Pieces Of Rainbow

Marnie:

"Marnie, we're ready for you on stage in five."

I nodded towards Cal, my stage manager/director.

I felt sick, so sick. Miley Cyrus did catch me off guard and make me feel like I was a inch tall, but I'm over it.
Sort of.

Demi was furious, and to be honest I should have been too. I was just a jittering wreck. Sobbing on the floor, holding my face in agony.

Oh shut up Marnie you baby.
It's Miley-Fucking-Hannah-Montana-Cyrus.

I breathed in deeply.
As I breathed out, the door swung open.

"We're ready for you Miss Jonas."

I nodded shakily.

I'd done five shows, excluding the one that I called off, but for some reason I felt so nervous. Obviously I tried to blame the nerves, but it was blatantly for two reasons deep in my mind.

1. Hardly anyone would show up because of the incident.
2. I'd become an epic fail and forget everything.

The lights flashed, the white flicker-tape shutters shone on me, making my every move jolted and for the first song it set the tone brilliantly.

"I'm alive, I'm alive, that's what I say!

I'm alive, I'm alive, gonna live that way!

I'm alive and I'm gonna be living today!"

As I hit the last few notes the white sheets fell from the rails and the lights turned from dark and flickering, to bright and beautiful as I began my opening speech.

"Hello everybody!"
I waved at everybody.

Wow, I forgot the arena was this big.
Screams echoed and bounced off everywhere as I was greeted by the enthusiastic sound.
It was great.

"As you may know, I cancelled a gig on Saturday due to a illness called Cyrusfuckofosis."

The whole place cheered with glee and some 'oohs' and 'boos' but after that they all screamed again.

"I apologise for an problems that may of caused anybody."
I smiled.

"So, I wrote a quick song and I hope you like it."

Gabi, my pianist started to play.

"Sometimes you think you've,
Gotten over it,
You go out and have fun,
But then you get a hit,

You fall down now,
Staring at the crowd,
You awaken,
The monster standing there,

Why, oh why?
Do have to care?
Why, oh why?
Do you have to stare?

I ain't got no time for you,
I'm on the move,
Making my dreams come true,
Without you... yeah."

As I sung the last few words, I felt my face start to tremble.
No way. Marnie control yourself.

I knew I shouldn't have sung it.
It reminded me too much of...

Too much of...

Darkness then surrounded me, my world was engulfed by nothingness.

Great. Just great. My first show back and I was already out cold.

All of a sudden lights flashed back on, and I could see the crowd again.

Then my ear piece muttered.
"Marnie, we just had some technical problems up here."

I looked towards the sound box and Gareth mouthed, 'sorry' at me.

Thank fuck for that.
I thought I was going delusional.

"Ok, sorry about that guys, someone needs a new brain."
I giggled up at the sound booth.

As I played the rest of my set I was getting to the song about... him.
I picked a guy from the audience and sung it to them, so I didn't feel the need to think about... him, whilst I was singing it.

The audience all knew what was coming.

I scanned the first section of the aisles, not many guys there, and some of them looked as if they were there with their girlfriends, I didn't want to upset anybody so I tried a guy who looked like he was on his own or with friends.

Out of the corner of my eye I spotted a lone young man. He was standing in the sidelines looking up at me in his sunglasses. He had baggy dark blue jeans on, and a grey t-shirt with a green scarf. His hair was short, but very curly. He should let it grow, then it could be a gorgeous as... his... hair.

Ugh shut up. Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to pick him, but my eyes were on him now, and to get someone else would've taken another ten minutes, searching the place.

"You." I said, firmly and directly pointing straight at this guy.

He stared, and then pointed to himself. I nodded.

Security grabbed his body and lifted him onto the stage.

I gave him a quick hug, his body was so muscular, and he had some amazing-smelling cologne on. The weird thing was, he refused to take his shades off, what? Did he have a glass eye or something?
But I didn't question it, if he wanted to wear them then fine.

"What's your name?" I asked smiling.

"Sam." He said quietly.

"So Sam, do you know this song?"
I asked as I motioned him to sit down on the stool beside mine.

He nodded.
I smiled.

"So, you can join in if you want." I grinned at him.

He half-smiled, shy guy I guess.

As I began to sing, I gripped his hand. Trying to make the song for him, and not for... the other.. him.

Marnie, shut it. This guy is waiting for you to dedicate this song to him, not to your ex-boyfriend who ripped your heart a part.

Half way through, I got up, squeezing his hand as I began to get into the intense part of the song. He followed my movements. Mouthing each word to me and I sung it.

"And now I have found,
The reason to be living,
You are here,
I am here,
That's all I need,
From now on..."

The note I hit was louder that I'd expected it to come out, my heart rate increased with the sudden anxiety of not being able to make the next note louder than the last.
Shit.
I took a big breath, and I could tell this 'Sam' saw my nerves building up.

But out of nowhere, this gusto of a note came riveting through my mouth, an impulsion I never had around anyone but ...him.

This guy was proving to be more than just a lucky audience member, he was my lucky star for the evening. The way he just stood there, making me feel so comfortable, just relaxed me.

I grabbed his arms, as I began to slowly finish my lyrics, trying desperately to see his eyes through his shady glasses.

"No other way,
To say,
You know,
It's true,
I,
Love,
You."

The last chords twinkled on the piano and the crowd cheered and I hugged Sam and he seemed to become more confident, he held me longer and with more grasp.
I spoke into the microphone as we parted from each other.
"Everybody give it up for Sam!"
I smiled as I raised his arm in the air.

As I reached for his hand to lift it upwards it collided with his glasses on his face and they fell off, shattering to the ground.

Damn, must have been some expensive shades.

I reached down to pick the parts of the glasses up off the ground, as I came back up Sam had leant down beside me trying to help, as I looked at him to hand back his sunglasses, my heart nearly stopped.

He had... his eyes.

The same eyes I looked into every day.

I had previously ignored all his other features, his jawline, hardly there and his perfectly placed lips.

Holy shit he was a replica. A clone, or something.

I tried to look for something he always wore like his dog tag.
There was nothing but a scarf around his neck.

Ok, so clear. It wasn't him, just a very scarily looking twin of him.

"Marnie." He breathed out.

Oh my god.

It was him.

"Marnie, I'm so so so sorry."

I felt his grip around me.

The whole audience gasped.

Tears made their way down my face. What the hell... what the freakin hell...

_________________________________________________________________________

"Marnie we're ready for you now."
Cal marched back in, snapping me out of my daydream, ugh falling asleep for even five minutes before a show isn't good.
I had such bad timing.

Ok, Marnie let's do this.

The set was awesome. I didn't trip on anything, not on words or anything on stage.

The last song I had to dedicate to someone to help me forget about ... him.

I spotted a guy with short curly hair and shades on.
What was with the glasses dude? Like everything a darker shade of life?
I picked him anyways, because it would've taken another year to find someone else.

His name was Sam, and I suddenly felt a shock of de ja vu. I recognized this guy.

As I ended the song and lifted his arm, I knocked his shades off his face.
Crap.
I bent down to pick them up when my head collided with his as he lent down too.
I looked up.
His eyes, bright sparkling blue and a mole right on the bridge of his nose, he was beautiful.
Just not as beautiful as...

"It's ok. I can get another pair." He smiled crookedly at me, watching the fear and embarassment in my face drain every other emotion out of me.

"I'm so sorry, I'll pay you for them."
I stuttered.

He started to shake his head, but I insisted.

"No, meet me backstage and I'll give you the money. Tell them who you are and I'll come and see you."
I said firmly.
He didn't refuse.

As he wandered back into the crowd the audience cheered.

The last song went so well.
I was filled with an uncontrollable buzz and my heart just wouldn't stop fluttering, this guy... Sam.
Saved my ass today.
He just helped me relax and feel so incre...

"Miss Jonas, we have a 'Sam' waiting for you."

I jumped up, and jolted out to the door.

"Hey Sam, here." I produced a wad of cash.

"Really, they weren't that much, no need to pay."
I still held the money in my hand, insistant he took it.

He took one note out of my hand.

"Really?" I asked.

"Really." He replied playfully.

As I went with him on his way out, I joked.
"Study that money carefully, you never know what I'd done to it... could be fake."
What the hell, stop flirting like a schoolgirl Marnie.

He grinned and walked away with a short wave.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Later that night I got four texts, one more than usual.

hey kid, hope you're doing good, your shows are getting rave reviews, keep it up chick.
Kev xx

thank you i think i'm starting fresh, nothing is gunna get me down,
MJ-xxx

The next text was from Joe, oh how I missed the boys terribly.

what's up pretty lady ? i've seen pictures from your shows... AMAZING.
you'll be a superstar in no time, not that you already aren't(: frankie misses you lots... love,
Joe x

thanks jooooseph(: i miss frankie too... i miss all of you. <3 MJ-xxx

The third, from Garbo.

hey dollface, you little rockstar you. have fun darlin, i've been listening to your tunes all day. G x

aww, i miss you loads. keep rockin' (: MJ -xxx

And lastly, the fourth from an unrecognized number.

hey marnie. it's me, sam... the one who's glasses you broke (: so you had a well thought-out plan there huh? digits on the bill, nice work. you wanna catch a movie sometime, something? eh, probably not even your number. sam x

My heart started to beat faster for some reason. This guy just had a spark, something that I've never felt before.

Ok, that's a lie.

I'm fed up with avoiding his name.

NICK.

Nicholas Jerry Jonas.

Thank god that's over with.

I felt that way with Nick all the time, every time he was close or I heard his name, a little fire flickered within me, I felt so warm and relaxed... I didn't think anyone could make me feel like that again.

Maybe it's just an excuse to get over him... yeah?

My mind went on a two-second rollercoaster before I replied.

i'd love to. i'll give you a call tomorrow, a movie sounds great. sorry about your shades...
MJ-xxx

I felt a tiny bit of the puzzle fix in my heart. I know nothing will probably come of it, but still. It was the first glimmer of hope I'd had since the break-up and I think I deserved to have a night out, or a date.

When Nick Jonas crushed me in the palm of his hand, all emotion I saw on his face was like he'd seen a toddler fall, and then he'd just watched them steady themselves, just a kinda 'oopsy daisy' look on his face.

Nick Jonas didn't give two flying fucks about me.

Marnie, what are you saying? You love him.

I loved him.

He loves you.

He loved me.

It's my turn to rebuild my life again, and I have every right to be happy.

Sam, listen up, you've got a lot to live up to.
_________________________________________________________________________

Nick:

It was everywhere. Front page of every magazine I picked up.

CYRUS HITS JONAS

MILEY MARNIE MASH-UP

JONAS K.O

MARNIE OUT COLD

JONAS IN JEPARDY

It was just too awful to think about.

Miley had always been extremely jealous of Marnie. When we were keeping it quiet for the first few years, the close friends of ours only knew about it, and of course as Marnie travelled around with us, it was the guys from Disney who saw her a lot.
When we had our cameo on Hannah Montana, Marnie watched the filming and I was expected her to be a little jealous when I said the ... line.
"Wow, you're pretty."
But afterwards she giggled and told me that she thought we were great. She also told Miley that she was an awesome actress, I loved that my girlfriend was so adorably sweet and genuine. There was never ever any bullshit with Marnie. What she said, she meant it.

