Ok, well I've been away...
as if you noticed : ) - I even got one of those sweet little messages from blog.uk saying they missed me. How kind of them to want my random splutters of brain-juice on their site. So I thought I'd start writing again, it may help to get all the feelings off my chest while the mania and panic of 'GCSE's/coursework/exams/rehearsals/plays' is underway.
It's crazy, and I'm pretty proud of myself that I haven't had manic depression or some sort of mental breakdown. Like back in late '07, when school was too much and one day I refused to go into school and sat at home all day plucking my eyebrows to shreds up until the point where I had whisps of hair and the rest I was forced to pencil in. I looked like a very abstract chinese alien. Somehow, someway, some twat knew that I'd penciled them in when no one else noticed. I looked ridiculous and thought I'd learnt my lesson. Well, I was wrong. Appearance is important to me, and it shouldn't be as important as I insist it should, I mean I can't go out with my dreadful skin and I don't know what people will think (probably nothing at all) but I don't want to be seen barefaced. And I should be able to. Well, one day I went into school after a terrible reaction on my face to something I just used too much and it had scarred and burnt my skin. Evnethough it had made me look like I had a miniscule plastic surgery, I did it again. & again. Now, that it's been done so often it's made stretchmarks on my skin that I've been trying to get rid of with bio-oil. It's done a somewhat good job, but I wish I didn't have to mess around with myself so much. (Don't get rude now 
) I think it's the insults and the remarks and the 'bullying' i guess I got beforehand that made me alter myself. But I only wear make-up as a statement. I don't do it to hide anything, I have nothing to hide, as you can see I'm a very honest and open person.
Sometimes, I don't know who or what I am. One minute I'm confident and ready to do anything. The next I'm an ignoramus bitch who won't want to do or go anywhere.
Not really sure what to say now. I've let alot out. Oh yeah, I've recently become in pure love with Michael McIntyre. He's brilliance beyond belief and anyone who says he isn't... well keep it to yourself eh?
Oh, excited about going to see Tim Minchin in September, he's gonna be AMAZING! Should be G-R-E-A-T ! Cannot wait... but I'm gonna have to. I sort of think about like, I've got my GCSE's, & work experience first... goddamnit ! I don't mind life being complicated, just wish I had strength to get through it without crying so much!
that's all for now,
if you have any suggestions for me then I'd be welcome to consider them : )
bye, much love,
Rosmy -xxx
