• Jo Bro Dream

    Ok ok, so some people don't like the Jonas Brothers, but it just so happens I do, & i had a wonderful last night about them and it was just so real and lovely. So if you don't like them shhhhuuuush. If you do, you can read my dream or you don't have to whatsoever : )

    Basically I was in this airport or train station place, and I turned this corner for the lifts (don't ask me what lifts (elavators) were doing in there!) I suddenly saw the three jo bros waiting outside in the hall and didn't go with my friends in the lift instead I flung my bag at my freind and told her I'd meet up with her later. I stepped out of the lift and stood gobsmacked at them. It was pure magic.

    I can't remember the middle part but this is the best I can do, we started talking about something and I swore for some reason and Kevin goes, 'mind your language' and I just go 'sorry.' Nick and I started talking about something and jumped on me play fighting and ruffling my hair and then he was sort of in the background & Kevin disappeared.
    Then Joe said something about some being a dumbass he says, ' don't you think he's a dumbarse' he said 'dumbarse' in a really British accent. Joe came over to me picked me up and was being really sweet and I felt amazing, then he started tickling me and he pulled my top up (it was sort of those dreams where you see things that are happening to you like an outer body experience but you can still feel what's happening to you.) and he said something like, 'so this is is joe bro tickle' and started to tickle my stomach and sides. It felt so real and it was quite funny, he then turned me on feet and i said , 'can we not do the jo bro tickle anymore?' he just laughed and the four of us starting talking again. It was AMAZING.

    The other thing is I had another dream that night about me being a dummy or something pretending to renact how Michael Jackson died. There was this flame thing and I was told to burn all the hair off my body using this flame thing and it said on the object, 'please keep away from clothes, they will catch fire.' i was like WHAT!? and i just had to keep burning my trouser leg... very odd.

    Hope you enjoyed my freaky dreams : )

    Rosmy -xxx

  • Jonas Brothers Fanfic....

    Was originally on YouTube so you may wanna watch the vid -

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UIfRRpdX53k

    They make me happy ! so ..

    The Jonas Brothers - A Story of Dreams, Thrills & Guitars - Part 1

    She'd taken some friends to the U.S.A & was so ready for the magic to happen. But deep inside had a huge doubt anything was going to become of this trip. She put her best foot forward and just wanted to shine.
    On her way sight-seeing (she saw it as an opportunity to spots celebs and accidentally get her career rolling), her friends wanted to go and have lunch in this little spot above a park/hang-out where Skaters, families and friends were. She lied to her friends and told them she wasnt hungry, and told them she meet them in the park after they had eaten. They were wary about leaving her but agreed and went to eat.

    As she sat down on the grass she looked up at the sky. There wasnt a cloud in sight, she couldn't make up any cloud-animals/people to pass the time. She looked around and everyone was laughing and playing. She felt a shock of exhilaration, she had no idea where it came from, a force from within her telling her to be noticed, be seen. This could be it, youre in America, make it big time. (She didn't live in the right place in England to be noticed, shed always dreamed of moving to London, but it was very expensive and this trip was paid out of kindness from her Grandad, who had always believed she could anything she wanted)

    Her neon blue skinny jeans walked down the path, her yellow pumps made sucking sounds and she did so, and her matching tee with her name on blinded everyone who turned to see who was there. She felt famous, walk by yourself with some bright/eccentric clothing on and the feeling should resemble the status. Shed forgotten that her friends were to meet her, and she walked out of the park and went down the street and the hustle and bustle had her pumped and ready. It was like a dream. A fantasy that she was make-believing that was true. Just once she wished her dreams could turn into reality.

    Suddenly, out of nowhere a large group men were backing up towards her and there was no way of stopping them. A split-second afterwards she realised they were paparazzi and they were snapping shots of none other than the Jonas Brothers. Her heart skipped a beat. It was too surreal for words. She admired the three boys so much, they made great role models and had always said that whoever was with them are the luckiest people, and she had the greatest respect for not only their music but for being genuine and down-to-earth and level-headed, shed always wished some of the guys from where she was from (not that they took any interest in her) had that same respect and dignity that they had.

    The paparazzi got closer and closer and she had no idea what to do. Abruptly, they had looked around at her told her to get out the way seconds before they were in inches of her. They shoved her and she fell to the ground and the group of men trampled on her as they walked past. So this is what it was like, she thought. It hurt. Not just the pain of falling over, but the humiliation and the ignorance of people. Tears fell silently down her face as she brushed herself, and lay there taking deep breaths trying to recover.

    Just like magic, she heard a familiar voice. Hey, sweetheart. Are you alright? She looked up and saw two big brown eyes staring at her. Before she could say anything she heard two other voices she recognized shouting at the paparazzi, telling them the were inconsiderate and that they had no respect. She was stunned. She couldnt talk or move. Her brain finally started to take in what was going on. I think so. was all she could get out. The Jonas Brothers. The Jonas Brothers were helping her. it was Joe who had asked her if she was alright, and he held out his hand to her. She half smiled and took it. As she did so he pulled her up, and she stumbled, but Joe caught her and grasped hold of her. You sure youre ok? He rubbed his hands on her shoulders, comforting her. His eyes blinking worriedly at her. She still seems pretty shaken up. She whipped her head round and Kevin stood there looking at her. Who are you here with? Nick put his hand on her shoulder.
    Im with friends, theyre probably looking for me. She stuttered. I dont know where Im staying, we havent even got in a hotel yet. She felt her pocket. And Ive lost my phone.
    I think its best if you come with us. Nick said, looking deep into her eyes, I mean, you can call your friends when we get there. We cant leave you here all by yourself. Especially if you dont know your way around. Her heart jumped into her mouth. All the things she thought of the boys, and now they have hearts of gold. She was being cared for, and she felt on top of the world. Even if she had been stampeded on by paparazzi. Lets go, before anything else crazy happens. Kevin concluded, and they got into the carpool beside them.