But during the following days of filming, in-between takes we'd be hanging out together and I'd always be near Marnie. I'd have my arm wrapped around her or we'd be in very close contact at all times.
I noticed Miley giving Marnie nasty looks, or asking me unnecessary questions just before I was about to kiss her. Or diverting my attention to something else which was so incredibly unimportant. She just wanted my time and obviously liked me. Miley was a cool girl, but she just wasn't for me. And of course, all this attention-seeking was a big turn-off.
One time it was really pissing me off. After the last day of filming on set, when we wrapped up with the song on the beach we all went to a function room for a small wrap party and Marnie was unable to be there, she had to go back to see her older brother.

I'm not a full-on party type but I do try to loosen up when I can.
Miley was a social butterfly, flitting to everyone around the room and for a second I could see myself with her. Just for a second. Only one.
And then I realised, Marnie will always be the one for me. She's honest, understanding, loyal, passionate, caring, funny, helpful, determined and just lovely and wonderful in every way. My family loved her, and so did I.
Sure, she was stubborn, brutally honest at times, she was extremely confrontational and stuck up for us at any bad mouthing of the Jonas Brothers, even though I told her it was unnecessary she still told the haters where to go. She had a quick temper, she gets bossy when things need to be done. But through all of that...

Marnie Eloise Jonas was perfection in my eyes.

Miley came over to me and leant into me, whispering in my ear, "Hey Nick, wanna dance?"
I stuttered an "Urm..."
But she had already grabbed my hand and pulled me onto the dance floor.
"C'mon Nick!"
She kept holding onto me, twirling me and moving me to the music.
I felt so uncomfortable.
"Miley, I can't dance I think I'm just going to..."
I started to utter the words out, but as I did so she slivered her body in dancing motions to the floor beside me and wriggled her way back up sliding her back onto my chest as she came up.
For all the love that is Mike, I wished I could have been invisible.
As she tried to lean backwards onto me, I started to walk away from the dance floor. No way was this happening.

As she realised that my body wasn't there to hold her, she turned, saw me and smirked.
She reached and grabbed my arm.

"Nick, come on."
Her tone voice was demanding, but had also a hint of desperation.

"No."
I said sternly, looking at her with disgust.

Her eyes became wider, her fingers spread open to pull me in again, but I moved backwards before she could wrap her scrawny hands around mine once more.

After that, I tried to steer clear of Miley. Completely.
Until we were asked to support her in her tour.

Marnie didn't care, I loved her for being so supportive and caring. We were just doing what we love, with someone we needed to be wary of.

It was like it was impossible to be rid of her, but we just had to grin and bear it for the sake of the tour going smoothly.

After that, assumptions rose in the media about me and Miley having a relationship. I knew it hurt Marnie to see all the magazine covers spread with hurtful rumours, and I was hurt too.
But Marnie was strong, never had a seen her cry.
Well, I have once or twice, but that was because of laughter.

Oh, how I miss her laughing. It differed from time to time, sometimes it was loud and staccato and other times it was a giggle under her breath, and sometimes just a silent laugh, where she threw her head back with chuckles but no sound came from her mouth.

As I shakily picked up the magazine, I opened the page to the headline story.

JONAS K.O.

Miley Cyrus crashed Demi Lovato's party on Friday when she full-pelt hit out at Marnie Jonas (ex-girlfriend of Nick Jonas).
Sources say Miley was escorted away from the venue whilst Marnie proceeded to recover fairly quickly from the blow and began to sob.

Witnesses at the party say Jonas was deeply upset and hurt by Miley's actions and had began to feel extremely sick soon after the incident. Jonas was comforted by her good friend Demi Lovato who's party she had been attending that night.

M.J (why do they call her that?) then cancelled her show on Saturday due to illness. There have been assumptions that she still needed to get over her ordeal and get herself together.
Her publicist and manager say she should be back on the road on Monday 1st August Madison Square Garden rocking out her new mini promotional tour before her debut album release.

Wow.

It just reminded me of some of Marnie's antics when we were out together.

One night I remember clearly.

Me, Marnie, Joe, Kevin and Danielle went out on the town.

_________________________________________________________________________

FLASHBACK

"These are good fries!"
Marnie exclaimed as she popped her last fry in her perfectly shaped lips.

"I agree."
Danielle nodded in agreement.

They had become such good friends. Like sisters almost, they told each other everything and it was nice to have three girls around the house instead of just one or two.

As we walked out of the restaurant we were sure we'd had enough, and started our walk home.

"Oh my god! Look!"
Marnie pointed into a bar where multi-coloured lights flashed continuously and loud pumping music boomed from within the dark club.

"What?"
Joe smiled down at her.

She shrugged.
"Nothing... just looked so cool."

We giggled with her.

"Well, we could go in couldn't we?"
Danielle piped up.

"What?"
Kevin rested his curly head on hers.

"We could take her in, have a bit of a dance yeah?"
Dani shook her hips and took a hold of Marnie's hand.

I myself, didn't know what to say.
Maybe it'd be good for me to experience it.
Loosen up... yeah?

TWO HOURS LATER.

Dani pulled back Marnie's hair as I rubbed small circles on her back as she threw up on the sidewalk just outside the club.

"Someone messed with her drink."
Joe stated solemnly.
"I think it was this really tall blonde dude, he kept looking at her and sat on the bar stool where her drink was when she went to the bathroom. I'm gunna kill that son-of-a-bitch."
Joe turned to go in and find the bastard, but we couldn't cause any trouble.
If our parents knew we'd been into the bar, and got Marnie sick!?
That'd be a long punishment ahead of us.

I gripped my other hand around Joe's arm.
"Joe. Don't. It's not worth it, we don't want to cause trouble, imagine if this got out!?"
His eyes filled up with fear, and then he nodded reluctantly.

Marnie heaved her last bit of illness onto ground and lifted her head up.

"You ok doll?"
Dani rubbed down her shoulders, concern flooding over her face.
Marnie scrunched up her own features and nodded and shook her head at the same time.
Her body wobbling around like jelly, she couldn't maintain her stance.
"I don't know what happened."
She blubbered out.
"I'm. So. Sorry."
I knew she was drunk. Some of it still locked in her system. She was never like this, and now she'd been corrupted, but it was still Marnie in there and I was going to protect her like jewels from now on. Not that I didn't already, she was my girl.

We stumbled home, I had given up on watching Marnie flit around aimlessly and picked her up like a child and began to carry her.

By the time we were home, she'd fallen asleep.

Kevin, Dani and Joe all gave her a peck on the forehead before heading off to their rooms.

I laid her down across our beds.
We shared a room with two separate beds but we put them together for two reasons.

1. It was taking up too much space.

& 2. Well, I wanted to be close to my beautiful girlfriend.

Her long brown locks floating on the white sheets, her short clean-white summer dress made her look like an angel. I was in heaven.

I moved her upwards and under the covers, and snuggled next to her, watching her sleep.

Her chest moved slowly up and down, and I tucked a stray strand of hair behind her small ear. I gently touched the upper cartilage of her ear where she had a piercing.
I leant forward and kissed her soft, pink lips.

She still smelt of alcohol but it still had an essence of her that I adored, so I kissed her once more.

Mumbling and wriggling slightly, her perfect round brown eyes flickered open.

"Nicholas." She breathed out deeply.

"Mmm?" I answered, laying my head next to hers.

"You just kissed a drunk girl." She said, a smile creeping into her face.

"I sure did." I grinned into her face as I leant into her, giving her a small peck on the cheek.
"I kissed a drunk girl.

"What would your parents say eh?" She giggled slightly.

"Don't care."
I said simply.
"You're mine."

I snaked my arm underneath her and wrapped my arm around her small waist.
She mumbled a slight laugh, and snuggled into me.

"And you're mine."
She whispered into my chest.

"Exactly." I hushed back and kissed her on the head and stroked her hair as she gently drifted off to sleep again.
I fell asleep soon after, soothing my precious girlfriend into a dream state.

It was this moment I decided, I had the sudden urge to always protect her, to make sure she never got hurt. I made myself a promise.

_________________________________________________________________________

But I broke that promise.

I am the cause of that, and I wasn't even around to help her pick up the pieces afterwards.

I was going to her concert on Monday.
I needed to hear her voice, I needed to see her.

The only problem was, is that she couldn't see me.
_________________________________________________________________________

Marnie:

The days that passed held some of the most painful feelings I've ever felt.
The heartrending songs that my ex-boyfriend sung through the tape were not only gorgeous, but they brought back too many memories.

It's been nearly a week.

Eight songs down. I have no idea how many to go.

Tomorrow was the fresh start of my very own mini-promotional-tour, an MPT. (That's what they call it.)

I'd got everything planned, but the only thing was, most of the songs I was going to perform, were about my relationship with Nick. The songs were inspired by him and his family and the experiences I've had with them.

But I guess they could be interpreted in any way they wanted to be. Most of them were pretty general.

Every time I'd turn on the TV flashes of images of the brothers would switch on. My eyes would well up instantly.

I loved them all.
Of course, Nick and I shared something that I cannot describe in words, the feelings that I felt towards him were too extreme to speak out about.
Apart from in my songs. It was just so easy, just came flowing instantaneously out of my mouth and music was made.

I sat down on my bed, reached for the play button on the cassette player and listened.

'This song, was when we first realised we were truly made for each other.'

I sucked in a breath. The chords began, and I drifted back to the scene when we made our true love vows.

'I hold you close,
You hold me tight,
This is for real,
The feelings right,

I've never spoken,
These words before,
Promise me baby,
You'll open the door,

I love you,
It's true,
I can't hide it anymore,
I love you,
I love the way you smile,
I love how you stuck around for a while,
I love it when you call my name,
Please tell baby,

That you feel the same,

You let me go,
I pull you back,
You're gravitational,
It's a fact,

I've never spoken,
These words before,
Promise me baby,
You'll open the door,

I love you,
It's true,
I can't hide it anymore,
I love you,
I love the way you smile,
I love how you stuck around for a while,
I love it when you call my name,
Please tell me baby,

That you feel the same...

I feel like we have something more,
Than a kiss, yeah,
I feel like we should set the score,
Like this,

I love you,
It's true,
I can't hide it anymore,
I love you,
I love the way you smile,
I love how you stuck around for a while,
I love it when you call my name,
Please tell me baby,
Tell me baby,

You feel the same.'

For the first time, I didn't cry at one of the songs.
I felt happy, because I remembered the feelings I had for him on that day.

Sure, I guess I'll never be able to experience them again, and I won't feel the warmth of his body ever again... nor will I know what it feels like to feel that loved.

But I had something else now.

Music.

I took the songs as inspiration, they helped me to define my sound, and create emotion in my songs, and no matter what comes my way now, I'll have the passion and drive to get me through it.

I'm done with crying.

And although, I'll always love Nick.

No matter what he's done to me.

He'll always be special to me, and I can never forget that.
Nor can I forget his amazing family, whom without I could have never rebuilt my life the way I have.

