of his door, to tell our parents.
I waited. And waited. Waited for the stomping feet to come down the stairs and the door to swing back and come off it's hinges and a scream blaring in my face. I waited, still.
Nothing.
I stood up, and began to walk to the door. Crap. I looked down at my foot and grabbed it, wobbling around trying to hold my balance. Glass in my foot. I cringed and gripped the thick glass impailed in my sole and wrenched it out. I yelled out in pain and looked at the wound again. Blood trickled onto the ground and on my hands and I tried to limp/hop my way to the kitchen through the door.
Suddenly, Joe burst through the backdoor and ran at me like a bull on fire. He grasped my shoulders tightly and pulled me off the ground so we were the same height staring at each other, face-to-face.
"What the hell did you do you little bitch!"
I couldn't gather my words quickly enough, not even fast enough to ask what he meant.
"What the fuck did you do to mum and dad!?"
I couldn't take in what he was shouting at me.
"HUH? What the freakin' hell happened? Is that what your shitty little joke meant? 'Good luck waking them up.'"
he mocked me angrily.
I finally stuttered, "What the hell are you talking about?"
He soon realised that I really didn't have a fucking clue what he was talking about. I always have a come-back why I had done something, if I had done something that made him this angry I would have shoved it in his face about now.
His breath was heavy and in first time in my whole life, I saw fear in my brother's eyes. Pure fear. His eye twitched. He put me down and put both hands on the back of his neck and leant forward, then back up again. He does that when he's going to cry. He cries alot. Never infront of me though. I see him in his room, bawling and sobbing. First impressions of my brother you think he's the tough, there's nothing pussy about him. I think it's because of the girls. My brother is attractive, I'll give you that. Girls come and go like buses with Joe, and sometimes the buses break-down and need a new driver and my brother is pushed out of the driver-seat and kicked to the curb.
A tear slid down his face, "What the freakin' hell happened then?" Not sure whether he was asking himself or me.
"What are you talking about, what's wrong with mum and dad?" My eyes darted about his body, searching for some sort of answer.
He said nothing. He grabbed my wrist, in a more less threatening way than usual and pulled me inside the house.
As came to the hallway Joe looked down at my feet, and then saw the blood trail I'd left coming from the kitchen.
"What the..."
"It doesn't matter." The pain was excruciating, but it didn't matter. What mattered was my parents and what Joe was going to show me.
We walked up the stairs together, in sync and in silence.
My parents door was half open and it felt colder now we were upstiars. Joe let go of my wrist and walked ahead of me looking back at me with worry and I sensed he wanted me to follow him.
My heart beated faster and faster. My steps were no faster than a tortoises' and my eyes were set on the door.
As I reached the opening I saw Joe looking straight ahead and it seemed he was looking a the headboards on my parents bed. I didn't turn to look when I entered the room, instead I walked beside Joe, my eyes focused on him and then I looked down. I looked down at my bleeding foot, and then looked at Joe navy & red stript socks beside my own feet.
Then I slowly lifted my head.

Words cannot describe what I saw that morning. That bleak crisp morning. The sky seeming to turn into a darkness of all the sorrow that was felt on that day. There was no explaination. No reason for my parents to of committed suicide. I asked myself over and over again why this could of happened, I could think of a single fucking thing.
My parents loved each other. They were thinking of having another kid.

And when I lifted my head, tears instantly welled up in my eyes. My heart turned cold with a mixture of anger and sadness, I don't know what I felt more of.
Then I felt two strong arms wrap around me, and they pulled me in tight and rested his head on mine.
For the first time in seven years, I was once again in my big brother's arms. And for the first time in my life, I felt safe. No one could touch me. It was just me and him, alone in the world. Together, protected.

I knew then, my 19 year old big bully brother, was my only hope. My only fucking hope.

So, I went to help my mum at her school but I ended up writing quotes in italics on her whiteboard : )

if you are having trouble viewing the pictures go to this link >
http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=1956218&id=787959432#/photo.php?pid=1956213&id=787959432

Yeeeees. : )
Rosmy -xxx

Oh my gosh. I got so angry that I couldn't get myself back into this dream, it was like fireworks went off.

Basically, I was in school and it had two function rooms for this party thing and I was freaking out because we were told the band coming was the Jonas Brothers. (I'm not a crazy fan, I just reeeeally appreciate their music and how amazingly wonderfully lovely they are : ) ) Well, they played in this small room (it went so fast I can't remember this bit!) & then they left the room and I started to cry, because they were here and it was amazing to see them play (I would of probably cried in real-life too!) Then Nick was at the door he hadn't really left and my friend was the only one with me she asked, 'why are you crying'. I said, "I don't know, it's hard to explain why.' Nick turned and looked at me and said 'it's hard to tell people what you're feeling, it's an emotion and a reason you can't describe.' I looked up and said, 'exactly'. Something was there like a little spark.Then something else happened and then I ended back in the room and they were playing another song, and when I walked in Nick kept looking at me, as I moved around he kept glancing up and smiling at me. It was just like a movie. Then like mid-way between the song Nick leant towards me and asked the most romantic offer, 'Would you like to play ping-pong with me?' I said, 'sure, I'm not any good but sure!' I can't remember what happened after that because I can't remember playing ping-pong but we were still in school somewhere.
We were talking and then I was somewhere else far away and I was determind to find him. I don't know why but I was collecting shells for him and I wrote this note about how I thought he was lovely and talented and how incredible I thought he was.
Then I was back at school and I searching for him trying to talk to him but I couldn't find him, and then something really odd happened. You know when things aren't tagged on youtube you can't find them under the right name? Well, nobody could find them but this guy told me they were here after I explained I had to give this letter to him.
Then I saw him walking up this road to leave and I walked beside him, and we started talking and we brushed up against each other and our hands did so too, and VERY awkwardly but really sweetly we curled our little fingers around each others. Then I turned to him and gave him the letter. He hugged me tight and then went off somewhere. But then I felt sick because I wanted to tell him I loved him and that I didn't want him to leave. I ran everywhere and then I got pushed over by these people from school I looked up and all around, but he was nowhere to be seen. I cried & cried.
That was the end, of the most wonderful dream.

Much Love,

Rosmy -xxx

p.s- not every detail was in there,(like other stuff that happened I'd be here all day if i did.)