    Will do a part 2 if i think it's worth it !

  • I'm such a nasty manipulating evil bitch.

    Recently, the most unconventional boys have been telling me that I'm attractive and they really like me. & I'll admit the first reason I'm turned off is because a. - they hardly know me. b. - they're not the most gorgeous guys ever.
    I know that's harsh but I would be lying if I said looks don't matter.
    In fact, some people would I find drop dead gorgeous my friends and others etc, would find ugly or revolting even. I mean I like guys who are a bit feminine, but i also adore manly men who can protect me. I mean, i'm also attracted to loads of comedians and am attracted to them purely because I love a man with a sense of humour. They don't have to be stunning to get my attention, Jimmy Carr, Tim Minchin, Noel Fielding, not conventionally good looking but I see them as older-brothers or father figures let's say. & a day out with them sounds immense.

    I don't see myself as attractive. Or 'pretty' as they keep saying. It's just something I'm not. I've seen myself in the mirror enough times to come to the conclusion I'm just not good-looking. Yeah, I'm obsessed with beauty, make-up etc, but my insecurities could eat me alive if I wasn't so bothered about my appearance to look 'decent' or 'acceaptable.' People's opnions of me really matter when they really shouldn't. I've never been told at school, socially that I'm good-looking or been told by the opposite sex through msn, etc. that i am. So it proved my point and that's that way it's always been.
    But these guys, the ones who are, let's say are the people who are the last people I'd think to go for me. And for some reason I'm just so unkeen and nasty to them. I feel so guilty while I'm spitting shit at them but I think it's a protection thing. I don't want it to be a joke or them to hurt me in a relationship, so I sort of make them back-off before anything can happen. & the more I tell them the f off, the more they persist in wanting to talk to me and 'like' me. and it annoys me to the point where I'm effin and blinding at them and they are swearing back at me desperately wanting me to like them.
    I just don't want to. I don't have to like them, obviously. I could block them but it's too addictive in trying to make them stop and I want to see how far they'll go.
    Jesus christ I'm a bitch.

    I don't know what it is, but I oust them out, & I think it has to do with the fact that no boy has taken an interest in me whatsoever for a long long time and now they do I want some power to simply say 'no.' It's so strange and weird.

    I went to a 'nappy night' at local nightclub De Niro's and it was fab, boys that were gorgeous and at the end of the night, some guy danced with me (it's the whole go up behind a girl put your hands on their waist and sway) I didn't dare turn around incase he tried to pull. But at the end after he let go, I turned and really wished I hadn't... he looked like a beige smurf... tall, buff, beige smurf, but a beige smurf none the less. But while we danced, it felt amazing. Like someone was protecting me and really cared.

    I don't know, I'd much rather have a guy who is confident in being themselves and having that female side and can enjoy being with me and having a crazy time and then have guy who looks after me and treats me well and can act as a guardian angel and still have fun with me.

    I'm just weird, and picky. & I have looong list of what I need from a man.
    It takes a understanding guy, who can put up with some silly behaviour from time to time and who loves me for who I am. Not WHAT I am.

    They say there's someone for everyone, but I need that person now more than ever... I don' really have time to wait any longer!

    They need to be mine, and only mine. Trustworthy and beautiful sculptured from the heart x

  • The Time Has Come...

    Ok, well I've been away...
    as if you noticed : ) - I even got one of those sweet little messages from blog.uk saying they missed me. How kind of them to want my random splutters of brain-juice on their site. So I thought I'd start writing again, it may help to get all the feelings off my chest while the mania and panic of 'GCSE's/coursework/exams/rehearsals/plays' is underway.

    It's crazy, and I'm pretty proud of myself that I haven't had manic depression or some sort of mental breakdown. Like back in late '07, when school was too much and one day I refused to go into school and sat at home all day plucking my eyebrows to shreds up until the point where I had whisps of hair and the rest I was forced to pencil in. I looked like a very abstract chinese alien. Somehow, someway, some twat knew that I'd penciled them in when no one else noticed. I looked ridiculous and thought I'd learnt my lesson. Well, I was wrong. Appearance is important to me, and it shouldn't be as important as I insist it should, I mean I can't go out with my dreadful skin and I don't know what people will think (probably nothing at all) but I don't want to be seen barefaced. And I should be able to. Well, one day I went into school after a terrible reaction on my face to something I just used too much and it had scarred and burnt my skin. Evnethough it had made me look like I had a miniscule plastic surgery, I did it again. & again. Now, that it's been done so often it's made stretchmarks on my skin that I've been trying to get rid of with bio-oil. It's done a somewhat good job, but I wish I didn't have to mess around with myself so much. (Don't get rude now :P ) I think it's the insults and the remarks and the 'bullying' i guess I got beforehand that made me alter myself. But I only wear make-up as a statement. I don't do it to hide anything, I have nothing to hide, as you can see I'm a very honest and open person.

    Sometimes, I don't know who or what I am. One minute I'm confident and ready to do anything. The next I'm an ignoramus bitch who won't want to do or go anywhere.