_________________________________________________________________________

Sunrise was truly the most beautiful natural thing I've ever seen.
Apart from Nick of course.

I'd come out onto the ocean front wearing one of Nick's navy hoodies and my denim shorts. I didn't have time to search for shoes, I was afraid I'd miss the view.

As I watched the sun streaks dance across the gentle waves I felt two arms wrap themselves around the front of my chest.

There was no question to who it was.

"Hey rockstar." I leant my head up and kissed his soft cheek.

He snuggled his head into the crook of my neck and kissed me tenderly.
I tingled, as usual.

"Why are you out here all on your lonesome hey?

"I wanted to see the sunrise."
I said simply, watching the horizon.

"Why didn't you come and get me?"
He asked, he didn't sound offended, just a little sad.

"Well, I didn't want to wake you. You looked so peaceful. And anyways, you don't care about nature anyways! You hate going anywhere near the wilderness!"

I felt his smirk stretching across his face.

"True." He stated.

"But I'd of loved to of spent it with you."
His voice sounded so seductive, but he was such a romantic.

"As you say Nicholas, it's just the sun. I mean it's not our source of life or anything like that."

He laughed softly.
"Shut it you."
He tickled my sides playfully, and I wriggled in his grip.

"I'll prove to you I'm not scared of nature!"

He released his arms around me and took of his t-shirt.

"Hey, big shot Jonas! I never said you were scared. Keep your pride Nick you needn't do anything to prove to me you're a real man!"

I laughed as I watched him strip down to his boxers.

"Erm, Nicholas. Now's not the time to be a wild child. I think I see the paps on their bikes over that sandy hill!"
I giggled.

"Let them see! I, Nick Jonas is not scared of nature!"

And with that, my proud boyfriend jumped right into the freezing cold ocean.

"Oh shit." I stated humorously as I watched his head pop up victoriously from the waves he had just created.

"Help me! I forgot, I can't swim!"
Oh no you don't Jonas.

"Please won't someone save me!?"
As he flailed around in the water, I couldn't help but laugh.

"You're ridiculous Jonas!" I squealed.

I took off the hoodie, and realised I was wearing a thin yellow vest-top.
What the hell.

I ran into the waves and jumped into the ocean as if it was my long lost friend.

I felt Nick's arms lift me in the water, and I wrapped my arms and legs around him and we floated there, embracing as we dipped up and down with the current.

"Do you know what?"
Nick hushed quietly.

"First of all Nick. No one else is around to hear us. And, what is it you crazy boy?"

"Ok then." He stated in a louder voice.
But nothing could of prepared me for what was coming next.

"MARNIE ELOISE JONAS! I LOVE YOU!"

He screamed at the top of his lungs, he made my whole body vibrate and tingle with excitement.

"Nick!" I half squealed-screeched.

"What?" He grinned that adorable open-mouthed grin and I melted.

My voice toned right down, it was tender soft, and what I was about to say I couldn't of meant more.

"I love you too."

We both smiled at each other, and I pressed myself forwards and we kissed.
Soft, tender, meaningful kisses that I would of exchanged the world for.

"Marnie."

Nick breathed out as our lips came apart from each other's.

"There's no one else I'd rather be with than you. You mean the world to me, you mean everything, and I'm so lucky to have you. There is no one else you compare to..."

I stared at him.

"I'd rather be with you."

My mouth crept into a big grin, my head fell onto his shoulder and I flicked my head back to look at this casanova right in the eye.

"You have no idea how much you mean to me, without you... I'd be nothing. I'd lose everything."
My forehead fell gently against his, tears starting to sting my eyes as the salty ocean water began to grow with strength.

"No Marnie. Without you, I'd be lost. I promise you baby, I'll never leave you, ever. You will always mean the world to me, no matter what."

I breathed out in awe.

"No matter what?"

"No matter what."
He replied simply, and kissed my hairline.

"Come on you little water baby, I think it's time we got out of here."
I giggled and he kissed my cheek.

He carried me out of the water and dropped me down onto the sand carefully when we reached the water's edge.

We were soaking wet, no surprise really, what did I expect after being in the ocean?

He picked up his clothes and dried himself quickly, he was still dripping.

He then picked up his hoodie that I'd thrown onto the sand and wrapped it around me.

"Why do you insist on wearing my clothes? I'm not saying you don't look good, because well you always look good but... they are always miles too big for you!"

I looked down at his attire on my body.

"I don't care. And anyways they're most comfortable."
I said beaming up playfully at him.

"Oh really? Comfortable you say?"
He smiled at me.

All of a sudden he picked me up with such force I let out a small stifled scream and held underneath the tops of my thighs and pecked my chin as I was above his level for once.

He proceeded to tickle me all the way back up to our apartment. I couldn't do anything, I was trapped in the arms of a Jonas.

A Jonas in a Jonas, who'd of thought it?

Hey, none of your innuendos' ok?

Joe watched us stumble in as Nick threw me onto the sofa.

"Where have you two rascals been then?"
He said in a sing-song voice.

"Nowhere. Just to the moon and back."
Nick's smile gleamed over on me, and it really was out of this world.

Joe ruffled my damp hair.

"Hmm, if I didn't know any better I'd say you'd been swimming."
Joe bantered.

"Well, swimming isn't really the word."
Nick laughed.

"Yeah, Nick can't really swim can he?"
Joe chuckled.

"Wait, Nick. You really can't swim?"
I smiled, and I knew his and his brother's grin meant torture for me.

I was suddenly attacked by two Jonas' and I was unable to stop my self from laughing.

Frankie wandered in from his bedroom.

"Frankie. Back off!" I half-yelled at him as he came closer.

"This is too good to pass, the million times you get me!"
Frankie lunged forward and joined his brothers.

This went on for about... ten minutes?

We all ended up on a laughing heap on the floor.

Joe got a hold of Frankie's hand and they went into the kitchen for some breakfast.

Nick rolled over so we were facing each other.

"I'm so glad you're in this family. We all love you, you know."
Nick placed a small kiss on the end of my nose.

"I love them all too."
I smiled.

He stroked my hair.
"Want some breakfast?" He questioned me.

"I'm so glad you asked! I'm starving!"
We giggled and went to eat the most satisfying breakfast I'd had in a long time.

_________________________________________________________________________

The audience loved my set.

They love the songs.

And, oddly, and weirdly enough. I think they may love me?

Not only girls were in the crowd but guys too, which I appreciated alot because most of my stuff is real gushy and heartfelt.

But hey, I can't complain!

It was a wondrous night, simply the best time I'm had in so long.

"Marnie! You rocked it chick!"

Demi came along to see my first show.
Yes, the Demi Lovato.

She pulled me into a hug.

"Thanks Dem!" I smiled at her.

"So, how're you doing?"

"Oh I'm fine, and this show has certainly set me straight again."

"Good for you girl. Hey, wanna come to my party tonight, it's in about an hour, but you look gorgeous anyway! Meet you here?"
She handed me a slip of paper.

"Sure." I grinned.

Life was just getting better and better, like I said, sewing itself together again so fast, I must be better at knitting than I thought!

I got in my bus, and instructed Dave (my driver) to the location.
When I opened the door paparazzi cameras flashed rapidly into my eyes, I held my hand up and walked into the doors.

Everything looked so familiar, but I was sure I'd never been here before.

I spotted Demi.

"Hey, hey Miss Lovato, you look great!" I grinned and hugged her excitedly.

"Likewise babe." And she grinned her beautiful signature smile.

All of a sudden I felt I hard hit against my head.

And before I could take it the pain, I was on the floor.

I stared up, everything seemed to be spinning. My vision blurry and out of focus.

"What the hell did you do to Nick you nasty little bitch!"

I recognized that voice anywhere.
The southern twang, the gorgeous brown hair flowing from her head. The attire nowhere near suitable for someone her age.

Miley Fucking Cyrus.
_________________________________________________________________________

Lianna:

"Look at the fish, if you poke the... the glass they go round... move."

Everyone's drunken state was rubbing off on me, I'd only had three bottles and I'd already fallen through the trampoline springs, nearly made out with a friend's brother after knowing him five minutes, smacked someone in the face, spun the bottle and ending up kissing countless people, danced like a fool, and now, I was poking the glass on the fish tank.

Lucy joined me distressing the fish, and I then went to the toilet for about the tenth time tonight.
It was already morning really.

2:23AM.

Everyone was still going strong, it was getting freezing cold as the wind whipped through the open door where every once in a while someone would step out to talk with each other.

"Close the fucking door!"
I screamed as I slammed it shut.

Suddenly a figure stood in front of me. I was sat down on the floor beside some friends but I can't recall who.

"Hey." I said, when I hadn't even met the person's eyes yet.

"Hey, you ok?"
He had curly brown hair and dazzling brown eyes.

"Yeah." My head swayed limply in a sort-of nodding motion.
I recognized him, but there's no way I've met him before.

I pointed my finger up at him,
"Are you from ... America?" My words stuttered out.

"Yeah." He smiled, his teeth glinted in the bright light above us.

"Cool." I nodded, and gave a thumbs up and ran into the kitchen to find my play-mate Charles.

He was sat on a stool,
"Li!"
His fingers reached out spreading themselves back and forth, I wandered over to him and fell in his grip as he turned me around so I was sat on his lap.
His snuggled his head into the crook of my neck,
"You're a bit out of it aren't you?"

I faked a gasp.
"No! I'm fine, I'm completely...sober."

"Yeah right Croft." Toby mocked from across the room.

"You can't talk, your so off your face you couldn't even remember whether you kissed Gemma or not!"

His face was a picture.

"Oh yeah, I went there!" I laughed as I swayed back into Charles' grip.

He was just under two years younger than me, but he acted so much older.
He looked older two, everyone needed someone like him in their life.
Cute, straight and totally uninterested in me whatsoever.

He was so caring, sweet and adorably lovely in every way.
And I'd given him his first drink tonight. Which him and myself enjoyed a lot.

Everyone after that was a bit of a blur.

I was just talking and complaining about the cold and then I ended up on the sofa and this is where I remember everything.

I'd ended up spread on the edge of the sofa, while my American acquaintance whom I'd met earlier, was sat with my legs over him as I sobbed.

"I'm so sorry."

"What are you sorry for?"

This conversation went backward and forward for about five minutes.

"I regret so many things, I'm just so horrible sometimes... I don't want to grow up and be nasty. I'm a bad person."
My voice stuttered and bubbled as I spoke.

"It's ok, you're not a bad person."
His voice was foreign to me, but somewhat soothing.
Ugh, why did I have to make this impression?
An emotional drunken wreck?

His fingers slid through my hair and he began to stroke my forehead and trace the shape of my eyebrows.

I was so comfortable, he made me feel so relaxed. Nevertheless I was still crying, his thumb wiped away the tear from the corner of my eye and he played with my fingers and still calmly moved his fingers along the top of my head.

"We all have regrets. But I believe regrets are mistakes you don't learn from. From what I can see, you'll learn from everything you do. Look at you now. If you're telling me this it shows you care. And I have no idea who you are or what our name is, I don't know anything about you. But I can tell you're an amazing person. Don't forget that."

His fingers moved up and down the line of my body. Making me tingle all over.

"What's your name?" I whispered through my last pathetic sobs.

"Nick, what's yours?" He hushed back.

"I'm Lianna. But everyone calls me Li or Lia."
Like he need to know that!? I was just babbling.

"It's really cold." I said simply.

"Yeah." He answered.

Together we slumped down onto the floor, I reached for my flowery sleeping bag.
He reached out onto the sofa and brought down a pillow.

"Here." He put the pillow under my head. He turned his body away from me, and curled up.

Quietly, I unzipped the sleeping bad so it was now a duvet and I whipped it into the air and it rested perfectly over Nick and I.

He turned back around.
"You don't have to, it's your sleeping bag, I should have brought something."

"No, no." I mumbled, I was still drunk but I assure you, I was sobering up.

He turned back around once more snuggling closer now we were under the same blanket.

His body felt hot next to mine, his muscles bulged out of his woollen jumper and t-shirt.

Abruptly, the next two hours that came were full of on and off cold unbroken sleep.

Tom, Alex and Rachel were still pissing about and as we watched two films on the run, 'Role Models' & 'Forgetting Sarah Marshall', Nick had leaned on his back, his hands behind his head, and that was invitation enough for me to snuggle into his chest. He didn't seem to mind. At one point one arms came down to hold my hand that rested on his heavily breathing torso.

At seven in the morning, everyone had finally started to go to sleep. Whilst in those hours Tom had ran out of the house and gone down the road after attempting to take some alcohol from the family's wine rack, Jodie had gotten hysterical over knocking over a cactus, Harriet gave us all a scare when we got so worried about her because of her diabetes, which I found out that my new friend Nick had as well and comforted her about it.

My feet were so cold. Suddenly, my arm reached over his shoulder and it hung over his side. He groaned slightly, then grabbed my hand and held it tight.

We then fell asleep. Together.
_________________________________________________________________________

In the morning reality had snapped back in.

I realised exactly who I'd fallen asleep with.

His older brother knocked at the door at 9AM sharp.

No one else seemed to hear it.

I stumbled out of Nick's grip and made my way to the door. I looked at state. My dark eye make up was smudged half-way down my face from crying, and my hair all over the place like I'd been sitting on an electric fence for an hour.
I'd changed into my overly-sized Giorgio Armani navy tee, and my pink chick covered fleecy pyjama bottoms.

I didn't know if her parents would approve of me answering the door at this time, especially since it wasn't my house but whatever.

I opened the door, and my eyes flickered for a few moments.

A wide smile greeted me, along with a dark head of hair and the same eyes I'd been looking at hours ago.

"Hey sweetie. Can you get Nick? We have to go really soon."

I rubbed my eyes.

I looked over at the huge bus that was pulled up on the gravel.

Oh. My. Fucking. God.

The Jonas Brother's design was printed on the side of the car, and my eyes switched back to the one who was standing in front of me.

"Erm, yeah. Sure." My voice slurred, but the only excuse I could now give was that I was in awe. Starstruck.

The Jonas Brothers were outside.

And I'd just slept with one of them.

Not like that yeah?

_________________________________________________________________________

"I can't believe you remember it so well."
Joe smiled at me as the whole Jonas clan looked at me in awe as I told the story how Nick and I met.

Ok, so I didn't go into every detail. I certainly didn't tell them I was off my face.
Just slightly hyper...

As I sat on my fiancé, I looked down at the ring on my finger, it was beautiful.

I leant back and kissed him on the cheek. He returned and wrapped his arms around my body.

My life was bliss.

I had my family, the Jonas family, my friends, and my wonderful groom-to-be.

"I remember it too well." Nick whispered in my ear.
I smiled as my body creased up into his.

The night he propose to me, felt like the night we met.

We snuggled together, breathing in-sync.

I was now twenty one and Nick was nearly twenty three.

We gripped each others hands and sighed in unison.

Nick kissed my lips softly and then sent me off into my lullabyes with a final goodnight. Then he whispered gently, barely audible.

"Who knew a love like this could of started at a drunken Halloween party?"
_________________________________________________________________________

Nick:

I kissed her forehead, and walked away from the best thing that's ever happened in my whole life. I hated that part.

I couldn't bare to see her like that. I've never seen her cry. Well I did once, but it was because she was laughing so much. She had a great laugh, I'd do anything to make her smile.

I couldn't believe what I was doing. But it had to be done. It was for her own good.
When ... IT happens...she won't be as heartbroken as she was going to be now.

She stood there for ages after I'd returned to my car. I'd sat in there just watching her. Her eyes just staring at the grass. Her beautiful brown hair whipping in the wind looked so dramatic, I wanted to run back to her and cradle her in my arms and tell her it was joke and everything was fine.
But everything wasn't fine. What was going to happen in the near future, I dread and I fear. I couldn't let Marnie be a witness to it. She needed to be rid of me.
I loved her so much.
Too much.
Then I saw her turn, and I sat still so she wouldn't notice the car.
Then, she turned back and bent down to pick something up.
The tape. Thank God.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

When I arrived home, Joe was the first to confront me.

"So, did you tell her?"

I nodded slowly. My eyes not wanting to admit the terrible thing I'd just done to my wonderful girlfriend. Well, ex-girlfriend.

"Nick, do you want me to go and see her? Just so your mind is at rest?"

My eyes averted upwards, stunned at his offer.

"That would be amazing."
I almost smiled as a flush of relief went through my body.

"But what if she asks something like why you broke up with her, I don't want to be saying anything I shouldn't."
He was right.

"Tell her, if she asks. That I was with someone else."

Joe's eyes widened.

"You sure?"
I had to be sure, it was least painful thing I could lead her on to believe.

"Yeah." I nodded and he pulled me into a hug.
He was a great brother, always there when needed.

"It'll be ok Nick." He hushed.

Only it wasn't going to be ok, nothing was.
I just hope it was for Marnie, I couldn't bear the thought of her in pain and sorrow.
After all that's why I broke up with her.
To save her the hurt and mourning.

"Tell her, to listen to a song a day, on the cassette. I think it may ease her pain. And mine too, to know that she's taking it slow. It'll be a comfort... you know?"
I quivered in his hold.

I looked out of the raindrop embedded window as Joe left to see Marnie.

A million and one thoughts riveted through my brain.

Life was beautiful, Marnie was the love of my life and I was sure I was going to spend the rest of my life with her.

But then, I was given an ultimatum. Something I couldn't say no to.
The other option would be beyond selfish and cruel.

My family respected my decision, even though they themselves were going to be put through hell when the evil ordeal reached me.

For the past week I'd known about my fate, what was to happen. I've come to terms with the fact that I had to do what I felt was right.

So, I decided to record everything I felt for Marnie onto tape.
She was the only person I could think of that still owned a cassette player, and I thought it would be perfect, so only she was able to listen to it.

Every single emotion I've felt since I'd been with Marnie, I sung about, using one song that reminded me of the best of times with her.

That song, just let her known how much she means to me, how special she was and how special she will always be.

_________________________________________________________________________

I heard Joe arrive back.

I'd been laying on my bed for hours. Just thinking about what was to become of me.

What was going to happen?

How would the public cope with it, how would they react?

Leading Marnie to believe I was with someone else, was torture in itself.

All I wanted her to do, was to forget.
So she wouldn't feel regret or guilt or anything when it came to the ...

I'm also scared shitless.

My family's life was never going to be the same. Ever again.

I didn't know how to put into words the worry and excruciating heartache I felt every second of the day.

When I had to say goodbye to Marnie, it was the worst pain I've ever felt. The pain exceeding through her eyes, that I'd never thought I'd see. She was dumbstruck, and so was I.

I just want to go back to the start. Have those feelings again, relive the precious moments I'll never get back.

The way she smiled at any mildly worthy of a grin. How her laugh differed from time to time. How her eyes glowed a beautiful shade of brown in the light. The way her body felt went it was close to mine. How she always smelt so wonderful. And how she always knew how to cheer me up.

She was the best of the best. No one I met could compare to her.
Her nature was of someone who I could only imagine about. I found it hard to sleep at night because reality was finally better than my dreams.

Marnie Eloise Jonas was part of me, like breathing. Now half of me has left my soul and I can't contemplate how to carry on.
But I'll have to.

For my families sake, and hers.

_________________________________________________________________________

Tomorrow we were off on the road again. Touring the whole of the U.S and a few dates in the UK.

It's hard trying to focus on my career, especially since Joe has only just told me about what happened with Marnie.

I didn't want to warn anybody about anything.

It would just make it harder for both me and the public. Nothing should be any different.

Sure it may come as a shock, but I don't want an interlude running up to the fateful day.

As I packed, I found a photo. It was a bit crumpled up, but I could see clear as day the memories from the picture.

_________________________________________________________________________

"Nick, come on, it'll be fun."
Marnie tugged at my sleeve and pulled me onto the largest rollercoaster in the theme park.

"I just ate." I bantered with her, smiling at her lips starting to curl.

"Well, just vomit the opposite direction to me." She giggled.

Believe me, there was no point in compromising or arguing with Marnie.
She was so stubborn, but it's one of things I love about her.

As the force of the ride made my stomach do countless flips, I held onto Marnie's arm, snuggling right up next to her as we flew around the air.

As the ride began to slow down, I leant towards her and kissed her temple.
Her eyes flickered up at me, her eyes smiling more than her mouth.

Then, ever so quickly, she bounced upwards and pecked my cheek.
She grinned, and hopped off the ride and ran towards the carousel.

"Hey you!" I finally caught up with her, wrapping arms together at the front of her torso.

Her eyes were locked on a couple, holding onto each other on a colourful and decorated carousel horse.

"You wanna have a go?" I said gently and quietly in her ear.

"Yeah." She whispered, no more than a hush as I took her hand and led her into the line.

As we went up and down and round and round, I felt her skin begin to prickle.

I leant over her and held her tight.
Our bodies meshed together, watching the world around us spinning, as if we were the only ones left.

Her chest moved up and down as she breathed heavily. Her eyes clamped shut suddenly, and I rested my head on her shoulder.

"What is it?" I asked softly.

"You." She answered simply.

"You're too perfect for words. Utterly indescribable and so beautiful in every single way."

With those words ringing through my ears, I kissed her cheek.

"I know, we've only been together properly for six months now, but I've already decided."
I whispered in her ear.

"What?" She shifted her head slightly so it leant on mine.

"You're perfect for me too." As my grin creased into her emerging smile, I felt like life was complete.

I had my wonderful family. An amazing career. And a simply perfect girlfriend.

And on that day, I realised how lucky I was, and how life had turned into incredibly cool, to unimaginable bliss.

When we jumped off our horse, (from the carousel) I whipped out my camera and held it up high above our heads.

"What are you doing?" She asked as she gripped my arm.

"Being spontaneous." I grinned.
"And kissing you." With that, I bent slightly and kissed her impeccably soft pink lips, and I clicked my camera as I did so.

"A picture?" She asked pondering.

"A memory." I replied with a smile.

She nodded and returned the smile.

As we started to walk back hope she leant on me, getting more and more tired.