    Not really sure what to say now. I've let alot out. Oh yeah, I've recently become in pure love with Michael McIntyre. He's brilliance beyond belief and anyone who says he isn't... well keep it to yourself eh?
    Oh, excited about going to see Tim Minchin in September, he's gonna be AMAZING! Should be G-R-E-A-T ! Cannot wait... but I'm gonna have to. I sort of think about like, I've got my GCSE's, & work experience first... goddamnit ! I don't mind life being complicated, just wish I had strength to get through it without crying so much!

    that's all for now,
    if you have any suggestions for me then I'd be welcome to consider them : )

    bye, much love,

    Rosmy -xxx

  • Randoms that I stole...

    you won't have the will to go through all of them, but if you do... you're a little saint:>>

    1) Are you in a complicated relationship? nope (:
    2) Do you hate more than 3 people? of course!
    3) How many houses have you lived in? four
    4) Favorite Chocolate Bar? dairy milk : )
    6) Have you ever tripped someone? yeaaah
    7) Least favorite school subject? maths!
    8) How many pairs of shoes do you own? erm, quite a lot !
    9) Do you own a McFly CD? nope...
    10) Have you ever thrown up in public? once i think ....
    11) Name one thing that is always on your mind? singing ..,.
    12) Favorite genre of music? ... everything... apart from heavy metal grunge!
    13) What is your zodiac sign? leo
    14.) What time were you born? like nealy 1'o'clock in the afternoon!
    15) Do you like beer? not really....
    16) Have you made a prank phone call? my fair few : D
    17) What is the most embarassing CD you own? A*teens :X
    18) Are you sarcastic? oooh, very much so.
    19) What is your favourite colour? purple!
    20) How many watches do you own? three?
    21) Summer or winter? summer, but winter sometimes... snow days (:
    22) Is anyone in love with you? don't think so.... :S
    23) Favorite color to wear? anything bright/neon
    24) Pepsi or Sprite? neither.
    26) Where is your second place you'd call home? .... My auntie's house!
    27) Have you ever slapped someone? yeaarp... they went red and cried. :S
    29) How many lamps are in your bedroom? two...
    30) How many video games do you own? loads!
    31) What was your first pet? cat - Bonnie
    32) Ever had braces? nope!
    33) Do looks matter? a bit, (i would be lying if i said no!)
    34) Do you use chapstick? yep!
    35) What is your favorite subject in school? drama/art
    36) Your Brother or Your Sister? ... i have one brother!?
    37) Are you too forgiving? not at all, well .. i don't think so....!
    38) How many children do you want? at least two.
    39) Do you own something from New Look? lotsa stuff yaaah ; )
    40) Favorite breakfast meal? weetabix!
    41) Do you own a gun? ...... no.
    42) Ever been in a fight? don't think so S
    43) When was the last time you fell over? i dunno... it happens so often!
    44) What did you do 3 days ago? went up the hospital!!!
    45) Favorite physical feature of the preferred sex? eyes/hair/smile
    46) Have you ever called your teacher mum? erm once or twice!!!!
    47) Have you ever been in a castle? yeaaahp.
    48) Nickname(s)? roz, rosmob, rozzy, dave, dom!
    49) Do you know anyone named Henry? yes.
    50) Ever been to Wales? noope.
    51) Do you own something from Adidas? i think so!
    52) Are you thinking about somebody right now? yeah, your mum.
    53) Ever call somebody boo? ....? no.
    55) Do you own a diamond ring? probably!
    56) Are you happy with your life right now? not really !?
    57) Do you like your hair? hmmm, i suppose !
    60) What were you doing in May of 1994? erm, well I was born 3 months after May of that year so... in a womb I guess.. growing my little foetus ass off : )
    61) Do you own a Westlife CD? .. no.
    62) McDonalds or Burger King? McDonalds!!!!
    63) Do you like yourself? ...I don't KNOW myself!!!!
    64) Are you closer to your Mum or Dad? mum.
    65) Been to London Before? yes, many, many times!!!!
    66) Are you afraid of the dark? yes!! always need a light on!!!
    67) Have you ever eaten paste? no.
    68) Do you own a webcam? yup!
    69) Has anyone ever called you a tease? no.
    70) Ever broken a bone? no!
    71) Are you religious? nope!
    72) Do you chat on MSN often? yes.
    73) Pringles or Walkers? either!!! probs pringles though..
    74) Have you ever broken someones heart? doubt it.
    75) Simpsons/Futurama? simpsons!
    77) Do you like your School? NO!
    78) Have you ever stripped? no!?
    79) Do you have a birth mark? nope.
    80) Do you own a car? no !
    81) Can you cook? deff not.
    83) Do you text message often? a fair bit yeah.
    84) Money or love? love, but money helps yeaaah? : )
    85) Do you have any scars? little ones yes.
    86) What do you want more than anything in the world? that's for me to know, and the world to find out...
    87) Do you enjoy scary movies? love them!
    88) Relationships or one night stands? relationships!
    89) Big Red or Juicy Fruit? .... neither.
    90) Do you enjoy greasy food? no.
    91) Have you seen all the Rocky movies? no :S
    92) Do you own a box of crayons? erm, yeah two sets. Boosh Crayons & old crayolas~~!
    93) What do you want more than anything? god knows. xx