"Come on sleepy head." I grabbed her belt bands on her jeans and lifted her upwards onto me. She wrapped both her arms and legs around me, and I carried her back home.

That night, we slept side by side. Fully clothed, and damp from the rain that surprised us just as we made it back.
She still smelt beautiful, and even with her eye makeup smudged and half of it running down her face, she looked gorgeous.
Her breathing rate started to slow, as she became in her dream state and I wrapped my arms around her.

"I love you." I whispered and kissed her cheek.

"Mmmm." She mumbled in her sleep a few seconds after.

It was the best 'I love you too' I ever heard.

_________________________________________________________________________

As I jumped onto the tour bus, and we drove past Marnie's house. It seemed dead almost, the lights were all off and the curtains drawn before the darkness came.

I blinked. A few tears that I hadn't even noticed that were coming, fell from my face.

My heart did a thousand beats in a second, and I laid back onto the sofa.

I breathed out.

Kevin poked his head round the door.
"Hey Nick, we were thinking of writing some new songs... you game?"

Now was the time. Couldn't of asked for a better invitation.

Marnie:

There he was.

His dark curls a mess upon his head, and his tanned skin wet from the rain.

"Joe?" My voice was barely a whisper. Why was he here?

My eyes suddenly started to well again, Joe's face was a sullen saddened picture, his eyes just as empty as my own.

"Marnie, I need to talk to you."
I nodded, tears falling from my face, he seemed shocked by this, I never cried in front of them, ever.

I pulled his hand so we were both standing in the narrow hallway.
I blubbered a stutter of a cry and I found myself in Joe's arms.
He gripped my waist tightly, pulling me upwards onto his body.

We manoeuvred our way to my bedroom, both resting on my bed as we recoiled from each other.

"Marnie," Joe began.
What is it with people addressing me with my name so often all of a sudden? It's not helping explain this awful dilemma at all.

"Nick has done this for your own good. He doesn't want to hurt you any further, he just wants you to carry on with your life without him. It's for the best."

I didn't understand. Nick was my world. There's nothing else I wanted... needed in my life but him. The only logical explanation is that he'd been with someone else, afraid to tell me and now wants to scurry way in shame and not face the consequences.

What an asshole. We were standing there in the rain, our clothes damp, our hair wet and our two bodies moving together as one. Well, he wanted to go out with a bang.

This was majorly unfair. If he didn't want to be with me, we could have talked it out, something that made SENSE.

"He was with someone else wasn't he?"
My voice shuddered at the thought of Nick holding someone else. Kissing another girl's lips. Wrapping his strong arms around their waist...

"Yes." Joe answered simply.

I sighed. I knew it. It's the only reason that seemed plausible.

"Then why has he given me this shitting cassette tape?"

I pointed at the cassette player that still was set on pause/play.

"I guess he thought it would help ease your hurt. A comfort. I'm not entirely sure."
Joe's voice didn't seem fully committed to the words he was saying, I'm not sure if I believed him or not, but I guess I had to, there wasn't much else in the world that I could truly believe in anymore.

"Well, he can have it back!" I half-yelled in anger and ejected the tape and brandished it towards Joe.

"No, Marnie. You have to keep it."
Joe's hands waved outwards, palms facing me. When people show their palms, it's a sign of honesty. Truthfulness, and I guess I did need to keep the cassette for whatever reason.

I placed it back in the player.

"Listen to one song a day. It'll be easier."
He said, his voice growing softer.

"Look sweetie,"
I adored it when he called me that. He was a great big brother. I loved him to pieces and was truly awesome.

"I'll keep in contact, and I know it's going to be hard. Kevin, Frankie, our parents, Big Rob, the band and I all want to keep in touch with you."

I nodded, my head falling slowly to face my crossed legs.

He cupped my chin in his hands and looked right at me. Wow. He had Nick's eyes.
Oh shut up Marnie. Nick's gone. It's all you now.

"Babe, we'll always be here for you, you're our little sister, and Frankie's big sister. You are a part of our lives that we are not going to give up as easily."

I nodded, another tear rolled down my face.
He wiped it away with his thumb and kissed my cheek.

"You'll be fine. Trust me." He breathed softly.

And I guess I had to.

We sat and cuddled each other for a few minutes before I said my goodbyes to him

"Tell the family I love them." I said as he stood at my front door.

"I will." He smiled.

I smiled my best forced smile back at him. I waved, and he did the same as he walked off into the weather which had settled down surprisingly, since he'd made an appearance at my house.

One song a day. Ok then. I've had my fill for today, but I was desperate to just listen to one more before tomorrow.

I couldn't resist. Well, could you?

I hit play.

'Hey baby, I know you know that you should be taking a break from listening to these songs. If I didn't know you, you'd be one of those people who'd be too angry to listen to anymore right now. But I know you Marnie, and you want to hear another.'

Oh my god. He knew me like the back of his hand. It was kind of strange how he'd said that I should be 'taking a break' from listening to the songs. It was just like Joe had said. Weird.

A few chords were played and his gorgeous voice erupted from the speakers.

'My darlin',
You are my life,
But I've made so many mistakes,
It's time that I,
Should come to say,
Why you make me feel this way,
And why I went,
Behind the scenes,
And dishonoured your trust,
Oh baby please,
It's not what you think,
But honesty is a must...'

My heart melted. Why didn't he just tell me? It wasn't torture listening to the song, but it broke a tiny bit more of my heart to say the least.

'We've gone through so much,
I melt at your touch,
And I hope you feel the same,'

Oh believe me, boy I do.

'We'd stand side by side,
Together with pride,
Oh, I hope you feel the same,

Oh, why is everything so confusing?
Maybe I'm just out of my mind?
But I love you,
I really do,
Please,
Don't cry...'

Too late, my sheets were damp with my tears long before those lyrics boy.

'I need you to know,
I'm sorry,
I really am,
Please,
Just fly...

My love,
Spread your wings,
It's time you flew solo,
I've been holding you back for so long,
Just open your mouth,
Scream and shout,
Tell them what your all about,

I'm sorry for this,
Whatever I've done,
I just need you to run like the wind,
And show the world,
To the world,
Sing,
Your heart out...'

He always told me he loved my voice. I'd written songs for him on the piano and guitar and he told me the lyrics were incredible.
I never quite believed him, but if that's what I have to do to forget him, then so be it.

I stopped the tape.
The phone began to ring.

"Hello?" I said, my voice still slightly hoarse from the crying.

"Hello is that Marnie Jonas?" I didn't recognise their voice, but it was man.

"Yes it is, who's calling please?"

"I'm Lucas Hunter and I've spoken with your manager and agent."

"Oh?" I said, trying not to sound to eager, but this sounded beyond exciting.

"We want you to go on a small tour for about three months, seeing how the public respond to your music, and then we'll arrange details for you to record your first album."

My heart skipped a beat. I've always wanted to be a performer, always. And now it just came along, I guess as the old saying goes.
When one door closes, another one opens.

"That sounds incredible. How is this being arranged?"

"We'll meet up in a day or two, your manager should call tomorrow and we will explain everything, I hope your ready for this Miss Jonas."

"Oh I am. Thank you so much."

"No, thank you." I heard a smile creeping in his voice.

And with that, Lucas Hunter the answer to my prayers hung up.

This was going to be awesome.

_________________________________________________________________________

FLASHBACK

Nick's eyes never left mine, even though I kept looking down at the strings on the guitar.

'Just need you to know,
I'll always be here,
No matter where you go,
Or what you fear,
I'll always be here...'

I plucked the last few strings and Nick smiled.

"Marnie, it's beautiful."
My lips formed into a smile.

"And so are you!"
He leant forwards and moved the guitar that was placed on my lap and moved on top of me and started to caress me with countless kisses.

"I freakin' love you Jonas."
I said, in between the pecks he made over my skin.

"I freakin' love you too Jonas."
I felt a smile on his kisses and it made me giggle.

He was the best damn thing.

Falling slowly for Nick Jonas isn't possible.

You fall fast, and land hard.
But luckily he's got the best safety net I could have asked for.

He picked me up and spun me around a dozen times and then proceeded to try and dance the jive with me.

"Jiving Jonas can we stop being so energetic!?" I had squealed as he twirled me around.

"Sorry, I can't stop, the Red Bull has got to me!" He laughed as he twisted me this way and that before we fell onto the the floor together.

He rolled over, found my hand and lay, peaceful on the grass.

"You love it out here don't you?"
He said quietly.

I nodded.
"Nature is beautiful. All the colours, the shapes, the music..."

"Music?" He lifted his head up to look at me.

"Yeah. Music. Ever heard the crickets sing? The wind whistle? The snowflakes whisper gently in the snow?"
I sounded sappy, but nature was amazing, I admired it a lot. And one of the reasons I like to take pictures of it. I'm a very naturistic photographer.

"You're awesome Marnie, you sound so poetic."
I couldn't tell if he was making fun of me or being deadly serious, it may have been a mixture of the two.

All the same, he rolled closer to me and his lips clamped onto my shoulder making me crease up as he nibbled my shoulder blade.

We laid there, holding each other as the bright sunshine beamed down on us.

I know, Ms Sun I know. I've made the perfect choice.

_________________________________________________________________________

Later that night, I got three texts.

The first one from Kevin:

'hey babydoll, how are you holding up?
Kev xx'

I replied,
'hey big bro, i'm not too bad. trying to just get on with it. but i've got some exciting news, call you tomorrow love you lots,
-xxx'

The second from Garbo:

'hey sweetie, keep smiling you lovely girl. we're always here for you.
x'

'thanks, your such a babe. keep rocking your socks off (:
-xxx'

And last, the third one. From Joe.

'i heard from our manager about you landing the tour(: well done gorgeous, hoping to hear your tunes on the radio soon xx'

I smiled. Life had just been ripped apart from the seams and then suddenly it's being sewn as fast as it can back together again.

'thank you beauty, and i hope so too(: i can't wait, life is just going through the roof, love you lots, -xxx'

I'm not going to forget Nick. I can't forget him.
Not with all the love songs I've written him which are heavily featured in the line-up of the tour.

Shit.

I almost forgot about all the love songs I have to listen to on the tape.

This is going to be a long tour.

_________________________________________________________________________

Marnie:

My eyes were red and swollen. I hadn't taken my eyes off the coloured red heart 'o' in the word 'love' on the tape.

I was on my back, laying on my bed, admiring the cassette.
I was probably the only person left to still have a cassette player, and it still being able to function.

I turned over on my front. I felt my ribs protruding through the sheets. They were also sore and ached from me sobbing so much.

I reached under my bed without looking, I knew just where it was.
I pulled out the electric pink and yellow cassette player I'd customised, and pressed the open button.

It flicked out so delicately, and looked as good as new, not as if it had been under my bed for months, gathering dust.
I placed in the tape. Hit play. And listened.

His voice sounded slightly muffled, but what can you expect on a cassette tape?

'Marnie baby,' my heart beat quickened. He can make me feel so incredible even if it is just his voice.

'These songs tell the story of why I have to let you go.'
And just when I thought I'd been dehydrated from my tears, a few more dripped pathetically from my face.