    1) Are you really ready for the questions? yeah!
    2) Was your last meal a mistake? ooooh yes.
    3)do you believe in god? nope. - i wish he was though!
    4) Who did you last say i love you to? can't memba!
    5) Do you regret it? no!
    6) Have you ever been depressed? yeah, rather alot at one point.,..
    7) Have a best friend? FRIENDS!
    8) Are you a boy or girl? girl...
    9) What is your current status? single!
    10) How do you want to die? Dramatic, fast & pain-free
    11) What did you last eat? chocolate digestive : )
    12) any sports? hockey, basketball, badminton, track events!
    11) Do you play an instrument? no.... well, my voice!?
    12) Do you bite your nails? not really anymore!
    13) When was your last physical fight? erm, I dunno!?
    14) Tom from MySpace is about to go to jail, what’s your first thought? haha! sucker...
    15) Do you have an attitude? well, alot of people say so....
    16) Ever been in love? not yet...
    17) What is your real name ? John Smith ; )
    18) Like reading? you bet i do : )
    19) Are you gonna get high later? sure, I could do with a boost
    20) Do you hate anyone at the moment? Yeeerp.
    21) Do you miss someone? i don't know....
    22) Who is your best friend's uncle's cousin girlfriend's daughter's boyfriend? ... Batman?
    24) Do you tan a lot? i tan quickly, yes.
    25) How exactly are you feeling? erm, a bit energetic i suppose, nothing unusual there !
    26) Ever ate food in a car while someone or yourself is driving? Yes...? is that bad?
    28) Have you ever started a rumor? don' think so....
    30) Are Barbie & Ken bad influences on people? hell yeah. slutty tart and manwhorey mongrel.
    31) Do you regret anything from your past? quite a few things yes..
    32) What are your political views? polictics shmolitics... - the government are bull...
    33) Do you want to have kids? Yes!!!
    34) Ever kissed somebody that name start with a N? ....Nope.
    35) Do you type fast? Yeaah, quite fast.
    36) Do you have piercings? ears, & bellybutton.
    37) Want any more? Maybe.
    38) Can you spell well? erm, not too bad.
    39) Do you miss your past? quite a lot yeah.
    40) What are you craving right now? my dream.
    50) What should you be doing? doing Art HW!!!!
    53) Does somebody love you? No!?
    54) What is/are your favorite color(s)? purple/yellow/pink/white.. SO MANY COLOURS!
    55) So are you liking this survey? suppose bruv.
    56) Do you LOVE someone? i don't know.
    57) Do you have trust issues? ohh yeah.
    58) Have you ever had sexual feelings for someone? ... yes!
    60) Do you have a good relationship with your parents? ..kind of!?
    61) Are you secretly in love? no.
    62) Do you believe your ex thinks about you? no!?
    64) Have you ever been cheated on? no...
    65) Is this survey too personal now? - it's 'skay.
    67) Should this survey stop? naah, let's do some more of this shit!
    68) Have you ever walked outside completely naked? no?! who does that!!?
    69) Do you think you're a good person? i hope so.
    70) Do you believe everything happens for a reason? yes.
    71) Do you take showers? no i like to smell. what the hell is that question all about!!
    72) Last time you had a nice bubble bath? couple days ago.
    73) What is bothering you? you betch.
    74) Have you ever done drugs? nope.
    75) Do you play the Wii? Yeaaah, it's downstairs!
    76) How do you feel about Wal-Mart? you mean Tesco? - i bloody love it!
    78) Who has inspired you the most? Christina Aguilera
    79) What is your favorite quote? 'Be Who You Want To Be, Not What Others Want To See.'
    80) Are you excited you're almost done with this survey? no, i love surveys!
    81) Are you mean? can be very mean....!
    82) Can you keep white shoes clean? not really !
    83)Have you noticed this survey stopped getting personal? ... don't care tbh.
    84) Do you believe in true love? yes.
    85) Are you proud of the person you've become? i don't know.
    86) Do you wanna change? in a good way, yes.
    87) Who was the last person to make you mad? my dad probs!!!

    blaaaah, i'm so bladdy weird today. my head is so messed up atm.

  • Never finish them off...

    It's weird, I start to write stories but I can never finish them unless I have a deadline or it's a short story. I'd love to be able to write a novel but ... pfft. I couldn't do it, I could. But, I just wouldn't! |-|

    here's a few examples!!

    Kingdom Luvvie

    The wet snakes of water curled up my legs, and made my bright pink tights go a darker shade as I splashed my way through the puddles. I shouldn’t of worn yellow and pink. First off it’s way to distinctive for those creatures to see me, and secondly, they would now be ruined.

    My heart raced and it pounded vigorously against my chest, making me breathe heavier. I can run quite fast and they were lagging behind me but they would catch up. The streets seemed dirtier and more grim than usual, the deserted houses and shops looked haunting, and night had come sooner than I had hoped. The air was musty, and was beginning to become immersed with fog. Determinedly, I jumped up and grabbed onto a shop bar sign and pulled myself up, so I was resting on a window ledge. The screeches and moans coming from them were horrific. At that moment I wished to be deaf. The way they sloped around, trying to intimidate you with their spindly thin statures and large bulging eyes.
    But I’m not afraid. I’m never afraid. To be afraid means you’ve caved in to defeat. Then you can never win. But I always win.

    All of a sudden, they spotted me, calling out to one another to show them where I was. They were more intelligent than I thought. I held onto the bar and smashed my leg through the window and jumped through. It was dark and for the first time I was slightly scared. It had been a bedroom, little music boxes with fairies, teddy bears and dolls everywhere. Half-heartedly, I ran out the room quickly went downstairs and carefully whipped back the small kitchen curtain to have look outside. Nothing.
    It was time to go.
    Heroically I kicked down the front door and went north. Fast. As I was running to my escape, one of the freaks came out of nowhere and started to make me back-up. No way was this happening. Then another came from my left. Then another, from my right. In a few seconds a whole gang of them had me surrounded. I turned this way and that, staring up and their disgusting faces. They were at least two foot taller than me. And I’m fairly tall for my age.
    Here we go; the training would now pay off.
    Screaming like a kung-foo maniac I pelted, kicked and punched them. They wouldn’t die; just stun them enough so I could get away. I turned to one of them and kneed the bugger in the face. Then one of them came sauntering up to me, its claw hand grabbed my face and lifted me up above its head.
    This was it, I bit its claw and smashed its gross face and rolled over as it dropped me. I got up, and ran.

    As I did, they all stumbled around foolishly and I felt extremely proud. My walkie talkie bleeped. “Luvvie? You there?” as I turned the corner I saw Tom about a yard away from the gate. “Yeah.” I said with a smirk.
    “Having fun?” he mocked,
    I grinned. “Oh, amazing fun.” I sounded cocky, but understandably triumphant.

    He started to run up to the gate as I got nearer and he held out his hand for me to grab onto. Tom is great; he’s such a good friend. As I caught his hand tightly we ran twin-like in the pouring rain up to the realm gate.
    The freaks were coming, and we didn’t have much time.
    Quickly, we each grabbed either side of the gate, and pushed. Tom finishing just after me. I slotted the key in and turned it just as one the monsters banged into the gate. They repelled off it like a magnet. But, just as I expected there were a bit stupid, as they kept hitting against it but still getting the same experience.
    Me and Tom looked at each other and smiled. “Come on.” I said. “Let’s go.” We walked into the misty and sweet smelling clouds of darkness back into the real world.

    Broken Soul.

    A body needs to be restored. But what happens when all the power in the world helps out?

    A little girl is dying, and her parents need her to stay alive for the good of their planet. They set out to find the greatest magic of all. Little do they know that this magic could disrupt the whole body of the universe. Forever.

    One

    Feeling the sand under my hands made me feel like a child, who had just discovered a new word. I rolled my fingers back and forth through the grains of velvet and shut my eyes.

    Dreaming is a powerful thing. It can make you believe anything you want it to. You can defeat your worst fears; accomplish your wildest ambitions, and rest in a magical world of your own for a while. No one can touch you. You’re just in an empty space, floating amongst your brain stories of wonder. It’s another life you can finally call your own. You, and only you, play God, while the rest of the universe controls theirs.

    ********************

    The lights twinkled among us, as did their faces. Their eyes lit up with excitement and I couldn’t help but smile so broadly, that my cheeks hurt within a second of extending my mouth. The whole city and maybe more, had come to see our new baby girl. Authreus put his arm round my waist and squeezed me inwards to him. My headdress bumped his crown and he bent his head down to mine. He grinned cheekily and rubbed his nose against mine. Tenderly, he kissed my lips and started to walk closer to the balcony. I stood there, feeling like a little girl again, twirling side to side bashfully and staring at the floor with a smile. I had the perfect family. My life was now just going to get better and better. I had never felt so alive. The aisles were piled with on lookers, the great stone walls looked enchanting with the bright pink roses that were attached to the jade green ivy, and the gargoyles looked much more pleasant, now in light of the bright aquamarine sky. The clouds could have never looked more candyfloss like, and the noise of excited chatter and joyful squeals made me laugh quietly. Suddenly, silence started to sweep down amongst everyone, and I too made my way towards the edge of the balcony. Authreus looked at me lovingly and whispered in my ear, “Liasay?” I looked up at once with bewilderment; he never called me by my full name. “You know, you have the responsibility of raising our daughter now, this has to be a spectacular presentation, she needs to be praised, adored at all costs, to prevent any disappointment.” Right after that he moved along to start the show.
    The trumpets blew, the birds flew, and the people all started to clap and cheer. This was it; we were now going to present our first child.
    A mixture of excitement and hesitance entered my body. I was of course proud and pleased that it was going to happen, but what if it wasn’t what people expected? What if they were disappointed? No. They were all going to be glad, they have to be. My thoughts were stopped abruptly by the band.
    Morgaminx held the loud-horn and sent a terrific sounding note down. The marching soldiers were smiling! They were happy! This all meant tremendous news. Or maybe they think we have been blessed with a son? So he can join them when he becomes old enough? Oh no, good thoughts should only be processed.

    My wondrous husband held the kingdom at his word and started to speak to our people. His face was proud, and it’s the most proud smile he’s ever had upon his powerful head. “For many centuries, we have wanted an heiress to be born.” There were some calls of happiness and beautiful gasps emerging from the crowd. “For many years, we have waited for a child to be born into our family.” Again, they began to whisper with enthusiasm. “Now, we can finally show you… our new daughter!” Ecstatic cheers and woops came from below. There were no sour faces, everyone just looked thrilled.

    Out from the purple velvet curtains behind us a cot was being brought through, and placed just under the balcony’s view. I bent down into the angel’s bed and looked at her for a moment. I stroked her dark hair and whispered ever so softly into her tiny pink ear, “You, my love. You will be great. You will be the most beautiful and astonishing princess.” Carefully, I pulled from underneath her and cradled the god-given-gift in my arms.
    As I got up, I whipped my hair out of my face and turned around. I was ready to see their bright happy faces.

    ********************

    He wouldn’t stop. That was clear. The red had seeped through my thin t-shirt, and now he had gone to get his belt behind the old armchair. The question is always ‘Why?’ why is he being such a complete idiot? Where is this getting him? Only his self esteem is building. Even so, it soon dies out and he does it again. But people have been noticing. The scars. The bruises. The plasters. The bandages, the long sleeves, the stockings, the hats and the bandanas. School is the worst. The looks I get make me feel 10 inches tall. It’s ever since mum died. He blames himself. But he’s going to be responsible for another death if he doesn’t stop soon.
    He’s back. With even more rage. “You stupid, stupid girl!” There’s no point shouting. He’ll just hold something nasty-tasting between your mouth and hold it there while he lets it all out.
    I must admit, the belt does hurt. After a while you go a bit numb and can’t feel anything. But then you have the job of finding the marks you didn’t feel afterwards. Sometimes I count how many times he hurts me before I can’t feel the pain anymore. You know, to try and think of it as a game instead of a punishment for something I never did. The most I’ve ever got to was one thousand, three hundred and forty two.
    That was recently actually, I think along with my hair being torn out it doubled the hurting.
    Usually, I get nervous before the first hit. Then after the tenth time I become used to it and I try to think of it as a bad dream. A dream that will only end when the throbbing stops.
    I remember the first time it happened. About a month after mum died, he started to get more angry and violent, and because he didn’t have mum to pick on, he went for the next best thing.
    He hit me in my chest and I had yelled at him, “What the hell are you doing dad? That really hurt!” After that I had burst into tears and stutters of confusion and sadness. The next day, he lunged at my throat, and held his big strong hands there for an excruciating ten seconds. Then he dropped his grip and grabbed my shoulders and led me towards the table. He pushed me down and looked over on me. “You will obey me! You are my possession, and I can do whatever I like!” I had just sat there, wondering if he was just warning me, and thoughts went through my mind wondering what I had done wrong. All of a sudden he smashed my head against the edge of the table and I had fallen unconscious.
    My dad being violent towards me isn’t the thing I dread the most. It’s my little sister witnessing it almost everyday. I ask dad to stop doing it in front of her, at least take me into a different room. He just responds with, “No, it will give her a better meaning of power and will teach her who the boss is.”
    It upsets so much, and I just wish somehow it would stop.