I heard him strum his guitar, and it made me picture how gorgeous he looks with it, his hands dancing along the neck of the instrument like they were born to be together, like him and I... were.

'The first song is about how you make me feel, Marnie, you have no idea how much I love you.'

Then why did you leave me you bastard?!

The song that started, was one he always used to play to me. Not him playing it personally, but I remember once, we were on a long plane ride and he kept it on a loop on his iPod as we shared the headphones.

As he began to sing the first few words my eyes started to pour again.

'Give me more lovin' than I've ever had,
Make it all better when I'm feeling sad,
Tell me that I'm special even when I know I'm not,
...
Make me feel good when I hurt so bad,
Best that I've had, I'm so glad that I found you,
I love bein' around you,
You make it easy, it's as easy as 1, 2, 1, 2, 3, 4...'

As the song continued to play, my whole body was now on a rollercoaster of emotions.

That plane journey was one of the best memories I have.
_________________________________________________________________________

FLASHBACK

Nick had a hold of both my wrists while trying to plant me with tingling kisses over the base of my neck. I was wriggling around in the window seat of the plane as he was attacking me with affection.

"Will you two love birds stop be so adorable?"
Joe had leant over our seats, ruffled Nick's hair and playfully wiggled his fingers under my chin.

"Jonas, go back to your own seat, your just jealous."
I mocked, beaming up at my annoying so-called-sort-of brother. Kevin, Joe and Frankie were all like brothers to me, we were always so close and it was always like a family.

"I will, Jonas."
He grinned at me and walked back to his seat.

It was funny how we both had the same surnames. It was just another reason for Nick and I to believe we were made to be together.

As Nick continued to make me giggle under his kisses, his sweet warm breath prickling my skin, and his curls brushing softly against my face, I couldn't help but think how lucky I am to have him in my life.
We were always together, by each other's side, day-in day-out.
Those days when we were a part were the most painful days of my life.
We could have deep, meaningful conversations and they really did mean something to us, we were able to understand each other, when no one else could. We knew when we could play around together acting like those seven year olds we once were. We understood when to be sensible and when to act all crazy and silly. It was a bond I never could never put my finger on, but it didn't matter, because it worked perfectly.

I truly had the most amazing life.

After the countless kisses, he pushed my hands down beside me resting both ours on top of each other's on the seat.
He leant forward, planting a small kiss on my forehead. Retracting slowly he looked deep into my eyes. Our foreheads met, and our noses were just touching one another's.
"I love you." He whispered.
"I love you." I whispered back.

Suddenly, his fingers wriggled around my waist, squeezing and tickling every part of my body.
As he did this, he smiled. He told me he lived to see me happy. My body, as ticklish as it was, exploded with tingles and excitement and I moved my own fingers jabbing at his waist but it had no effect. Damn him and his beautifully toned torso.
My giggling was attracting some attention from the Jonas clan. As they all walked past to their seats they smiled and laughed at the sight they saw.

When he stopped making me laugh, the buzz that was electrifying through my veins hadn't stopped. Everything he did to me was like shock of euphoria. He was like my heroin, I needed him. He was so addictive and it was scary how dependent I was on him at times.
I was independent. You know, I was able to go and buy some milk by myself, but I mean, no milk-buying trip is as good when it's with Nick.

We snuggled together, our heads resting on each others.

"It's going to be a long trip."
He said, his slight smile creasing into my face.

"Mmm. Well, it's good that I get to share it with you."
I replied, not expecting any unusual response from him.

"What?" He pulled himself backwards a bit, so we were looking at each other.

"Well, I'd rather share it with you than anyone else."
I grinned and we knocked into each other's heads again gently.
I kissed his hairline and smoothed back his curls.
He tucked my hair behind my ear and placed a small kiss on the crease of my eye.

He put on his iPod, us sharing the earphones.
We jammed for about half an hour to some amazing tunes, and then we were getting tired.

"Hey, this song is the perfect lullaby for you."
His lips stretched into a smile and he clicked onto the 'Plain White T's' album. I scrunched up my face, not really being into them that much.

The song started to play and I immediately fell in love with it.
He kept it on a loop, and by the end of it, I was singing the lyrics in my dreams.

I awoke to little pecks on my face.

"Wakey, wakey Marnie baby." I flickered open my eyes and smiled at Nick's face.

"Good to see you this happy, this early Jonas." He winked at me.

"Mmm." I mumbled I stretched out my arms and I felt his hands grip underneath me.

"What are you doing Jonas?" I said, my voice playful and drousy.

He lifted me into a cradling position and started to carry me off the plane.

"Nice baggage." I heard Kevin chuckle as he stroked my shoulder.

My eyes opened to see Joe looking right at me.

"Is little Marnie tired?" He mocked in a baby voice.

"Is baby Joey a borderline tard?" I said in the same voice, and held his chin with my fingers.

"Good to see you still have your humour in the early hours of the morning babe."
Joe smiled and pecked my cheek.

Nick carried me into a bus and we laid down together on a sofa/seat. He ran his fingers through my hair, and kissed my cheek tenderly.
Denise came through and smiled.

"You kids are beautiful. Don't let that go." And with that, she grinned widely, and walked out.

We were all so close. The Jonas family felt like they were my own.

I really loved my life.

It was brilliant.

________________________________________________________________________

'1,2,3,4,
I love you.'

As the song finished my eyes were even bigger than before, as if that was possible.

I paused the tape, and pondered around my room. The pictures that were framed of me and Nick were placed every empty space on my wall.
As a joke, I'd also framed articles about Nick and I which were totally untrue and they made us laugh when we realised how absurd they were.

But then there were two articles that Nick had always assured me were utter lies.

I stood up on my bed and brushed my fingers over them.

Miley and Selena.

'NILEY HOOK-UP'

'Nick Jonas and Miley Cyrus have been spotted together holding hands and looking very loved-up. The pair have since been seen at restaurants with each other, having fun backstage and Miley even kissing her rumoured-boyfriend on stage in one of her concerts.'

Nick told me he never thought of her in that way. She was just a friend, the pictures were nothing. She just kissed him on stage for the hell of it, to create attention.
I believed him, because I had seen the footage from the concert and Nick did nothing in return after she planted her pink sweet lips on his cheek.

'GOMEZ GRABS A JONAS'

'Selena Gomez and Nick Jonas have been caught looking very close these past weeks. Personal photos have been leaked of the pair that show clear affection and the rumours seem to becoming even more true. Will this couple admit the romance?'

Nick assured me that the photos were just a bit of fun. Nothing at all serious. They were just goofing around, nothing behind it whatsoever.
I believed him, because I'd met Selena and there seemed to be absolutely nothing going on.

I flopped back down on my bed.
I loved Nick, he was faithful to me. Always.
Just because he's left me doesn't make me any less able to love him.

Then, I heard four knocks at the door.

1.2.3.4.

I walked feverishly out of my bedroom, and made my way to the door.

The figure was tall, dark and had a mass of dark hair upon his head.

My heart beated rapidly, my throat began to dry again.

I pushed down the handle, and opened the door.

"Marnie." His voice breathed out.
_________________________________________________________________________

Marnie:

His kisses were soft and pure, and made my whole body tingle with excitement and adrenaline. He'd held my hands behind my back, grasping my wrists firmly but gently. He leant over my stature and took full advantage of his position. Continually, he'd plant kisses over my skin around my neck and I could have died right there and then. Slowly he dropped his hold around my wrists, and his hands danced their way along my back. As he positioned his head over on my shoulder, his fingers started to slide their way underneath my top and moved up and down my bare skin. My heart was going a thousand beats per second, the sensation he gave me was beyond euphoric. It felt like it had lasted hours, days. But only a few minutes with him felt like forever.

After our affection had come to a tragic end, he drew backward and his eyes met mine. It was weird how comfortable we felt just looking at each other like that, anybody else and I'd have whipped my head away from them.
Gradually, I felt his hands mine and intertwined our fingers, all the while we still stared at one another. Suddenly, his soft, strong arms wrapped themselves around my body. My head smothered into his chest.
I felt his warm breath tickling my ear as a gust of wind blew past us, making us both tilt. He steadied me, and whispered,
"Marnie, I'm so sorry."
My eyes shot open, they'd be shut tightly feeling safe in his hold, but this comment startled me. What was he sorry for?

"What?" I hushed in reply, my voice concerned but I tried not to sound like what he said had bothered me.

"Marnie. I'm so sorry for what I'm about to say to you."
I pushed myself off of him slightly, he tried to hold me back into my snuggled position, but I think that was an excuse to not look me in the eye.
My head craned to look at him. His eyes filled with tears. I've never seen him cry. Ever. He was always strong. Sure, when he was upset he'd be very down and mopey, but he never cried.

"What is it Nick?" My voice was filled with worry, but my tone of voice had become high-pitched and I sounded a bit angry.
A flash of guilt flickered in his chocolate brown eyes, and he couldn't look at me straight.
"Nick. Look at me." I demanded. We always promised we'd be faithful to one another, truthful, honest, and we told each other everything. And I mean everything.

He did as he was told.
"Marnie." He breathed out a huge sigh. His grip was still firmly on my shoulder as were my cold hands on his.

"I love you." He stated. That was it? He told me he loved me everyday, but this time it didn't seem to mean a lot to him. It was said matter-of-factly with no feeling or emotion behind those three little words at all.

My heart pounded hard on my chest. My stomach knotted itself. My brows furrowed and my face was pulled into an utterly confused contortion.
"Nick." I said firmly, "What is it?"

His body tensed up, I dropped my hands from his muscled shoulders. I cocked my head to the side.

"Marnie..." He began, but I was getting pissed off with the way he started every sentence with my name as if it was supposed to mean something or explain his strange behaviour.

"Stop saying my fucking name and get to the point." My voice was brash but calm. I never fight with Nick. Ever.
My abrupt comment seemed to startle him, and I did surprise myself how the words came out of my mouth.

His hold loosened on me, and soon we weren't in contact with each other's bodies anymore.

"Look. I didn't want to have to do this to you. It breaks my heart for it to end this way."

My heart sunk. The knots in my stomach tightened until I thought I was going to throw up. My eyes started to burn with tears, and my throat went dry and I was unable to speak.

He sucked in a breath, took in my reaction and carried on with his pathetic please-feel-sorry-for-me-even-though-i-am-ripping-your-heart-to-shreds speech.

"You know I adore you. We've been together forever, and I've never been happier in my life. But I'm not sure if I can go on..."

In utter desperation I found my voice again,
"GO ON? GO ON WITH WHAT? WHAT CAN'T YOU GO ON WITH? WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU? WE ARE DESTINED TO BE TOGETHER! THIS DOESN'T HAVE TO END! WHA..WHAT, WHY... NICK... WHAT THE..."
I was at lost for words.
I promised myself if I ever had a dramatic break-up with a guy I'd make sure I'd shove all my hatred in his face and make sure I'd say what I needed to. But this was Nick, I hadn't planned this break-up.

"Baby, I'm so sorry. I know, we are destined to be together. But with all the accusations floating around, these assumptions about us... I can't bear to see you being hurt anymore."