    Now, I’m just trying to get on with life. I’m just in my last GCSE year and was going to hand in my final piece of History coursework when it happened again. SO I’m trying to get rid of the blood splodges over my folder and bits of paper. I could just print it out again, but that didn’t help the folder situation. All of a sudden, a shrill scream came from downstairs. I darted out of the room, and slid across the landing falling awkwardly on my leg and cried out as the sharp twinges erupted up my through my body. As I got up slowly, I flicked my head back and was stunned at what I saw.
    A pale figure stood in my way and it started to get closer and as it did so and stood up quickly. It was almost as if it wanted to run to me for help. It stopped dead on where it just reached me. This was no illusion. Yes, it was pale and ghostly, but I felt real presence as I was looking at it. I was not scared. I have other things to be more afraid of.

    ********************

    Darkness. It was just darkness. No more grinning faces. No more twinkling lights. Just complete and utter darkness. Enough to see faintly I grant you that, but not only was everything pitch black, it was also deadly silent. You could kill a man with the quietness that surrounded me. I looked down. My baby had gone. My angel was not resting in my arms. I cried out in despair and agony, ‘Help! Please! Someone help me! My child… my child is gone….! Please…” My heart had almost come to a standstill.

    Not The End....

  • Depression!

    Ok, so here's a poem I wrote because well... I needed to?? :DD

    Depression

    Your heart feels cold,
    Your body feels soft,
    Your legs have no bones,
    Your mind has no brain,
    Your face has no eyes,
    Your hands have no fingers,
    Your head has no hair,
    Your mouth has no words,
    Your screams have no echo,
    Your anger has no rage,
    Your sleep has no dreams,
    Your lips do not smile,
    Your teeth do not shine,
    Your ears do not hear,
    Your bed has no pillow,
    Your hurting has no pain,
    Your sadness takes over,
    Your home is dark,
    Your life is bleak,
    You’re always crying,
    You never speak,
    Your blood is not red,
    Your breath is not pure
    This could be the end,
    Lock that door,
    Throw away the key,
    You’re worthless to everyone,
    That’s what you see.

  • This is Me

    Well, you get to read it first! This is my creative writing coursework for English, this is the first version, and may ned tidying up but info before you read on.
    This story is probably coming from deep within me, my own hopes and dreams for the future, and it's just the ramblings that go on in my mind that have to be translated onto my keyboard! I wrote this improvising, it's how I work best, I cannot plan or draft things. I don't do that, it's not me. anyways, enjoy.

    This is Me

    The adrenaline pumped excitedly through my veins. This is where I belong, all eyes on me. My heart was racing with happiness and my whole body tingled with thrill.
    I opened my mouth, the audience became quieter.
    My voice bounced and echoed off the walls and my other personality took control. I was someone else on that stage: the confident, alpha-female star that I really was deep inside. The passion was oozing from within me and I knew.
    This is me. I was exactly where I was supposed to be. I’ve found who I am and there’s no way to hold it in. I’m not going to hide who I want to be. This is me.

    As I finished, the applause thundered tremendously, their faces all lit up with joy. I was glad to make them happy. I slightly bowed or curtsied and then model-walked off. The buzz was unlike anything I’ve felt before, I felt so powerful and strong, like a lioness.

    A-list celebrities were in there tonight, that made me feel amazing. I wanted to burst out of my skin and just shout about why I was so happy. My energy was so high and I hadn’t even had chocolate yet. All this could mean big things; this could be my big break.

    As I went into the bar, my friends rushed over to me, Rachel gushing proudly, “Babe, you were amazing.” I felt so honoured to be this girl’s friend. She was always there for me. Through thick and thin, she puts up with my moodiest behaviour and my most pathetic rants. She’s brilliant.
    I turned around and went to get a drink to calm myself down. As I hopped up onto a seat some big brother stars sauntered past and smiled broadly at me. I grinned back.

    My emotions were uncontrollable; it made me feel so good. The barman asked what I would like and I was just about to say ‘J20’ when Simon Cowell squeezed beside me and said, “Whatever she’s having, it’s on me.” My heart nearly stopped. Simon Cowell!? It was just unreal. He gave me his trademark wink and smiled. His blinding white teeth shimmered like stars and I knew my life was going to change forever.

    I was so fixated on his smile I wasn’t listening to what he was saying. “Sorry, I was miles away.” He laughed and put his hand on mine.
    “You are amazing. So young, so talented, so confident.” I couldn’t take it in. “So, Miss Cambell.” I smiled. “I want you to sign this record deal.” My mouth dropped and I stuttered with happiness and disbelief. Tears streamed down my face, I have never cried of happiness before. My feelings raced furiously around my body and out of pure excitement I flung my arms around him. “Thank you so much, my life is now complete!” I retracted, feeling a bit silly in my slightly odd reaction. He laughed again. “You’re very welcome, you deserve it. I’ll be waiting outside at the end for you.” He winked and then walked over to some other a-list celebs he knew. I turned back around on my seat and sat there, (still with my mouth wide open.) A few of my mates came over to me and nudged me playfully, “Hey girl, catching flies are we?” I swivelled around and shut my mouth, and then I smiled. They all stared blankly at me. “What?” they all became intrigued in my proud face. I laughed.
    “You’ll never guess.”

    ***************

    The comforting odour of sweat has never felt so reassuring. It was fine, I was nervous so the adrenaline would get going and I would perform my very best. I wanted to impress him, I had to impress him. I would never forgive myself if he didn’t like me. I don’t know why I value his opinion so much, but he’s friends with a lot of other celebrities, and that could mean more opportunities if I can get in with him. Not only that, but he seems like a funny and kind guy, so why can’t I just go for it? I put on my deodorant and headed back into the interviewing room.

    I sat down on the neon green chair and felt like a princess. My make-up was being touched-up every second, the producers were explaining about the interview and how nice he was and I shouldn’t be worried and that I should just have fun with it. Cool, that’s just fine then; I should get on with this swimmingly. My eyes kept wondering to the black chair next to me, where Jonathan would be sitting when he arrived.

    The door swung open and that face that was all over TV just stood there smiling in a smart suit. “Hello guys.” He opened his mouth with an even wider grin as his eyes met mine. He hurriedly came over to me dodging all the cables and cameras along his way, as he came to shake my hand. It was a bit too friendly, almost as if he was nervous. As he did so I blurted out, “Hiya,” very confidently and forwardly. I wanted to show him I was able to remain in the presence of him and not be jaded or do or say something stupid or silly. “Nice to meet you.” I also added.
    “And you my love, I’ve been looking forward to it. You seem like a lot of fun.” I could be a lot of fun, its good that’s come across in the media. I didn’t want to seem like a boring old twit.
    The producers started to explain this would be cut down to about ten to fifteen minutes from about forty-five. I tell you now, I love being interviewed. I love that people have an interest in what I have to say, and I’ve been to a lot now, so they can’t exactly be getting bored now can they?
    “Ok, in three, two, one, action!” Mark Lawson (the director) didn’t actually say action, they don’t usually say action, and they mouth it and do thumbs up or a pointy finger sign. It’s quite funny to be honest.

    “So Rosie,” He stopped and started laughing, “great! Your name doesn’t help my speech impediment!” I laughed as well and then he looked all serious and I did the same in a jokingly way and he started again.
    “Hello, Rosie.”
    “Hi.”
    “Finally I get the chance to interview you; my family adore you, as do I.”
    “Aww thank you.” I felt special, I really did.
    “So there will be some silly questions and some not-so-silly ones and then some that people have submitted to us.” I nodded after he’d explained this.
    “So, quite oddly the most asked question that’s being asked is how tall you are; now it seems people can’t decide if they think you’re tall or short. I can’t tell as your sitting down but…” I stood up and twirled around and said,
    “I’m five foot four, roughly.” As I sat back down and he laughed,
    “Not so tall and not so short then?” We had a laugh and the interview continued fun filled and exciting.
    “The last question everyone wants know is why did you call your debut album ‘This is Me’?” I smiled, and looked at the camera.
    “That’s a great question, erm well, this will probably take up the whole ten minutes but, here we go.” Jonathan sat on the edge of his seat, listening intently and I felt like I really mattered, these words that were about to pour from my mouth were going to be magic to the bare ears. “I used to be bullied; I wasn’t popular or known for what you know me for now. I wasn’t as confident as I am now, I didn’t or I couldn’t let my real personality shine through. I felt so controlled and restricted and I felt like I didn’t belong. I hope people can see that I’m in my element when I’m working on stage or TV. There’s nothing else I can even start to imagine myself doing and it means the world to me. This has been my path for life and I knew from a young age, this is exactly where I want to be and there’s no way anyone is going to get in my way and stop me. This is what I love; this is who I’m meant to be. This is me.” A kind of mysterious and magical silence filled the room, and Jonathan retracted back into his seat and looked down and sighed. “Just incredible, amazing young lady you are. It’s been a pleasure, thank you very much.” He bent over to shake my hand, “no, thank you.” I said as I put my hand out.

    The interview got broadcasted everywhere, from BBC1 to Channel 4 to E4. It even got a five minute slot on MTV2. I was on top of the world. My stomach kept tying itself in a knot, reminding me how bizarre and how beautiful life can be. I was so grateful, for everything.

    Almost a year since my debut album made its breakthrough, my single ‘This is Me’ is still in the charts. Top 20 if you must know. To be there for that long is a miracle. To get in the World Record’s for it is also amazing. I’ve cracked America, just like Leona Lewis did in her start to a career.
    I leaned out in my seat and looked around. My happy lenses (sunglasses that make everything brighter), were on and I was hoping for someone to notice me, that feeling of success and acknowledgement just filled me with a buzz, a comforting buzz that was telling me this was where I belong, I’ve found my place in the world, people recognize me for the good things and the talent, not for being that-girl-you-saw-once then disappeared (you wouldn’t get noticed anyway, would you?.) To keep this status this high, takes a high standard amount of work. It’s fun work though, difficult and stressful at times, but it’s amazingly exciting.