I didn't understand what the hell he was going on about. We've been in the spotlight together for nearly three years. I know what it's like to be criticized. I know how to handle the rumours and the stupid threats.

This has nothing to do with him feeling sorry for me.

"Shut the hell up." I said sternly.
His eyes blinked at me, he was scared.

"This has nothing to do with you protecting me from the media. Nothing is wrong with our relationship. We are perfectly happy. Why are you going on about something that isn't even a fucking problem?"

When I was upset or angry, I usually put up my guard, so I seem stronger and it looks like I have thicker skin than I actually do. I break down and cry many times. Sometimes it happens for no reason at all. If anyone could break me, it was Nick. But I wasn't going to let him see that.

His hands fumbled into his pocket, taking out cassette tape. His eyes snapped to mine for a few seconds, then he held out his palm bearing the tape.
I glanced down at his offering. Then I looked at him.

"What?"
My voice was close to blubbering, but I kept my defensive tone in gear.

"Take it. It explains everything, after all, music is our language right?"
He half-smiled, he was scared to show any slight emotion that he was pleased or happy.

I looked down at the tape he was holding in his hand again.
My own hand angrily slapped the cassette out of his hands onto the wet grass.
"No." I stated. My eyes were burning again.
His face was in shock, he himself looked as if he was going to cry.

"Nick you are my world, you're my everything. If you want to end this relationship over nothing then I have no fucking idea why I bothered with you."
Tears were blurring my vision, I tried to blinked and make them go away, I turned my head and fiercely wiped them away before facing my future ex-boyfriend.

"I love you." He said again. I couldn't tell whether he meant it or not. But the state I was in, it didn't matter whether he did or not. he had caused me too much pain already for me to care.

He stepped forward, he tucked a piece of my hair behind my ear and stared into my eyes as his fingers stroked my cheek. For a moment, I drifted back to how we were before. The beauty and the wonderful essence of him I'd felt for so long came back to me.
But it soon disappeared.

I snatched his hand off my face and threw it backwards into him.
"Don't touch me." I sneered. I breathed in deeply.

"Marnie, please." He begged, he might as well have been on his knees on the floor.

"SHUT UP!" My voice was loud and screeching with such force I almost had to take a step back.

"I FUCKING LOVED YOU NICK JONAS. I LOVED YOU. SO MUCH. TOO MUCH. AND NOW YOU ARE LEAVING ME FOR NO REASON. WHAT THE HELL HAVE I DONE? WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? IS IT MILEY, HUH? IS IT SELENA? DID YOU GO AND WRAP YOUR ARMS AROUND THEIR SKINNY BODIES AND KISS THEIR PERFECT SOFT COMPLEXIONS DID YOU? DID YOU?! DID YOU REALISE HOW MUCH NICER IT FELT TO HOLD THEM INSTEAD OF ME? THIS HAS NOTHING TO WITH ME, HAS IT?!"

I had never shouted that loud in my entire life. Ever. It obviously scared the shit out of Nick. His eyes bulging out of his skull. If I had even started to get like that before, he'd been holding me close and comforting me through the night. But I guess now he was no longer going to be featuring in my life anymore. Ever again.

"I don't know what to say to you Marnie. I really don't. Music is the best way I could express myself to you."
His eyes rapidly flickered to the tape, laying the blades of grass that were becoming wetter as the rain splintered down from the sky.

I stood there motionless. My eyes focused on the tape. Nick stepped forward and planted a small kiss on forehead. He bent down to my level and looked into my eyes, but mine were still on the cassette.
"Goodbye Marnie." He said, no louder than a whisper. He turned, and walked away into the stormy weather.

I gulped. The droplets of rain were becoming colder and fell faster with the second. I'd been standing there for while. Probably hours, I'd lost all track of time anyway.

As I was becoming more and more soaked, my heart started to beat again.
I'd finally come to terms with the fact I was no longer Nick Jonas' girlfriend. But I was still Marnie Jonas. Whether I was going to marry him or not.

My legs moved stiffly in the opposite direction in which I was standing and began to make my way back home. I managed five or six steps.

Before running back and picking up the cassette tape.
My fingers ran along the plastic casing.

The first thing I noticed, is that it had a white tape over it.

And what it read was quite simple. And yet so meaningful.

'Love Songs.'

The 'o' was in a heart shape, just like we always wrote each other's surnames.

I turned once again, and didn't take my eyes off the tape. I knew the route too well to crash into anything.

I'm in the breakdown.

Nick Jonas, what have you done to me?

_________________________________________________________________________

Skye

The rest of the night was a complete blur. The lights, the noise, screaming, the music. It was all too much. Too much of a reminder why I loved being on stage. I felt like I was ready to break out of this hard shell of protection and give myself away, so I could be free again. But there was nothing I could do to help myself accomplish that. I'd have to stay in this state until I could break out.

Until that person takes me under the madness, and opens my eyes again, I have no idea how I'll cope with this searing pain that tears through my body every single day.

Once again, all I remember were the lights blacking out and I stirred to find myself in a different hotel, similar layout, but different all the same.

A day later, we were in a semi-permanent house in L.A. Apparently, or that's what I thought I heard.

The guest room was neutral coloured, with a shiny black piano in the corner next to the dressing table. That's the first thing I noticed as I walked in.
"Here you are." Denise Jonas smiled warmly at me as she stretched out her arm to the vacant room.
I mumbled a murmur of a nor disagreeing or agreeing sound and started to place my things in the room.

That night after sharing a quiet dinner with the Jonas family, I slipped into my grey sweatpants and white tee and laid on top of the bed sheets. Twisting and turning over, just thinking.
Thinking about how life had changed so drastically.

My mother and father had died when I was ten. In a house fire at my grandparents house. The only people who came out alive were myself and my brother, Casper. We vowed to take care of me. Never to let me get hurt.
But now, I felt some angst and rage towards my deceased brother.
Why would he kill himself? Leave me to fend life on my own? To teach me a lesson? To help me understand my way of living more?

I didn't know. And I guess I never will.

We were at the very peak of breaking into the entertainment industry. My demos were being heard and Casper was producing and helping me write my songs and everything was just perfect.
Until he decided to end his life.
I'll never know why.

I turned over to look at the clock. It was nearly 10PM.
The house was so huge that if you set off a bomb you would only hear a faint bang seconds later.

I shuffled myself to the edge of the bed. I glanced over at the sleek black shiny piano. The way the light hit it was beautiful, and the shimmering black and white keys glistened silently. Waiting for someone to start to play a melody.

I dared myself.

I slowly walked over to the stool. Sat down.
My fingers spread across the keys, carefully placing my fingers on the right notes.
The song I'd written by myself. Without Casper. I was going to play it to him the day he died.

I hit the first few chords, and my heart jolted. I had the feeling back again. My whole mind, body and soul were suddenly resurrected and I could feel the power I was about to behold.
Music.

I gently played the song, and the lyrics slipped out of my mouth so easily. Why did I think it was so hard, it felt incredible.

"I’m not used to these feelings,
I’m used to being alone,
But every time you smile,
I feel right at home..."

The words seeped through me, I wrote this about Casper, in a way to thank him for all he's done for me. Helping my light shine and my love for music to be put on show.

"Without even touching me,
You caught me in your hands,
You should have warned me,
About your flutterby plans..."

Suddenly, I realised. This song wasn't just about my brother anymore.

"You opened my eyes,
I looked to the skies,
I can feel my wings,
And out comes butterflies..."

I stopped and breathed. I suddenly pounded on the keys and my voice grew louder and more intense.

"y skin burnt in winter,
And froze in the sun,
It’s no use fighting,
You’ve already won,
Me over,
Why don’t you come over,
We could have such fun,
Burning in winter,
And freezing in the sun..."

I wasn't taking in anything but the song, everything ele meant nothing to me anymore.

"You opened my eyes,
I looked to the skies,
I can feel my wings,
And out comes butterflies,

It’s like I’ve already taken flight,
Into the night,
No one sees what you can see,
I never knew I could just be,
A butterfly,
Ooh, I can flutterby,
Ooh, I’m a butterfly,
Burning in winter,
And freezing in the sun,

You opened my eyes,
I looked to the skies,
I can feel my wings,
And out comes butterflies..."

I softly came to an end. My heart beating steadily as I brought my hands into my lap.

My mouth was dry, and my mind felt numb.
I knew why I wanted to be a performer, I'd always known why.
I just never wanted to admit it to anyone in public.

You know, I thought they'd laugh. Because if you never did make it, then people would always think you're a dreamer, and I'd be heartbroken and disappointed in myself. I'd be ashamed.

But now I knew what I could be. I'd always known.

I'm just not sure if the public were ready for me yet.
I don't think I'm ready.

_________________________________________________________________________

Nick

Frankie was the one to awake me and inform me there was something playing down the hall.
A CD was on or something he said.

He pulled my hand and led me to the noise.
It was coming from Skye's room.

Gently, I held the door as to not make any noise.
I peeked my head through the crack.

There she was. Sitting at the piano. Again.

Her hands dancing fluently across the keys, playing an enchanting melody and singing.
That voice, that beautiful voice.

I couldn't believe she was singing. Something must have struck a chord with her. It was her own song, I hadn't heard it before.

Then she finished, almost moulding back into her old self, curling back into her body. She shouldn't have to feel that way.

She was amazing.
Skye was amazing.
Skye Singer was amazing.

I stepped in the room.
I heard her body twitch.
She flinched upright, trying to disregard the fact I'd entered the room.

"Skye?" I whispered, almost like Skye herself, who was barely heard if and when she spoke.

"Mmm?" Her mumble was quiet, but sounded sad.

"You're... amazing. Do you seriously know how incredible and talented you are?" I walked over to the piano and bent beside her.
Frankie wondered in behind me, placing himself on the bed, watching us both.

I saw a tear well in her eyes.
"Please don't cry." I begged her, my voice softly breathing into her ear.

She shot her head round. Her brown eyes sparkling with a mixture of confusion and worry.
I don't why, but I felt like I could easily become friends with her if she started to speak again, and become engaged in life once more.

"I'm sorry." She said. Her voice abnormally loud, and it was barely a hush either.

"What are you sorry for?" I asked hesitantly, half-knowing the answer already.

"I. I...I'm sorry I'm not talking. I'm sorry that I'm ignoring most of my life, and I'm sorry for not being able to see how much you've done for me. And be grateful for it." Her voice was pure and honest. And there's no way I couldn't forgive her.

A tear fell from her eyes and it painted her rosy cheeks a slightly darker shade of pink as she bent her head.

I put my hand underneath her chin, and lifted her weary head upwards so that she was looking straight at me.

Her eyes glittering at mine.

She was so beautiful.

"Skye. You needn't be sorry for anything. We're going to take care of you now, ok?"

She blubbered a sniff, "You should hate me. I've been such a nasty bitch to you, all of you." She cringed at her sentence as an after thought, glancing at Frankie but he seemed to be un-alarmed and hadn't taken notice of her curse word, not that it mattered.

"I don't hate you. I could never hate you. I'm going to take you under my wing."
She blinked.
"I don't think you ever had a choice whether you were going to be a superstar or not. The world had too much noise for you to handle, but we'll get by that. I promise, everything is going to be fine."