    I stepped off the plane with my new L.A girls (they were still the funny cheeky British babes I had when we were crossing the pond) and they were looking stylish in the sun. I however, wanted to be a bit more out-there when I first arrived in America. I was a bit bright and neon, but that was the norm for me. I did get a few looks, but most of them smiling and nodding and saying “Hey!” as we got into the airport. Everybody was so friendly and as we came through the terminal I saw a sign saying, ‘Rosie and Friends’. Sounded like a kids TV programme if you ask me. But I had a swig of my water and pointed towards the smiling chap who was going to take us to our villa.
    “It’s a privilege to be driving such a talented young lady.” I smiled into the mirror so he could see my face. “Thank you, I’m just excited to be here!”
    “You will love it here sweetie, everything’s bigger and brighter.” I felt a bit offended. England could be bright and big too, it wasn’t tea with the queen and major rainy dullsville all the time. Oh god, I’m already sounding like an American.

    We drove up around a big swerving bend, and only fantasy could describe what we saw.
    “Oh. My. God.” I gaped in awe and stepped out the taxi, and looked upwards. “It’s like a castle!” I couldn’t believe it. Rachel came over to me and put her arm around me. “I’m so glad you’re famous!” We both laughed. Jodie came over as she picked up her bag. “Me too, glad that you’re famous and dirty rich!”
    We all doubled over and waved to the driver and ran to the door. I jammed the key in and opened our magical fairytale mansion. It was like we were royalty. I dropped my bags and sprinted over to the large glass window. The swimming pool was huge and the same colour as the sky. It felt great, but it was going to take a while to get used to.

    I turned around and ran and jumped on the leather sofa. “Bliss.” I concluded. Both of the best mates in the world sat down either side of me and turned on the telly and laughed about how great it was. It was just getting better and better.

    We were out on the town and I was signing autographs a fair bit, and my other mates, before I was known so well would have been standing there getting a bit annoyed about how everyone was coming up to me and all that, but these guys were great, and they were going to be in a film as dancers and I was so happy for them. I on the other hand was going to interviews and perform on Ellen Degeneres. Then it was another week getting out and about, and then it would be back home to England.

    “It’s lovely, everyone has been so friendly and I’ve only been here three days and it’s been great!” On being asked how I liked being in America by Ellen.
    “Great, that’s great. So, you’re going to perform for us now?”
    “Yep.” I got up and walked over to the microphone in the middle of the stage and waited for the intro.

    The week went so fast and I soon as I turned I was back in England. Beautiful, bright, big England. I’m never going to move away, Britain is where I belong and I was proud to be wearing some of my friend’s clothes she had designed, and she had now had her own fashion line! I knew she could do it; she has all the power and drive in the world. Tonight I was to do a gig in Cambridge, my hometown. (My proper hometown.) The corn exchange where I had been many times to see other performers.
    Loads of my friends and relatives were there along with my fans. It’s weird saying that. My fans. I like it though.

    The song came out of my mouth like fireworks, the words were so powerful and the beat was strong, and kept me going. These elements all helped me overcome my insecurities, my fears and my nonsense dreams. Life is what you make it, not some piece of paper saying how good you are at something. I hadn’t forgotten my friends or family. They’re of course still a big part of my life. They are my life. But I did this by myself. I completed this journey on my own and I did it successfully with distinction. Now I’ve been accepted. Not everyone is going to like me, and I’m not expecting them to. To know I’ve made something of myself due to my own actions is fulfilling. I didn’t want to die and not achieve anything. The clapping was my lullaby, and it sent me soaring higher than I could have ever imagined.

    Thinking about it now, my greatest want in life overtook me, but it was so worth it. I hope I was an inspiration to people. I hope they could find some power within themselves to find a light and share it with the world. If everybody could find that light, we would all be successful and famous. I guess I just made it happen. Or perhaps it was my destiny to show others to make the most of what you have when you’ve got it. You can do anything, no matter how old or how young. Make it happen and believe you can do anything. Maybe I was just lucky, or maybe it was fate. My family can live in my financial dream knowing that they don’t have to worry about work anymore; they did enough for me anyway. I am sad, that I didn’t get to do all the things I wanted to. But I was living in a magical land than few people get to enjoy. Be yourself, and other people will love you for it, don’t live life being morphed into something you’re not. It’s who you are, and there’s no point in hiding it. I made that mistake for far too long. So don’t be afraid of the opportunities, go for it and do it for yourself. It’s your life’s purpose. Everybody should have that chance.

    I guess I just died, living my dream.

    The End.

  • My new infatuation...

    Tim Minchin. < How can you not love this guy!?

    He's funny, he's plays piano (amazingly well!), he's got some awesome hair, and he's very pretty. & he's mates with Russell Brand & like The Mighty Boosh!!!?

    He seems like the kind of person I'd like ot hang around with, the humour is riskaay & so so cool.

    I like him.

    I'm sure you do too :D

    - so much so, I'm trying to get tickets for his Live Gigs later on this year ;) x

  • What's wrong with me? I fancy too many gay people!

    Aaah dear. Am I destined to live in a world of wrong? I think it's the reason I fancy straight men like: Noel Fielding, Russell Brand, Justin lee Collins etc. Because they don't opening themselves up and letting off that feminine side.
    And now I'm getting annoyed that I seem to fancy too many guys who will never love me back! Ok I'm going to list a fair few gay men I rather like:

    -Alan Carr
    -Gok Wan
    -Alan Cumming < Corr
    -Graham Norton (I can't figure out whether I just 'like' him or I fancy him!)
    -Simon Amstell
    -John Barrowman
    -Andrew Hayden-Smith
    -Matt Lucas
    -Will Young
    -Oh the list does go on when I think of some more.

    It's just really odd, well not really because you feel you can get on with them.
    Just thought I get it off my chest ;)

    Before I end this quick post, i have nothing against gay/lesbian/bisexual/transgender people. -- Actually they make this world a better and more open place. I think anyway.

    Byyye x

Footer:

The content of this website belongs to a private person, blog.co.uk is not responsible for the content of this website.