She coiled away slightly, her eyes searching my own.

I reached to her head, putting my fingers through her hair, stroking her face.
She brought her frail hand up and wrapped it around my wrist. A few of her tears dripping into my palm.

All at once, we both leant forward, wanting to be in each other's company.

She fell into my arms, she slipped carefully off the stool and we sat there in silence, holding each other.

She smelt delicate and pretty, her skin soft and her body thin.
I rubbed small circles on her back, comforting her. She needed someone right now, and I was going to help her get through it.

As we pulled away from each other, and I got the feeling that neither of us really wanted to. Our hands intertwined.

"Thank you." She said, louder than a whisper.

"My pleasure." I whispered in reply.
"But thank you." I said, almsot as an after-thought.

She gazed up at me.
"What for?"

"For being you. And showing me something I'd never thought I'd see. Now can we stop this mute business and can you please start to talk young lady?" I said, trying to get her playful and see if she had any humour.

She giggled quietly, and the sound was gorgeous.
She nodded, her hair swaying with her movement.

"Good." I nodded at her, and rubbed her shoulders.

I got up and smiled at Frankie and tilted my head towards the door.

"Goodnight Skye." Frankie said softly and walked out the door.

"Goodnight Frankie." She spoke back, in the same tone as my younger brother.

I pulled her up and smiled.

She smiled back.

"Wow." I said, in awe of her sparkling white teeth spreading across her face.

"What?" She craned neck to the side.

"You." I said quietly. Oh god did I really just say that? Cheesy or what?

But she grinned back at me.

"Goodnight Skye Singer." I smiled down at her. I kissed her gently on the forehead.

I felt like I should protect her, and care for her and be all big-brotherly like.
She didn't mind, and she tip-toed up and pecked me on the cheek with her soft round pink lips.

"Goodnight Nick Jonas." She gave me a weak smile and she slipped into her bed as I walked proudly out of the room.

I was going to make her a star.

End of.

_________________________________________________________________________

Nick

It was like she had a switch in her brain, controlling her emotions and feelings. But there was fault. Something in her connection that made her veins boil, something that we needed to fix.

She'd fallen into a deep sleep on the way to our venue. Apparently, it's something she does alot. When she needs to get away from it all, she sleeps.

We arrived at the hotel at 9:23PM. She'd been asleep since 11:30AM.

I really didn't want to awake the sleeping beauty, so I carried her.
It was no problem, she wasn't heavy, in fact she was incredibly light.

We got some looks as we strode into the hotel, with a sleeping girl in my arms. But I didn't care. She needed our help. I was willing to try.

We made a last minute swap with the rooms. My parents were sharing a room with Frankie, who'd watched Skye intently whilst we drove.
Kevin and Danielle were now together in their own single room.
Joe and I were sharing a double room, with us sharing one half and Skye with her own privacy in the other.
After being given the low-down talk with my parents, we made our way to our rooms.

Joe smiled at me as I set Skye down on her bed.
"What?" An embarrassed half-smirk spread weakly across my face.
"Nothing." Joe grinned. I nudged him with my shoulder.
"She's beautiful, even asleep." Joe said matter-of-factly.
I nodded. "Yeah. She is." I turned into our doorway and Joe followed me.

Tomorrow we'd get her up and lively, make sure she's having fun. Try and make her forget about her worries.
Or so I thought.

_________________________________________________________________________

Skye

The smell rose up my nostrils. My eyes shot open, only to witness flashes of red and orange inches away from my face. My heart pounded, as I stiffened backwards, trying to edge myself up against the back of bed.
The whole room was engulfed with thick black smoke. I held my sleeve up to my mouth trying to not breathe in the toxic fumes.
The sound that fire makes is terrifying. The loud snaps and crackles is not like poured milk in cereal. The bed I'd been laying on was becoming dark with colour as the flames flickered closer up the sheets.
My mouth was dry, but there was only thing to do.
Scream.
Scream as loud as possible.
But I couldn't, my mouth like sandpaper and my tongue stuck to the roof of my mouth, and I could'nt breathe. I shut my eyes closed. Wishing I could escape. Tears streamed down my cheeks, providing the only water element in the room. I felt the heat coming closer, rising under my cheeks.
Suddenly, my voice broke. I screamed.
As loud as I could.

_________________________________________________________________________

Nick

Joe and I were just mumbling to each other, almost dropping off into slumber. When a scream erupted from Skye's room.

The both of us jumped out of bed and stormed through the door connecting the two rooms.

Skye's state was disturbing. Her eyes pinned shut, her mouth screeching with stifled yells. Her body thrashing around the bed, the sheets torn from made-up corner and she was distressed to say the least.
Joe looked at me panic-stricken, he bent down trying to hold her hand.
"Skye, Skye. Hey, hey, it's ok, calm down. Skye, shh." I'd never heard my brother's voice as frightened as this before.
I myself, was speechless.
I placed my hand on her jolting shoulder.
"Skye." With her name said once, her eyes shot open.
Bloodshot and terrified.
Her eyes squinted around the room, noticing each detail from the white lily's on the shiny wooden stool in the corner, to the embroidery curtains.
Her tired brown eyes finally rested on Joe, and then myself.

"Was it a...A.. Dream?" She whispered, her voice barely audible.

Joe nodded. I stood there in awe, an ordeal that had lasted not even a minute had shown me how vulnerable she was. She was worth protecting. I knew that much.

_________________________________________________________________________

Skye

After the awkward night with my insane nightmares, the day that ensued was not what I expected.

They spoke to me, but I responded with faint head movements and quite grunts. You may think I'm totally ignorant and rude, but I didn't know how to be nice anymore. I couldn't find the old me. The me that could have a laugh at anything with anybody, that made people happy and have fun wherever I went. The person that was able to make friends with anybody.

That person was long gone.

I watched as they got up on stage for sound check. There were already hundreds of girls crowded around the stage, screeching and screaming.
"I LOVE YOU!"
"JOE MARRY ME!" etc. You know the drill.

Seeing as I was trying hard not to let my soft side show, I decided the only way I could express any emotion without it overpowering me was anger, or annoyance. So I slated every girl that caught my eye, in my mind of course.

What stupid little girls, they're just people... who have incredible talent and charisma. Who the fuck am I kidding? I was jealous that I couldn't be the one right at the front screaming their names and grabbing onto their hands at every moment I could.
Yeah right.
Did I?

There was a part of me that wishes I could be a fan again, just so I could forget about wanting my dream.
But then there's the other part of me, that wishes I could live the dream and have fans screaming my name every night, instead of me screaming theirs.

As they played their set, my eyes were set on all three of them. I didn't want to feel something towards them. But it was hard not to.

Casper believed in me when no one else did.
He wanted me to be happy, and he knew they only way I could obtain it was to be on stage, performing to my heart's content.

Casper was the best brother in the world. And for some reason, I saw traits that he had in the three Jonas'.

I was interrupted by my daydream by a soft small hand slipping itself in mine.
I looked down and saw two brown eyes staring up at me.
Frankie looked just like Nick.
I'd always had a soft spot for kids, they're just great. I gave him a weak smile, and he squeezed my hand gently.

I felt the Jonas parents stare on us both, and Danielle came over to us.

"Hey." She said softly.
I blinked.
"Hey." I said quietly, but I literally didn't really believe I even heard myself say it.

She put her arm around my shoulder softly.

"You know, if you ever needed someone to talk to..." My heart skipped a beat, my eyes started to burn again. No, this was not happening.
I shrugged her grip off my shoulder.
I uncurled my hand from Frankie's and wondered off backstage.

I didn't know where I was going. I didn't care where I was going.
I just wanted some time to myself.

About fifteen minutes later I was in a room filled with comfy looking sofa's and a rather large vending machine. I walked over to it, then my foot came into hard contact with it. I kicked it over and over again, until I couldn't stop myself. I gripped the side of it's cold metal frame, and pulled my head back and forward banging against the glass door, that separated me from chocolate and soda's of some kind.
I was sure I was in there for at least half an hour, until I felt someone's strong arms grip underneath my body and pulled me into a safe tight hug.

_________________________________________________________________________

Nick

The noise that was being created she seemed to be oblivious to, and after all three of us shouted at her to stop, she didn't seem to hear.

I had to stop her, why was she putting herself through so much pain?
Why was torturing herself? I wanted to help her so bad. She was beautiful, talented and I'm sure she had an amazing personality underneath all the mystery and odd behaviour she exposed us to so far.

As I held her in a tight hug I lifted her away from the vending machine and sat on the sofa with her. She didn't struggle. She sat limply in my arms, defeated and exhausted.

"Why are you doing this to yourself?" I asked, I didn't expect her to respond, most of the questions that you asked Skye were rhetorical.

"It's all my fault." She quivered. By this time, everyone was in the backstage room, we'd gained an audience but she didn't seem to care, or probably hadn't noticed.

"What's all your fault sweetie?" Joe bent down to her level and asked her gently.

"Everything." And with that, tears fell from her face.

I used my thumb to wipe away her tears.

Suddenly, we were called to go and get ready for our first performance.

We couldn't leave her there. Then I had an idea. No one may agree to it, but it had to make her believe again.

I grabbed her hand, dragging her along with my brothers and the band. She didn't take in where we were going or what we were about to do.

She was going to be in the spotlight tonight, whether she liked it or not.

_________________________________________________________________________

Skye

I didn't remember anything that happened before the light hit me.

I was just walking somewhere, with someone.

Then all of a sudden, my dreams seemed to of became reality.

Ear-splitting screams rumbled through my ears, my heart thumped hard on my chest. You know when a really loud song is playing, and your whole body is jolting and you put your hand to your heart or throat and you feel the jumping and vibes electrifying inside of you?
Well, it was like that.

Lights blinded me, and I saw thousands of faces staring down. I blinked.
Trying desperately to make sense of what I was experiencing.

I looked over, and saw the three boys standing and smiling at the crowd.

Then I heard Nick's voice boom into the microphone.

"I hope you don't mind but we've a special guest with us tonight." The crowd screamed. I'm guessing they were talking about me?

"Skye Singer!" Joe yelled and pointed at me. I stood there, motionless.

The audience nonetheless cheered for me, as if I was some megastar.

As they started to play their set, I sat with the band, just observing the wondrous arena and the amazing atmosphere.

I knew this is where I should be, but I couldn't do it without Casper.
Suddenly, just before my almost-happy emotions were drained from me, I felt a hand pull me up and the song that got me everytime I used to listen to it. And why they were playing it to me was kind of ironic.

"There's a lot you don't notice when you read between the lines,
The future's out of focus, when you're blinded by the light,"

As Joe held me, he blinked up at the light and smiled, and I dared to give a weak smile back.

"It's a hope for all the hopeless,
In the worst of trying times,"

It was like they were singing my life story to me, and they held my hands and gripped me tight, and I felt like a human again. With real feelings.

"I resort to being speechless,
Cause our love won't survive,
Our love won't survive."

And as I took in their beauty, essence and pure devotion.

A tiny, very small part of me...

Wanted to sing along.

_________________________________________________________________________